<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>fifty shots for the stars by razussy</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23215063">fifty shots for the stars</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/razussy/pseuds/razussy'>razussy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Black Friday - Team StarKid, The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Angst, F/F, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Other, Smut, headcanon based, oneshots</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 10:27:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>57,197</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23215063</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/razussy/pseuds/razussy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>collection of stories that are based on one word prompts, all ranging from platonic engagement to hardcore shipping. this will also be worked on wattpad, since i started it there already lmao</p><p>ship/relation and trigger/smut warnings will be mentioned in the notes of each chapter!!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alice &amp; Bill (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals), Alice/Deb (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals), Becky Barnes &amp; Linda Monroe, Becky Barnes/Tom Houston, Bill/Paul Matthews, Charlotte/Doug, Charlotte/Emma Perkins, Charlotte/Sam (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals), Hannah Foster &amp; Ethan Green, Hannah Foster &amp; Lex Foster, John McNamara &amp; Colonel Schaeffer, Lex Foster/Ethan Green, Linda Monroe/Gary Goldstein, Melissa &amp; Colonel Schaeffer (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals), Paul Matthews/Emma Perkins, Tim Houston &amp; Tom Houston, Tom Houston &amp; Emma Perkins, Xander Lee/John McNamara</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>131</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. affection.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>paulkins. sfw.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>thirty seven. thirty seven is the amount of times a kiss was shared between paul and emma. this may be a lot, though considering the two had a day off from work, it isn't surprising the only thing planned to do was to be affectionate towards one another.</p><p>"c'mon, matthews, i've kissed you way more today." said emma, starting a debate on who had the majority percentage in the total amount.</p><p>"that isn't true! you have been napping throughout the entire day, meaning you couldn't have possibly have a lot." he argued back, his expression emoting a jokingly upset look.<br/>currently, the two were cuddled up in bed while a god awful movie played on the television. the movie had something to do with christmas, despite it being spring.</p><p>"still, emma started, "i attacked you multiple times today. you never mentioned anything about kissing, say, my cheek while i slept. ya' had all those chances and yet you didn't give me a wittle kiss." she cooed the last part.</p><p>paul screwed up his face. "don't you remember this morning? i am a very lovey guy when i'm tired, we need to factor in those dumb pecks."<br/>"pecks don't count, we're adding up kisses. do you not know the difference?"<br/>"yes, i do!"<br/>"then who's the one winning?"</p><p>there was a pause for a moment, audio from the television kept the room from going silent. "fine," sighed paul, "you have the most. hey, it's only two right now, i have the rest of the afternoon to absolutely get more than you."<br/>emma smiled devilishly. "i take that as a challenge." after saying that, she craned her neck in order to reach paul's cheek and put a kiss or two on it.</p><p>he returned the smile and let her do this, honestly just happy to be able to focus his attention on her for the entire day. this was better than going out and partaking in uninteresting activities, in his personal opinion.</p><p>as expected, the following hours consisted of paul and emma randomly kissing each other out of the blue; the final count being approximately eighty shared kisses. unsurprisingly, emma came out the winner in this game, and paul couldn't be more than proud of her.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. aftermath.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>emma.<br/>sfw.<br/>tw: mentions of depression, suicidal thoughts</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>she couldn't get out of bed. lying on her back with her gaze glued on the popcorn ceiling was the only thing emma had been motivated to do at this time in the early morning.</p><p>see, usually her thoughts never got this bad. her nightmares never brought this much pain. that's why she was awake in the first place; she had another scene of an infected paul coming for her.</p><p>this has been happening for two years straight. constantly, her dreams consist of the hatchetfield citizens singing and grabbing her and trying to infect her, and she was getting sick of it. emma tried to go to therapy as soon as she got to colorado, though it was expensive and can only have home visits every other wednesday.</p><p>she didn't even like therapy. it was the same conversations and exercises, she finds it aggravating to go through. god, she can't even mention how she's been feeling like burden and shouldn't have lived after the incident without the therapist guilt tripping her. who the fuck will miss her? no one she loved or was close to is alive anymore, not even tom and tim made it.</p><p>emma brought a hand to her face and covered her forehead, feeling an ache coming. she wished paul was with her. she wished things didn't turn out the way they did. she could've woken up by his side, turning over to throw an arm around him and kiss him awake. she could've helped make him breakfast, maybe show him how to properly plant and grow pot.</p><p>she thought about his awkward smile and chuckle, his verbal support that was unhelpful yet appreciated; his terrible hatred for musicals and anything trendy at the time.<br/>
paul matthews, she still remembers his bright eyes. his normal blue eyes, and his scary electric eyes. his nervous ticks, and his animated movements.</p><p>the headache was pounding. she wanted it to go away. she wanted all of it to go away. emma was too tired to get rid of it, and definitely too tired to figure out how to quickly take herself out. she wanted paul to go away, she wanted peip to go away. she can't shoo them off the land of silence, though.</p><p>emma sat up slowly, slouching naturally and shifted her gaze towards the bedroom door. she smiled when she saw her dog waddle in, he got excited when he realized she was awake. she called him over, watching him jump on the bed and climb into her lap.</p><p>her dog was small but sweet, and always admired her. it's rather comforting to know an animal can have so much joy for its owner. emma glanced over to her window, noticing the sun was making its way into the sky, her pot plants now visible thanks to the light.</p><p>emma looked back down at her dog, who was patiently waiting for belly rubs. she gave them, cooing down at the small boy who made happy noises.<br/>
maybe he would miss her. maybe even her plants would, no one would tend to them. her customers would miss her (for the wrong reason, but still missed). perhaps her therapist would even miss her, and despite their somewhat ignorant advice, emma wouldn't want to disappoint them.</p><p>she was making progress, somewhat. she's eaten and exercised more for the past year, gaining proper weight and muscle back. that's about it. her sleeping is the next thing she wanted to work on, and forgetting the memories is a good start.</p><p>emma stood from the bed, urging her dog to follow her out the bedroom in a baby voice. she'll keep living to spite those who thought she'd get no where in life. she'll keep living for paul, who would've wanted her to move on. she'll keep living for her dog, who can't wait to see her every day and help her in the field. she'll keep living for herself.</p><p>living might be bad now, but maybe she can make the most of it. maybe she could make everyone she knew that are watching over her proud.<br/>
she's lost, but will find a way to get back on track after a long break. she wanted to. she made herself want to.</p><p>emma perkins shall be okay.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. ash.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>emma and tom.<br/>sfw.<br/>tw; death mentioned.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>the sky painted an overcast view that sunday morning, causing a gloom throughout hatchetfield. residents seemed to not be bothered by this, used to how odd the town was.</p><p>emma, however, wished it was brighter. today had been the day she agreed to go with tom to see jane's tombstone, leaving tim with a babysitter back at his house.<br/>it was awkward, for sure, considering they just got back into contact and briefly call now and again to check on each other.</p><p>here they were, standing stiffly next to one another as they gazed down at the slab of stone engraved with her name, birth and death date, and a quote she always lived by. there were wilting flowers in the dirt nearby, and a bouquet tom brought and delicately placed right on top of the tombstone.</p><p>graveyards are always silent, not even a bird dared to break the peace of the dead. emma couldn't stand it.</p><p>she looked over at him, noticing his head was hung and his eyes were closed, as if he was thinking of an inner monologue that he didn't want to share with her. that's okay.</p><p>"tell me, tom," started emma; "why haven't we talked about her ever since you told me?" she isn't sure if this was the right thing to start with, but it's the only thing she's got at the moment.<br/>tom stayed quiet, though turned his attention to the shorter woman. emma wasn't returning the gaze, she didn't want to see the pain in his eyes. he didn't want to see hers, either.</p><p>"what is there to talk about?"</p><p>"well, i don't know, maybe just... what happened."</p><p>"i've already explained that. you know it was my fault, i told you i wasn't paying attention." he said, his tone forced to be calm. the last thing he needs is to argue with his dead wife's sister at her grave.</p><p>"no, not that. what was she saying before, what did she look like? where were you guys even heading to? the happier part of that day." said emma, as she crouched down on the ground and ran light fingertips against the stone. it was cold, as expected.</p><p>tom blinked, watching her. he doesn't remember. he can't remember the good parts of the day, other than jane and tim's smiles before they got into the car. after that, it was the vivid images of the crash, of his bloody spouse; maybe the shrill scream of his son.</p><p>he crouched besides her, rereading the same words he's read many times. he finally gave a response.<br/>"i don't remember. i don't want to remember. i hate remembering. i love jane, loved jane, but i can't keep going back. you know? is that what a douche would do?" asked tom, with a quiet sigh.</p><p>"no, i get that. i do, trust me. it's nice to think back to her as a fond memory, but-" emma paused her hand- "i think jane needs to be put to rest. i can't say much, though, i've never been to the most important days of her life. some sister am i, huh?"</p><p>he looked at her. for a family member that constantly declined their life changing events, he didn't hate her. no, it was far from hate. he's comforted to know she was still alive, still there. there was still something of jane alive.</p><p>"jane talked about you often. not in a rude way, rather an admiring way."</p><p>"admiring? bullshit, i work at a coffee shop and am in college just so i can grow pot. i'm miserable, tom, i don't think jane really meant it." laughed emma.</p><p>"you should've seen the glee in her eyes, then. she always thought you'd turn out into a wonderful person. she told me how she tried to get your parents to focus on you for a change, and defended you when they said nasty things." replied tom, who was still looking at her. emma stared at her hand, but her face indicated she was listening.</p><p>"you may not believe me, but she did care for you. she would get upset, yes, but understand you were working on your life. jane's like that, too understanding. better with words, i'm sure."</p><p>"was like that, yeah." she nodded in agreement, sniffing back any possible tears. she didn't want to cry. as relieving as it is to have this conversations, emma didn't want to talk anymore, despite her starting it.</p><p>"hey," emma nudged tom's shoulder, finally looking at him. "how 'bout i buy lunch for us, bring some back to tim and grace?" she flashed a smile.<br/>tom stared at her before giving in with a nod, "okay." the two stood, silently said their goodbyes to jane, then walked off. emma thanked him for talking with her, and he thanked her back.</p><p>"if you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one." -dolly parton</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. autumn.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>linda monroe/gary goldstein. sfw, mentions of previous affairs.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"no, gerald, i said come back in two hours! when did i ever say half an hour?"</p><p>oh, there is was. an argument already, and linda had barely stepped through the door to gary's office. he didn't acknowledge her as she continued to bicker with gerald, his focus down on a paper with his future clients listed for later that day.</p><p>it went quiet, causing gary to look up and see linda standing in front of his desk, leaning her pelvis against it. she always did this before their legal conversations and... other activities, and how she dressed and the extra hour definitely proved she wanted to do things with him.<br/>he isn't complaining, though; linda was wearing a beige, tight knit turtleneck, soft black leggings, brown boots, and a maroon scarf he couldn't quite tell the material of. her makeup had been done with a little more care than usual, along with her hair, which fell properly on her shoulders.</p><p>"good morning, mrs. monroe, i see you've dressed warm due to the chill fall air." said gary, pushing his glasses back up his nose and kept his gaze on her. she looked like she was trying to think of something to say.</p><p>"gary, how much is it for me to get a divorce with gerald?" she asked, not moving away from the desk. she doesn't like standing in one place for too long, apparently it is different when in his office, or around him in general.</p><p>he pushed his chair back and got up, stepping to one of his many filing cabinets, this one being tall and silver gray. "well, i can't answer that question just yet, but know it can be costly. however, i can already give you some copies of the first request to the separation, and all the documents following after. those will need to be signed by you and gerald, and no doubt the discussion of your children and where either of you will live afterwards is an important conversation to the judge-"</p><p>"shut up, just- shut up." linda sat in one of the cold, comfortable chairs, sighing in annoyance. "you are thinking too far ahead, i simply wanted to know a possible price range so i can get through with this smoothly."<br/>"i apologize," he closed the drawer to the filing cabinet and walked back to his desk, plopping the large file full of papers specifically for this type of situation. "may i ask, though, why you and mister monroe don't want to continue being together?"</p><p>"gary, i tell you every time i see you you can just use our first names. i've seen your cock more than your ex girlfriend, i think we're close enough to not be so formal."<br/>"er... right. but about the reason for the divorce, why?"<br/>"he's a prick! i don't know, we aren't getting along anymore, and it's irritating to see him."</p><p>linda used her fingers to rub against her temples, eyes closed. she continued: "it's like our connection or bond or whatever broke, and our so-called love has gone to shit. i don't want my family to hate me for encouraging gerald and i to split, but it'll be a much better situations for the kids. they won't have to hear us argue." he nodded along to what she was saying to show he was listening, even if she wasn't looking at him.</p><p>being her attorney rather than therapist, gary isn't skilled in how to give advice or tips in what she could do. he, at most, could comfort her with a hug or sex, but he felt as if he needed to genuinely be there for her. she's stressed, there's no doubt about it, and he has to push past their work relationship in order to support her as a friend.<br/>"there's nothing wrong with having issues, have you talked to him or the kids about this?" asked gary, as he crouched down in front of her so she could meet her gaze better.</p><p>"i didn't mention anything, no, not even with the boys. they're young, so young. two of them don't know who their real dad is." replied linda, opening her eyes and dropped her hands in her lap. she looked... sad. this wasn't new, gary witnessed her cry from being upset in the past, but she was rather calm right now than usual.<br/>"it's like i built my family up on a tower of lies and the thought of them viewing me as some asshole villain hurts. i want to be a good mother, gary, but disappointing them is all that i have been doing for the longest time. i mean," she took a hold of his hands when he offered them, "i fuck with other men because gerald doesn't love me and i don't love him, our kids sees us make up and kiss and all this shit that means nothing to either of us. i- i feel as if you're the only one to ever actually adore me; not be frightened or disgusted, or feel miserable to have to deal with me, like other men i slept with."</p><p>where was she going with all of this? she didn't know, and gary couldn't figure it out, as well.</p><p>"god, i don't like these weak feelings, so stupid." she spat and blinked away any tears that threatened to fall.<br/>"linda, i'm sorry," gary squeezed her hands; "i really am. i'm in no way a professional with this, but life is filled with disappointments and dreadful scenarios no one wants to deal with. yet that's just it- you need to go through with them and have others to the same in order to get where you want to be. a happy, peaceful, fucking lovely future you desire." he raised one of her hands in order to put a soft kiss against it, lingering there to warm up her cold skin.</p><p>"i might not be much help, though you should be aware that i will always be here for you. not even for a quick fuck or whatever the hell, i'll be open to sit and listen to you open that bottle of repressed emotions you pretend to talk about with your therapist or life coach. obviously i am going to be the attorney to get you through the divorce, but try... calmly talking to gerald about it. don't get too frustrated early on. i- i don't know." he really didn't know. at this point, he sounded like he made things up just to have her calm down.</p><p>linda leaned forward and moved her arms so they were wrapped around gary's neck, burying her face into his short hair. she didn't make a sound. gary did the same but around her waist, running a hand up and down her back, hoping their position wasn't uncomfortable since his face was almost pressed against her chest.<br/>they sat like this for some time, ignoring whenever either of their phones would ring or go off. gary could hear the soft thumping of her heart, and listen to each time linda took in a breath then exhaled slowly after. for linda, she listened to the ticks of a clock and the noise of his moving hand against her sweater; she could faintly smell gary's shampoo, or was it his natural scent all together? either way, she liked it.</p><p>"you're strong, linda," mumbled gary after another few seconds. "always remember that. you've dealt with so much already, this'll blow over before you know it." once he was done speaking, he felt linda pull away, which made him bring his gaze up to her face.<br/>she looked like she was at ease. there was emotion in her eyes gary swore he saw multiple types sessions ago, but can't recognize at the moment. was it even an emotion? god, he isn't good with this sort of thing, other than telling the difference between happy, mad, sad, fear, or disgust.<br/>oh, and lust, of course.</p><p>she used a hand to place under his chin and leaned down, pressing a light kiss against his lips. he didn't impose, he enjoyed it when she kissed him, but this isn't for his personal pleasure, oh no. linda pulled away once more but only for a moment, seeing if he'd say anything negative, then continued to kiss him, more passionate this time. gary returned the kiss as he closed his eyes.</p><p>an hour must've already been over because, at some point, linda tugged on his clothes to indicate she wanted him to stand, which he did. gary gently pressed linda back against the chair, bringing a knee up and used it to spread her legs and rest it on the seat. she broke the kiss and grabbed his tie, fiddling around with the cloth so she could untie it. he grabbed her wrist after she did.<br/>"are you sure you want to do this? after everything we talked about?" he asked, guilt creeping up in his chest when he felt a wave of desire crash in the pit of his stomach. was this even appropriate?</p><p>linda nodded as part of her response; "thank you... for everything, by the way. i mean it." she gave him a genuine, content smile.<br/>that's all he needed. he re-locked their lips together, and both hoped no one else working in the building would decide to pop in as a surprise check-in.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. bar.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tim and hannah. sfw.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>hannah sat in the short grass near the jungle gym and monkey bars, legs brought up to her chest and arms wrapped around them. she chewed on her finger out of a habit she hadn't grown out of quite yet, a bump visible to prove of her doing this for years and years. she kept her gaze down at the sand nearby, too focused on what webby had been warning her about for the entire day. she felt discomfort and didn't budge from her tense position.</p><p>she never liked recess. the heat of the early summer sun made her tired, the noise of her classmates yelling and running around made her ears hurt, and the visible gleams of the swing chains gave her a headache. she sat in the same spot every day, sometimes completely alone for those thirty minutes that she was supposed to be enjoying herself, but the teachers didn't try to bother her about being active; nor did any of her classmates (the dreadful kids found her weird, and even said it to her face, but she doesn't care). she doesn't feel safe around them, anyway, with an exception of her homeroom teacher and one boy that was in a different class and grade as her.</p><p>"hey, hannah, i'm sorry i'm late." said tim, as he walked over to where she was sitting and stood in place. all hannah did was look up at him, taking her hand away from her mouth after a moment of silence went by.<br/>"miss cunningham was upset with the class for being mean to the substitute yesterday, and only let the good kids come out after lecturing us. but i brought the binder!" he exclaimed with a toothy grin, holding up said binder that was filled with pokemon cards.<br/>she brightened up about this. she doesn't entirely understand the game or has an interest, but some designs of the characters have grown attached to her. tim got on his knees besides her, giving her space since he assumed today wasn't a good day for being close and friendly. he checked to make sure there wasn't an ant pile or other bug in the space between them before he set the binder down. he knew she had a thing for insects, and she'd get pretty upset if he hurt or killed one (he has learn this from experience).<br/>"a lot," muttered hannah as she watched tim open the binder and flip the pages to the section of pokemon that resembled bugs the most. he looked up at her and nodded.</p><p>"i've been collecting these for a couple years now, some are duplicates, as you can see with ninjask. here, you can go through and pick out one you want," he offered, allowing her to go ahead and scroll through her options. she looked at him for a brief second then looked besides her, picking up her pen and clicking it. tim smiled, knowing this meant she either was feeling better or was happy, in general.<br/>it didn't take long for hannah to eye a certain pokemon of her taste, shaking her head no at any other option tim suggested. she had her heart set on the one that gave off big ol' spider vibes.<br/>"spinarak?" she asked, not sure if she was pronouncing it right. "yes! that's right. so spinarak, then? here- keep it in your shirt so you don't lose it, okay?" he took out the card and handed it to her, to which she nodded and stretched her legs out; she put the card in her front pocket of the over-sized flannel, and began to click her pen a few more times again. this made him laugh a bit, then he leaned back against the hot bars behind him.</p><p>they spent the rest of recess going through the pokemon, some hannah pointed at were psychic types that she was curious about, but half-way through tim explaining, she'd stop him by turning to more cards. he doesn't complain or get upset about it, though, he rolls with it and talks whenever she wants him to. as their teachers began calling for them, tim closes the binder and got back on his feet, holding it at his side.<br/>"well, we should get over to our classes now. same spot tomorrow, if my class gets to come out here?" he asked, wanting to make sure she'd be fine with it. she stood up after him and only nodded at his question. tim smiled and proceeded to walk with her towards the table their teachers usually sat at as the kids played, saying bye to each other when they had to split up into their class lines and head towards the building's double doors.<br/>tomorrow hannah, tim hopes, will want to take her turn at their almost daily share session, even if it's always the same thing she talks about during recess.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. bread.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>nora, zoey, and emma. sfw.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>this is it. this is the day that the pastries of beanie's would be the best that they've ever been. see, in hatchetfield, every resident that visits or has visited the musical cafe found their sweets quite... terrible. some customers gag after eating, some customers spit it out, and some customers wash the taste out quickly with their coffee - which was also shit, yet tolerable.</p><p>for the past few months, nora has gone through many recipes in books left behind by her grandmother or recipes that pop up on google to try and see if she could accomplish the change of negative reactions towards the desserts.<br/>of course, after each and every batch, she makes her co-workers do a taste test; which is always the downside of zoey and emma's morning, when they do have a shift in those early hours.</p><p>"listen, nora, i don't think i want to try out anything today. exams kicked my ass this week and i feel like garbage," excused emma, who was tiredly wiping down tables before they open within an hour. "i think eating that might make me more sick, no offense."</p><p>"same here, kinda," zoey chimed in, as she sat at the table emma was working on and scrolled through her phone. "real tea, i'm thinking about counting my calories in a day, and wasting those numbers on some crummy pastry we serve isn't worth it."</p><p>nora kept her focus on glazing the sweets that were fresh from the oven, making sure there was an even amount on the top. she watched the liquid drip down the side and onto the pan. "well, i don't care. i need to make sure they aren't too horrid for our customers, and you guys know i have issues with tasting flavors 'n shit. everything is bland to me, so i need functional tongues to find out what is appropriate to serve or not." there was traces of her southern drawl, not caring if the two heard as she knew they wouldn't mention it.</p><p>she straightened her form and smiled with pride at how nice the presentation looked, though the real quiz was if it would be eaten without issue. "okay, i think they're done- come over here, guys, c'mere!" exclaimed nora, waving the two over as if she was an old mother who wanted her two kids to join her for afternoon tea.</p><p>emma and zoey groaned in protest before simply going behind the counter and stood near the happy woman, watching her put the pastries on napkins and handing them over. they accepted and gave each other the "good luck" expression after hesitantly biting into the warm food. they were bracing themselves as they chewed their bite, a minute passing before they both looked down at the sugary bread.</p><p>"huh," emma swallowed so she could talk, "it... actually isn't that bad. i mean, it could be better, but i haven't thrown up my guts! that's a plus!" she said, deciding to finish the treat as she only ate an apple for breakfast before rushing to work. zoey nodded in agreement. "i'm gonna put some aside for my friends, they would tots enjoy the fact it doesn't taste like flour, or straight up burnt!"</p><p>nora fixed her visor, trying to hide an embarrassed blush from the compliments. "at least i know i'm on the right track, then. but you better pay for half the pastries, zoey, or make a few of your friends pay up so i can keep making them." she said and picked the tray up, going over to the display so she could pop them in. the young theatre major only made a noise of acknowledgment, continuing to eat as she texted her friends to stop by later in the day.</p><p>so, today really was the day. luckily, when the ccpr technical group dropped by to pick up their usual orders, emma managed to convince them to buy the improved breads - which got positive responses from bill and charlotte, and approving nods from paul and ted. this helped nora gain a bit more confidence in her baking, and it even helped her be a happier boss than usual (thank god for emma).</p><p>whenever their shifts were coming to an end and it was closing time, nora made a plan to try and get to the store to pick up more supplies for different snack options. the hope of being a successful baker stayed with her, no matter the amount of errors in the end products, as one should do if they are passionate enough.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. bubble.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>paulkins. sfw.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"you look like a child." paul was looking up from a book he started on the first day of spring, earning an eye roll from his partner after his remark, who was holding a pink-tinted bottle meant for kids.<br/>"maybe i just wanted to blow bubbles with my dogs. can't believe i'm being attacked right now, especially by my own boyfriend," said emma, as she went to the backdoor. she called for their two dogs, nuttie and chai, and led them outside.</p><p>paul pressed his bookmark in his novel and set it aside, and stood up to go over to the door to watch them. their backyard wasn't very big, due to their neighborhood and the fence that came with the house, but perfect for maintaining a small rose garden.<br/>she dunked the handle a few times in the soap-y water and called nuttie in order to get her attention, then blew out weak and slow paced bubbles. the golden retriever watched them with curiosity and tried to sniff at one that floated near her nose, though it popped when it made contact with her. she wagged her tail afterwards, this making emma smile.</p><p>emma didn't hesitate to create another batch, nuttie beginning to jump up at the somewhat bigger bubbles and even bit at a few. when she noticed some were resting on the blades of grass, she pawed at the ground and sniffed around for more. on the other hand, chai felt threatened from the bubbles, and barked at the few that went near him - well, more like a yip, due to being a small chihuahua.</p><p>"i don't think he quite gets the idea," said paul, as he stepped onto the porch and closed the door behind him so no bugs got in. he walked over to emma, who nodded in agreement. "he acts like that one youtuber's dog; never knows where he is or what is going on," she said then looked up at him. she leaned against him and offered the bubble bottle and handle.</p><p>"will you blow some, for me? i promise i won't laugh at how you look like a seven-year-old when you do," she asked in a begging tone, pouting a bit to help convince the man to take charge of bubble-duty. he took the items and shook his head;<br/>"as if i'd ever look seven. you were the one that appears to be so, baby," he chuckled as he spoke the truth.</p><p>paul dipped the handle in the bottle and swished it around, taking it back out and blew a few for nuttie to chase after. she did, hopping the best she could when a sudden breeze carried them farther than before. he saved the rest to try and make the biggest bubble, going on his knees and blowing gently in the direction of chai. this poor dog began to bark again at the large bubble, then proceeded to whine and step backwards away from it, as if he was in some type of danger. when it popped, emma laughed softly.</p><p>"how pathetic. c'mon, chai, man up! it's just a wittle soap and water, it ain't gonna harm you," she picked up the small dog and held him like a baby as she cooed this. she pecked the top of his head to ensure that he was safe. nuttie darted back to see what was going on, sniffing at the ground in the spot where the threatening bubble had disappeared.<br/>paul twisted the handle back on the bottle. "maybe we should play fetch, instead, if this is too stressful for chai. doesn't that sound nice, sir?"</p><p>he asked as he scratched at his furry neck, getting an uninterested look from chai as an answer. they didn't play fetch, simply letting the two dogs roll around in the grass and chase after - or run away from - the butterflies, or the dragonflies.<br/>the couple sat in one of the chairs they had out there, holding hands and watching nuttie and chai enjoy the warm weather. this definitely was a peaceful day off work that they were hoping for.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. burn.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hannah, lex, and ethan. sfw. tw; accidental self-harm.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>lighters, she knew a lot about them. they were found everywhere she went: on the kitchen counter, on the bedroom desk, on the living room table, and on the car dashboard. she would watch the way the fire would flick out the small tool; observing the quick pace of her sister, mother, and friend's thumb as they lit their cigarettes, blunts, and bongs. it was fascinating yet frightening.</p><p>hannah, out of curiosity and built-up courage, would give lighting them a try, just to see if she can do it and help out if anyone wanted to smoke but had their hands full. in the beginning, she wasn't able to get it right, only the gas smell puffing in her face as she gave it her all. she continued to watch and focus with the best of her ability when ethan lit a cig for lex in the middle of her being stressed, ignoring what was upsetting her as she replayed the motion in her head.</p><p>the next set of attempts were successful, though the flame wasn't as tall as she saw everyone else make it, getting frustrated with it. she had to stop for a bit due to either always being around her sister or thrown under her boyfriend's care, or even both. she didn't want them knowing she was trying to learn a new thing, and most likely get babied by lex or insulted by ethan - even if he isn't serious about it.</p><p>one day, however, she got it up to the preferred height, and stared in awe at how bright and warm it was. the tip of her thumb was slightly dipped into it, the heat began to hurt but she only wanted to admire her accomplished goal for a bit longer. she did wince when it was unbearable and dropped the lighter, it clicking off as soon as she let go. she held her hands close to her chest and stared down at the device; she didn't consider the incident for much longer as she went to pick it up again, and flick it on.<br/>it was exciting, she finally did it, and was doing it again! she would grin and giggle with glee each time she went back to a lighter when no one was around, and she managed to get it on. a con to this was her skin on the tip of her thumbs would get hurt, and she would have to hide it from everyone so they didn't overwhelm her with questions and concerns. she began to reteach herself the gesture with her other fingers so if her thumb was too sore, she could use the alternatives - she had the eight, after all, excluding the thumbs.</p><p>the burning soon didn't bother hannah after a while, she doesn't acknowledge the wounds and blisters that form on her fingers unless she needed to keep her hands balled into fists, or hidden from her sister. she kept up with what she was doing for another month or two, until an unfortunate event happened.<br/>she was sitting near ethan's car as the older two went to the park to score some weed, messing with one of his lighters that had a skull printed on it. so edgy. she positioned herself in a way that her legs were crisscrossed, her hands in the open space and resting against a patch of grass. there was a dandelion leaning near and was close to dipping itself into the flame, to which she stared for a split moment then tilted the lighter. it caught on fire in some odd amount of seconds.<br/>hannah didn't register what she did before quickly jumping away from the lit dandelion, it slowly lighting the blades of grass surrounding it, which caused her to panic. luckily, lex and ethan were walking back over, and she heard a gasp from one of them. "hannah, what the fuck!" she ran over then stomped her run-down boots against the fire to prevent it from spreading farther as fast as she could. lex whipped her head up to look at her younger sister, not caring that her hair fell in front of her face.</p><p>"why are you playing with fire? that shit is dangerous!" she crouched down and snatched the lighter from her, earning a scared squeak from hannah. she didn't like it when lex got mad at her, she never liked it when she is upset.<br/>"lex, hey, calm down- she prolly didn't mean to," said ethan, as he put a hand on her shoulder to relax her. "she ain't hurt and that's what matters, right?" he reassured her to look at the brighter side.</p><p>"yeah, but how'd she know how to light the stupid thing? a child isn't supposed to be able to," she said as if it was shocking and looked at him. hannah raised a brow at her response. ethan only shrugged and took his lighter from her, slipping it in his pocket; "let's jus' get outta here before the cops on patrol find us, we don't want any trouble now that we have pot in our hands."<br/>lex gave her boyfriend a nod and helped hannah up on her feet, getting her in the backseat. she thought about how she could have done that without her sister's help, but didn't say anything since it will upset lex more. she flinched from the car door slamming then slumped back against her seat. maybe she shouldn't have learned a new skill that may have a benefit towards them and her mom; stick with what she likes and does already, avoid conflict altogether.</p><p>she would keep note of this night for the future, and from this moment on, hannah never touched a lighter again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. candle.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>paulkins. nsfw. //did not proofread pls don't come @ me</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>taking a bath at four in the morning on her day off was something she never thought she'd need up until now. the water temperature still felt warm against her skin, and the lavender-scented bubbles tickled at her nose as she lied there. small lit candles patterned the ledges of the tub, a few planted on the sink near the faucet, making it dim and sleepy in the bathroom. of course, you can't have a bath without a small glass of wine - which she did not have, so she resorted to an alternative: grape juice.<br/>same thing, really, one just doesn't have alcohol.</p><p>around this time, paul would be up and need to get ready for work that requires him to check-in at six; disturbing emma's peace as he tiredly entered their bathroom, turning on the lights. "oh, there you are," he was looking in her general direction but made no effort to keep his eyes on her. "you know you don't have work today, babe."<br/>"i do know, i wanted to relax and soak this fine morning before heading to class later tonight. but here you are," replied emma, her eyes closed as she spoke. well, this is difficult, he liked taking showers in the morning as part of his routine, and he really didn't enjoy skipping out on a part of his schedule. she sat up from her previous position then leaned an elbow on the ledge of the tub. "wanna join?"</p><p>"have you seen me? we won't be able to fit comfortably," denied paul, as he grabbed his toothbrush to avoid conversation. he can admit later he wanted to and would've liked to, but maybe when he didn't have to leave soon. "besides, this is you time." "it won't hurt you! we can sit up and talk about life, or some shit," she waved a hand dismissively at her weak offer. paul didn't react, too keen on getting his teeth brushed and hair fixed before he had to throw on his usual uniform. when he did, he turned to look at emma again after hearing the water swish around; not surprised the woman stood up completely with her arms crossed.</p><p>"you're no fun at this hour. i know your routine, and being clean is one of them. can't you instead sit in the tub rather stand for a shower for... ten minutes, at least?" he didn't like disappointing her and that was obvious, since it did not take long for him to strip of his pajamas and step into the lukewarm, bubbly water. it was peaceful, sitting there and letting his mind think of random wonders. perhaps it would have been more cozy without emma, considering his legs have to be squished close to his frame, but it works. emma leaned against him and rested her head on his shoulder.<br/>"see? very nice and low-energy, and we even get some time together. you don't have anything to do after work, right?"<br/>"i have a few meetings to attend, not sure how long they are," he said and moved a hand under the water, trying to find hers to hold.<br/>"ugh, i don't get to see you before dealing with my crackhead of a biology professor," she complained and nuzzled her face into his neck.</p><p>this happens a lot, all their time in the day is stolen thanks to either work or college, and they know that this won't last forever. after emma graduates, she can get a proper job she's been wanting to do since she was a teen... grow pot. paul doesn't mind this, it could bring in extra money and bond time, though that requires them to find a home with good land for a farm. he isn't ready to settle down out of hatchetfield quite yet.<br/>paul ran a thumb against her hand as they sat there. "well, i don't leave until some time after five," he reminded then shifted a gaze down at her. "i can get ready then sit in here while you finish up your bath."<br/>"wow, what a gentleman you are, sir," she teased but moved off him as an indication for him to do that. he struggled when trying to get out but managed, grabbing a towel as he walked out. damn, that was hers. oh well. emma blew out the candles on the tun ledge and repeated his action, leaving the bathroom dripping wet to go harass him with a hug. all she received was the same towel thrown over her head.</p><p>"this is an apartment, crazy, i wouldn't mind you getting the floor wet if this was a house and no strict landlords owned it," he said as he watched her not give any effort on removing the towel off of her. "getting water on the floor sucks."<br/>"didn't you just do that in the bathroom? you didn't even throw a rag on the wet spot!" emma tugged it off her and lazily dried herself to the point where she wasn't excessively dripping all over the place. he hushed her in what she thought was a fun, playful way, but it was nearing four thirty in the morning and they had neighbors. well, emma didn't care much for them as those loons were rude to her for no reason. paul just had no desire to get in trouble, he's not a bad guy and doesn't want that ruined for him after arguing about a wet floor.<br/>"at least it was in the bathroom and quiet, unlike you," said paul, proceeding to stick his tongue out. emma gasped in offense and slapped his arm gently; "listen, man, i can show you who's louder and we both know it's you."<br/>"oh, really? that's funny, emma, honestly," he took the towel from her and dropped it om the floor so he could wipe up the mess with his foot, following the trail to the restroom. emma followed, not giving up. "yes, i can! i'll prove it to you before you leave, and all day you have to think about how you were wrong. try me, bitch," she said the last part as a joke but was ready for such a challenge.</p><p>paul turned to her after tossing the towel in a hamper, an eyebrow raised and a smirk plastered on his dumb face. ah, he knows what he is getting himself into. she watched him stroll to their bed and sit down, not saying anything to her even as she went over to stand in front of him. fortunately, they were able to make almost perfect eye contact, an advantage for her whenever he sat down on the bed or other places. she gently cupped his face with her hands and pressed a soft kiss against him, eyes closing in the process. she wanted it to be light and soft for the moment, and felt him melt into the kiss and hold onto her biceps.<br/>under a minute, he already forgot what could possibly happen in the next few seconds thanks to enjoying the kiss; an easy trick for her to do whenever she wanted to distract him, he really does love affection. it was nice to her, as well, constantly able to appreciate one another and somehow have enough energy to be all lovey-dovey. especially at ungodly hours, those random moments of intimacy was special to the two. their kiss grew more passionate as she ran her hands from his cheeks to his shoulders, not too long after down his chest.</p><p>he let out a sigh when he felt her pull away and go on to plant small pecks against his neck, a smile tugged at his mouth from the feeling. she wouldn't make any marks, knowing ted would make fun of him a work if he couldn't cover them. she decided to skip this part - it isn't like he won't get up without them. it was... sort of easy to excite paul, learning from a few previous experiences with him. say a few flirty things, get undressed, kiss a little then there, he's ready to go. the same can't be said for emma, but there are those small things he can do that make her react fast. she began to trail the wonderful kisses down his front in a messy way, needing to go on her knees after reaching a certain spot, and felt him run a hand through her hair to play with it.<br/>as expected, paul was erect. this further proved he certainly cannot help him being turned on when it was appropriate, and she would have to bully him later about it.</p><p>for now, though, she focused on putting kisses on his inner thighs to try and get him to, well, beg. it wouldn't work, already giving up and shifted her lips to his shaft to pepper with light pecks, earning a relieved exhale from him. she moved to the tip of his member and gave it one, two, three tongue twirls. she observed that the smallest of actions lead to the biggest responses over the course of their relationship, finding it neat. she dragged her tongue in a repeating up-and-down pattern against him before taking a section into her mouth. he shivered at the warmth and patiently waited for her to do more, his noises she had claimed to be loud yet to come out, meaning he was the winner so far. but don't think that he wasn't holding any sort of moan in that would fuel emma's power. as this was a challenge, emma is not ready to give up anytime soon; she grabbed the part of him that isn't resting her mouth to jerk it off. she had went to fondle his pair with her unoccupied hand, but the negative sound that came from him caused her to take it away.<br/>yikes, she forgot there are certain places he didn't liked to be touched at, sexual or not. this discouraged her for a brief beat out of feeling bad, yet, she went back to what she was doing without another thought about it.</p><p>things were going right for her once she fit his full length in her mouth, a bit down her throat - which thankfully didn't hurt - and he was becoming noisy with his whimpering. she was going to win this and prove paul was wrong, and have him think about what they did for an entire day, especially during a boring meeting! sure, this could mess up his performance with work, however it was tuesday and there was three other days that week to fix any mistakes. she was too comfortable on that high pedestal she was sitting on because as soon as she tried to finish, she heard a gasp of shock.<br/>"holy shit, emma, i need to leave!" he gently pushed her off him and got up in a panic to get dressed quickly. she sat there feeling a bit lost at the sudden rush, turning her head to look at the digital clock on the nightstand. it was 5:46, he's running late on dipping from the apartment and driving the fifteen minutes to the office. emma finally let out a chuckle when she processed it, and watched him struggle to button up his shirt.</p><p>"guess i lose by default of the break away," she shrugged without much care then stood on her feet. her statement earned her a threatening point from paul. "oh no, you can't just say that and NOT finish this later. for now, we are on pause and it is a tie. today is going to be awful," he said as he picked a tie from the dresser and put it on in one try without screwing up. she rolled her eyes at this with a small grin, plopping down on the bed and lying back against the pillows. "have fun with that frustration today, babe, try not to let your boss see it."<br/>"piss off, my job can kick these feelings off my mind during my shift. i seriously have to go now, though, i love you." he went to the bed side and leaned down to kiss her forehead. "we are never doing this again on workdays, or at least near this time."<br/>"yada, yada, yada- hurry on out, and don't forget to eat something when you get there! i love you, doofus," she dismissed what he said and flipped on her stomach, holding one of his pillows. paul said goodbye again as he left their bedroom, shuffling footsteps descended and the sound of the door opening and closing was heard. emma began to snicker to herself.</p><p>well, now what? she has the entire day alone and won't get to see paul before class. she lied there in thought on things she could possibly do now she had time, nothing coming to mind. she smacked her lips then made a disgusted face. "brush my teeth, that's what i'll do," she mumbled and rolled out of bed, carrying herself to the bathroom. she had forgot to blow out the few candles there and drain the tub, doing that first since there wasn't a reason for them to still be there, then suddenly got an idea on what she'll occupy herself with.<br/>but that's a story for another day.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. cat.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>charlotte and sam. sfw. tw; mentions of animal death.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"sam, while you go cute the grass, please try to avoid the patch of flowers near the fence," called charlotte from the kitchen. there was a noise of acknowledgement heard from her husband, then the sound of the backdoor sliding shut. today was a calm saturday afternoon, where the two were lucked out of plans to do outside of the house. however, this was good for them so they can get chores out of the way; for example, mowing the backyard. the grass has grown a bit too tall for charlotte's liking, and she was too busy with cleaning the interior of their house to deal with the grass. thankfully, sam agreed to it being way too long and decided to do the job himself.</p><p>she looked out the window from the kitchen for a moment to watch her husband start up the lawnmower, proceeding to scan for one of her outdoor cats: mistoffelees. to note, she had a few more cats in the bunch, a nice split between indoor - lyon, muffin, and smokey - and outdoor - fisher, mistoffelees, and joxter. she was very fond of all six of her kids, and if she could, she'd own at least two more; sam would very much impose to such an idea. he didn't even like cats, favoring dogs more for their strong bodies and intelligent brains, which was a common disagreement the couple had. besides that, sam let her have her pets but told her she had to pay for all their needs, which charlotte was completely fine with. she spotted mistoffelees stretching on an upside down flowerpot and smiled to herself, carrying on with what she was doing.</p><p>the lawnmower turned on, and an already tired cop began his task with cutting the rather large lawn, putting all his focus into pushing the heavy machine in (somewhat) horizontal lines. the length of what was still yet to be cut was up to his ankles, causing him to trip every now and again over his own feet and swear in annoyance. from the heat of the sun and constant jolts from the bumpy ground, his thinning patience cut down to the shortest of strings.<br/>"damn woman too weak to do this herself, could be enjoying my day off, but no. put me to work when she could've easily done it. 'try to avoid the flowers' my ass, if you want a garden so bad then build a proper spot somewhere." he grumbled under his breath. his ranting would cause him to lose his attention on the grass in front of him, and he was completely blind to the sprinting cat that crossed paths with the lawnmower.</p><p>-</p><p>"sam, where's mistoffelees? did he ever walk in?" charlotte was searching the living room that evening, trying to find her lost cat. last time she saw him was outside, though she could've sworn he was let in after sam finished the yard.<br/>"i don't know, char," he shrugged as he sat on the couch, his gaze down on his plate of spaghetti. "i found a hole in the fence that leads to the small wood behind us, he must've ran off."<br/>"oh no, we need to go find him! what if he's badly hurt, or hungry?"</p><p>"we could always wait and see if he turns up. he isn't exactly an idiot," he said then shoved the food in his mouth quick, and avoided meeting her worried eyes. charlotte only frowned at his response yet silently agreed, her cats knew how to come home if they ever ran out the front door. she just hoped mistoffelees would be back soon - to sam, the cat was still there, a few feet under the soil near where they leave their trans bins. he would never tell her that. after a few weeks of waiting for her black and white patterned boy, she lost hope, and showing her cats that she loved them increased by a couple notches.</p><p>-</p><p>it happened to him again, one of her cats unexpectedly getting in his way too late for him to slam on the breaks and prevent inconveniences. sam cringed as he slowly brought his car to a stop, parking in his usual spot at the side of the road when he only could stay home for a short amount of time. two in one month, can't he catch a break? he already had to deal with coming home to charlotte being sad all the time, and as much as he liked not hearing her talk or start conversations out the blue, it pissed him off more she got upset over an animal. yes, a pet nonetheless, but she had (now four) other cats to care for and it would hurt her wallet less since joxter was... missing. he was a fat cat, it's a wonder how he was able to run fast enough. sam shook his head and got out of his car; that doesn't matter, currently he needs to hide the evidence of joxter fast before his wife comes out to try and greet him.</p><p>-</p><p>"another one? but didn't mistoffelees just run away, too?" bill had been the only friend in the ccpr group the following day in that early morning, and charlotte needed to get this off her chest as soon as possible. "yes! it was joxter, my poor baby," her voice cracked as she said this, holding back her tears and upset nature as she had been like this for too long. she didn't want to come off as annoying. bill brought her in his arms for a hug and gave her the comfort needed, running a soothing hand up and down her back.<br/>"maybe joxter is different, lottie, he could be more clever and come back after remembering you feed him his favorite meals." he reassured with more or less false hope. he wasn't sure if the cat was smart enough to connect the dots, but he liked to personally believe himself it was true, for the sake of his crying friend.</p><p>it was a boggling situation - he knew she loved these cats as if they were her own birthed kids, so it was hard to convince her that he'd return when she viewed him as one of her youngest children. she continued to cry into his shoulder, and for a second, she took his words to heart out of pure desperation. maybe both of her missing pets just got lost, and are trying to find their way home after all. they trusted her with everything that had to do with their existence, why wouldn't they want their luxurious lives back? after another few minutes, she began to calm down, and thanked bill for letting her... ruin his shirt, once she pulled away from his embrace.<br/>he only laughed and shrugged it off, telling her he is going to go get her some water from the break room. she sat in her cubicle alone when he walked off, running a hand over her face and felt the heat coming off her skin.</p><p>they'll come back, thought charlotte. they'll return sleeping on the couch and loving all the treats they were given for simply being too cute. she would keep telling herself this for approximately eighteen days, before dropping the idea altogether and accepting they were gone. she never left fisher out on her own anymore when the two cats became a jailed memory in the back of her head.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. chest.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>doug. sfw. tw; gender dysphoria, body dysphoria.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>five alarms is the amount listed in the phone; three of them had already gone off, blared the dreadful tune that would give anyone a fright of being late. on a good day, doug would have easily shut off the first alarm, and get up without issue. today, however, that wasn't the case - they lied on their stomach, covers completely hiding them, their face shoved in a pillow. they were awake, they didn't want to be. they were feeling off, not feeling like themself, which didn't happen often. that early morning, doug's thoughts would not give them a break.</p><p>the fourth alarm buzzed, causing them to snake a hand out from under the blanket and tap the phone screen to discontinue the noise. after another minute of lying there, they shifted to their side then sat up, feeling discomfort yet empty. they had to get ready for work, which was obvious, but they really did not want to. they can't even look at their hands without the overwhelming mental attacks of the hands being "too feminine", how are they going to able to focus at work? on normal days, they would think that hands are neutral and it does not matter how they appear, but here they are.<br/>
they got themself out of bed eventually and made their way to the bathroom.</p><p>doug could feel the soreness of their upper torso, usually ignored, the reason being their a-size-too-small binder. they always wore it, sometimes even to sleep, just to keep their chest flat and away from their and everyone's eyes. it hurt, it wasn't healthy, but they were still trying to schedule a surgery in the near future. as of now, it isn't possible due to not having the funds, making them miserable. if they could and it was safe, they'd do it themself - chop the heavy stress right off and be free, be happy. sure, there were other parts that they were not too fond of, though their chest is the biggest thing to be seen and felt, to their despair.</p><p>they skipped taking a shower with the knowledge of it would cause them to feel worse if they had to brush against their lady-like curves and dips while washing up (in the dark, of course). doug changed out of their jumper and pajama pants into their old binder and uniform, completely avoided looking at their nude body as they did. they wanted to stay home, stay away from the public filled with people that don't have the knowledge of their identity, or the people that purposely used the incorrect words. they want to punch the ones that intentionally get them to feel like shit, but that won't fix anything, plus it is assault. maybe one day they could teach them a fact or two about respect.</p><p>they stared in the mirror as they brushed their teeth lazily, observing the heavy eye bags under their eyes and dead expression they were projecting. hopefully today it isn't cloudy, they'd like to hide the fact they are angry as fuck with their person. they moved on to their hair, combing it out quick and off their shoulders; they usually loved the length, loved being able to mess with it and let their friends play with it, or put it in messy styles. it was not much of a surprise that they wished to take scissors to it, holding back the impulse as they'd regret it and ruin their progress on accepting how they look. they only have to get through today, then hopefully tomorrow would be easier, or maybe the day after. they want the ridiculous emotions to be over fast.</p><p>doug hated the idea of coming off as weak, especially if it is from disliking their appearance, they aren't like that! they were known for being cool, being confident, being intimidating; a stupid idea planted in their mind that they are presenting as a female or male than their actual gender, despite that not being true, should not be the reason their facade shall be broken. they shoved their feet into their shoes and tied them up, glad they recognize their feet were bigger than a woman their age yet small for a man their age. it was reassuring, for a moment, until they looked back in the mirror and can still visibly see their almost hourglass body more clearly. it sucked, they never used to hyper-focus on this, they thought it was bullshit they couldn't just be happy with themself. be normal, at least, accept who they were... who they are.</p><p>and don't get them started on how they can't just remove their sex. this hatred wavered, depending on the day - sometimes, they'd be fine with what they have. other times, they rather have their packer. most of the time, they rather throw away the entire concept and ignore it. there is no sex for nonbinary, it irritated them. irritates them they had to be born with any reproductive system. it irritates them they had to be born with the imbalance in their brain that they were neither male or female. it frustrates them to the point they tend to get unreasonably anger towards small things, objects, or friends. they apologize after if it is to people that care, they'd feel bad if they didn't and they are forgiven more often than not. it's still hard to talk about what they are feeling, though, as no one else they are aware of it in the similar situation or lifestyle.</p><p>they ignored having their usual small breakfast and instead grabbed what they needed for the day, then headed out of their house. it was a rental in a little community of similar homes packed close together, small enough to be an apartment but big enough to be its own separate structure. it was nice. once doug climbed into their car and closed the door, they let out a sigh and kept their gaze out the windshield.<br/>
"today will be rough," they began to mumble under their breath. "but it will go by, and i can live again. i can do it. i have done this plenty of times. i will be okay." they fixed their cap, started their car, then began their drive to work.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. coffee.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>emma and tom. sfw.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"oh, tom! it's nice to see you, how long has it been?"</p><p>it was saturday, the time being around noon, and emma did not expect to see her brother-in-law pay a visit to the crappy coffee shop. tom gave her a smile and shoved his hands into his pockets. "ah, a few weeks? i haven't been able to come and stop by, being a teacher again 'n all," he laughed a bit and looked up at the menu that was hanging on the wall. he usually ordered the same thing, so there was really no point to check and see what he wanted. he asked for his regular, to which emma nodded and told him the total before going ahead with making it.</p><p>"you came in at the right time, i was just about to take my lunch break," she said after handing him his drink near the pick-up section of the counter. "are you able to stay and chat for a bit with me?"<br/>"yeah, grace is babysitting while i run errands today. let me go grab a table for us," said tom, as he took his drink and went to go sit down. the cafe wasn't too big and there definitely wasn't enough tables for more than six groups to hang out, though luckily it has only been customers visiting to get a to-go order.</p><p>emma came over to where he was seated after telling nora she was taking a break, sitting across from him and set her lunchbox on the table. tom looked down at it and chuckled slightly; "paw patrol? really, em?"<br/>"hey, it's metal and serves the purpose of holding my food! sure, it was ten dollars and i could've easily spent less at a dollar store, but still!" she playfully argued her reasoning before unlatching it, pulling out her sandwich, apple, and mini water bottle.</p><p>"well, besides that, what's been going on?" he asked and drank some of his coffee, which was just black decaf with a load of sugar packed into it. emma took a bit of her sandwich when he asked, needing to chew a bit before properly responding.<br/>"i'm almost done with community college, and once i get my degree and enough money, i'm moving away. not sure where, that hasn't been decided, but i'll find a place. what about you?"</p><p>"good luck with that. as i mentioned, i was able to get back into teaching but went to sycamore high instead. they didn't have a shop originally, but since i was able to help fund some of the class, it's a new thing for kids interested in it, or just need an easy a. some of the kids are fine, but god damn, lotta them are... shitheads." emma snickered when he whispered the insult, knowing how he felt.</p><p>"i bet! teens nowadays act like they know everything. luckily most of the ones that come into here are those quiet, nice, socially awkward teens. other than those, we get occasional pricks that try stealing, or not paying their full bill."<br/>tom shook his head at what she said. "i feel bad for the good kids, they get grouped into the consequences and as much as i don't like causing the whole class to be in trouble when a few dummies act up, i still do. hopefully they aren't horrible adults, that'd be bad."</p><p>"god, don't even mention it," she said once she finished, wiping her hands off on her apron. she was lowkey thinking about her co-workers that were in high school and how obnoxious they are. thank goodness she didn't have to see them often due to scheduling and them being minors, their hours having a set limit due to that reason.<br/>they talked for a little while longer until emma was done and had to get back on the clock.</p><p>"it was nice seeing you again, tom! please let me know if there's ever a chance i can come over and hangout with you and tim!" smiled emma, as she turned to go back around the counter. tom gave her a nod and put a thumbs up. "sure, you can also invite pat if we find a date."<br/>"paul-"<br/>"yeah, whatever. bye, emma," he cut her off before walking out the door, the bell ringing. she put her hands on the counter still smiling, happy that her and tom have been reconnecting lately after the incident some odd number of years ago. sure, he can be an asshole, but he is a sweet man she hoped was doing much better than before.</p><p>emma got back to work when a group of teens came in, and unfortunately for her, she recognized this bunch to be the chaotic crew... let's hope she doesn't have to beat some ass today.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. crime.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>rob and sam. sfw, mentions of previous affairs. //acab :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>every day is the same. a repeating choreograph number that goes no where, if you will. whether the shift was from six in the morning to six at night, or vice versa, rob listens to his co-worker discuss two things: his sensitive wife, or his sensual side women. being a friend, he did not mind an occasional rant so he can get his thoughts cleared up; but all he seems to do it target charlotte as the main problem, and talk badly of her and her character in general. he was not very comfortable hearing about the random females, sometimes younger than charlotte herself, he gets with quite often. he does not try to question him, until today.</p><p>the duo was driving back to the station with a suspect in the backseat, who was thought to be one of the people to be robbing multiple stores around hatchetfield.<br/>"yeah, i think zoey has to be the one. she's feisty, ya'know? a challenge, always wanting something new yet keeps the activity the same," said sam, as he smirked with pride. he sat in the passenger seat, scrolling through his phone that might have been facebook or a similar app. rob's disgust was thankfully masked behind his sunglasses, but he heard the one in the back scoff quietly in a similar reaction.<br/>it was not unknown to the citizens of the town that officer sam messed around while being a married man; it's easier for him to get what he wants for he does not wear his ring anymore, all oblivious girls under the impression a man in uniform is genuinely interested in them.</p><p>"how old is zoey again?" asked rob, as he kept his eyes on the road, and slowly stopped at a red light. he had to do the math.<br/>"she's in her twenties. twenty-one, i think, perfect age for a nice body and lots of fun," he replied back and clicked his phone screen off, most likely hiding what he was doing. the numbers were found, and he began to question his co-worker's morals greatly.<br/>"sam... you're forty. think about it, you can be her father," he said after a few months of silence ticked by. the person in their custody made a gag noise, to which sam told them to shut up and looked at him.<br/>"so? she's legal and doesn't care. ya got a stick up your ass or something? you've heard me talk about zoey plenty of times," he was getting irritated, it is easy to tell. he has some anger issues that both rob and doug have told him he needs to deal with by going to a therapist, but he doesn't believe in that. in his world, therapists are nothing but con artists that give flimsy advice and create sickly pill addictions.</p><p>"well, it's wrong. you have a wife, who only has a five-year age gap with you, yet you choose to get with young adults. i mean- YOUNG adults. if you don't like charlotte, why not get a divorce already?"<br/>sam groaned at his question, as if he told him more than enough times why he hasn't done so - hint, he never did. "the bitch won't let go! she's like a leech, constantly contacting me and trying to get me to go places. god, i've tried encouraging the idea, but all she does is whine and whine and whine. it pisses me off! she even said i should pay for most of the fee since i "work in a higher paying job". she's psychotic, man," he said with pure hate, burning into rob's head like venom as he processed it. he tried to think of how it actually went down, and if charlotte really did react in a selfish way. from what he can remember, doug has talked to her about certain topics before, this divorce being one of them; they told him charlotte reacted like how anyone would if their spouse said they were splitting, she cried. however she agreed, knowing the relationship didn't make either of them happy like in the past, and did suggest him paying for the majority due to only having an office job. hell, in a matter of seconds, he could tell he was exaggerating.</p><p>"listen," started rob with a sigh. "i'm not going to get involved in your life, but you need to cut the shit. you're the one that has been cheating for, what, four years now? and she's slipped up and slept with a friend once, and you call her a slut time and time again? that's fucked. can't you see she has tried to fix your pathetic marriage? it's the only reason why she wants you to go with her to the councilor, she had hope. but after all this crap you've pulled i can't ever imagine how she dealt with it for so long. sam, just get the damn divorce papers and leave the woman so both of you stop feeling miserable." he didn't mean to attack him like that, but he was exhausted.<br/>sam's skull is thick, and he probably won't listen to him, despite being his closest friend. by the time he finished his quick call-out, they were pulling into the station.</p><p>sam stayed silent, no other response than his aggravated expression, and rob found that good enough. he left the driver's side of the car then opened the backseat door, pulling the suspect out. they walked together inside the building and as they did, the person glanced back to see if sam would follow, which he didn't - he stood by the car, glaring. they looked at the one with his hand on their back and kept them in front of him.<br/>"he screwed my mom once," they commented when they entered through the doors, a confused noise from rob earned. "he's a sicko, i feel bad for his wife." they added, the conversation not carrying on due to rob not wanting to pick it up. he let off some steam and had no desire to continue hitting the same target.</p><p>he hoped the rest of 2018 for sam and charlotte involved spending time to file out the legal documents needed to break apart their broken bond.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. crush.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>charlatte. sfw.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>emma set down the phone with an excited slam, bouncing on her feet as she went to the counter to make the four drinks requested by the caller. her happy vibes were strong enough for zoey to look away from what she was doing and question the usually crabby barista. "what's got you in such a mood?" she asked, an offended look on her face when emma nudged passed her to grab the whip cream bottle from her. how rude! she was just about to use that for this kid's hot chocolate.<br/>"can't i just be in a good mood? by the way, tell nora i'm taking a delivery to the office building a couple blocks away." she said while swirling the sweetener on top of a different hot chocolate drink, then handed the can back to zoey. the younger one rolled her eyes and finished the order she had.</p><p>"sorry, but i have a few other lovely customers i need to take before doing your personal deeds." she put emphasis on the positive adjective since she knew well that they were listening to their conversation. it never gets loud in beanie's, it's easy to eavesdrop. when emma finished up the three other drinks - chai iced tea without sugar, black coffee without cream or sugar, and iced caramel frappe without the cream topping - she hesitantly pushed open the employee's only door, seeing nora at a table reviewing over god knows what. she couldn't identify what the scribbles on the messy piles of papers said, so she ignored it.<br/>"uhm, nora? i need to go make a delivery, so i'll be back in twenty minutes."<br/>"where to?" her boss asked as soon as she was told what was happening, a siren going off in her head from this.<br/>"the ccpr office, ma'am," replied emma, as she hoped she wouldn't get nagged at. nora shot a look up at her for a brief moment then returned to looking at her files.<br/>"i know you have a thing for my sister that works there, so you better only take twenty minutes. as soon as you get there, drop off the order off and come back, yes?" ah, so she was already in a bad mood, emma could pick this up due to the sudden rise in her accent. it's weird how she grew up with her sister yet their voices sound nothing alike, not at all.<br/>she gave nora a confident nod to prove she would keep her word then left the room, thinking in the back of her head she'd most definitely go against the promise.</p><p>in town, it was rather peaceful to her today, she walked faster than she does down the sidewalk with the cup-holder in her hands. she was careful not to be too jumpy with her steps, knowing the drinks would spill out every once in a while from the small holes in the lids, but she couldn't contain her joyful persona. she feels like she was in high school again; head over heels for someone and gets butterflies in her stomach just thinking about them. to be fair, she liked it, she liked the feeling of innocent attraction and the thought of one day being with who she is hooked onto. comparing it to a teen love story filmed and put onto netflix, it's relatively on the same page, her being the main character and her crush is in a failing relationship.<br/>from her knowledge, however, that relationship will be over in a matter of months thanks to the divorce process. she wouldn't convince herself to make any instant moves, of course, she knows better than that. she is patient.</p><p>entering the main doors of the ccpr building, emma felt her heart beating fast, a wave of nervousness crashing into her when heading to the front desk. melissa, the girl behind the desk playing with her cat charm on her bracelet while reading her emails, did not take notice to her until she cleared her throat.<br/>"oh, i'm sorry, good morning! emma, is it? are you here for something?" she asked after jumping from surprise a bit in her seat, an awkward laugh ending her sentence. emma liked her, a dependent worker for her company and a supportive mutual from the sidelines.<br/>"yes, actually, a delivery was called in." she replied, smiling at her soft laughter and lifted the tray into her point of view. the intern took a quick glance at the cups, noticing the nicknames: lottie-cat, borat nerd, mister no-fun-flavor, and mamma mia!. she raised a brow in curiosity when noticing a small heart that replaced the dot above the 'i' in lottie - what is this, a fifth grade class celebrating valentine's day?<br/>she told her she's allowed to take the elevator to the third floor, though she was sure she memorized that at this point, considering emma had walked off in the middle of her instructing where the tech rooms were.</p><p>emma still had a tight feeling in her chest, watching the floor number click up to where she needed to go to distract herself from it, and let out a sigh. be cool, you're cool, don't worry about making a fool of yourself, she thought as she almost ran into an unknown worker that tried to get on the elevator. she struggled with a quick apology then sped off away from the situation to one of the rooms she knew the group worked in. upon entering, she was greeted by mister no-fun-flavor; according to the cup on the tray, at least, that's who it was.<br/>"you got here earlier than expected," said paul, as he took whichever drink was his and took a sip. he smiled, it wasn't that bad.<br/>"yeah, well, you know- busy at the shop, had to be quick." she said and went to the cubical where borat nerd was sitting at. they exchanged nods as she set his tea down on his coaster and turned to paul, beginning to ask where mamma mia! and lottie-cat were. they aren't in their seats, as she could clearly see, so might as well ask. paul pointed over at his boss' room; "had to talk to him, you might not see them today." he informed without much thought, this made emma's smile twitch in disappointment.</p><p>"oh, then i'll just leave their stuff on their desks." she cleared her throat and did so, hearing a soft snort from behind her, no doubt that it had came from ted.<br/>"did'ja have your hopes up to see the cute lil lady? huh, emma, did'ja?" he teased while sipping his tea, feeling the glare burn the back of his head. he refused to turn back to look at her, it'll only make him laugh.<br/>"piss off, i wanted to see everyone, not just her." that was a blunt lie and ted knew it, emma not sure why she attempted with it, but no more banter was tossed at each other when mister davidson's door opened. walking out were the two friends missing from the group moments before, and they said some thank you's to him for something she didn't know nor care for all that much. it didn't take long for them to see her and wave.</p><p>"thank you for bringing us our order, we would have stopped by but this morning has been rough," said bill, as he sat back down at his desk and turned his swivel chair to keep facing the barista. she only did a hand gesture to dismiss his statement; "it's no problem, i enjoy getting a short break from my co-workers. they stress me out." she laughed a bit before looking at charlotte, who sat down in her chair, as well, then grabbed her black purse that had been stored under her desk. she took out her small wallet, the printed design being paw marks scattered in an unorganized pattern, and gave emma the money to pay for everyone.<br/>"ten forty-six, right? including an eight dollar tip for bringing it here." she said aloud so she didn't have to count the money herself. she accepted the total payment but declined the tip. "you don't have to tip me, char! i came here because i just so happened to be free," said emma, as she put the five-dollar bill and three singles down.</p><p>charlotte immediately put her hand on top of emma's to stop it from moving away, and looked at her dead in the eye with a motherly stare. she didn't expect the physical contact, causing her eyes to widen and her heart to skip a beat. god, she's absolutely pathetic. she wished the other was unable to catch her face becoming flushed as they held the gaze.<br/>charlotte nodded her head once. "take the tip and keep it for yourself, emma. don't tell me what i don't have to do with my money, either. you need it more than i, given you are a college student." she said, and despite the sweetness in her tone emma adored ever so much, she was a bit frightened by the reveal of her serious nature.<br/>"uh, er, yeah! yeah, college, right- sorry, i'll uh, thank you." she waited for her to take her hand away in order to shove the two sets of dollars in different pockets - one in her apron and the other in her shorts. she felt... uncool for a moment after this, but seeing charlotte brighten back up with her toothy grin made her forget what happened.</p><p>she said her goodbyes once a few conversations were shared, the whole "be back in twenty minutes" slipping her mind, and she went to leave; however, ted insisted on walking her out, to which she had to accept so she didn't come up to his level of asshole in front of everyone (charlotte, mainly). they walked to the elevator, thinking he'd leave after that, but didn't.<br/>"okay, what's your deal? if you're going to assault me and believe you'll get away with it, i have pepper spray and close connections to the cops here in town," said emma, as she pointed a finger at the taller man.<br/>"relax, i wouldn't think about nor consider getting with you," replied ted, apparently finding it shocking she'd say such a thing. "i just wanted to help you out a bit when it comes to charlotte."<br/>"no no, i do not need advice from a sleaze-ball, i'm quite content with where i am." she pressed the first floor button then crossed her arms, turning her head away. yes, it's unfortunate that, out of everyone, ted has to be the one in the group to pick up the cues of her crush on the lady. it's a constant tease between them, either at her work or his, it didn't matter - it bothered emma all the same.</p><p>ted patted her shoulder, smiling. "yeah, totally okay with only seeing her once every other day and know the bare minimum about her. listen, i've heard her talk about seeing this new movie that comes out next week, but she doesn't want to go alone and won't go at all if none of our friends are available. that's where you come in and save the day by taking her out! you're off on wednesdays, i noticed that, and the film comes out then at the theater downtown. her shifts end at around three that same day, so you better be here when the time comes!" he explained all this on the way down and as emma stepped out of the elevator.<br/>"i'll go ahead and tell her you're interested." he clicked his tongue while doing finger guns, the doors closing once again.</p><p>"wait, what? ted, you fucking-" they were shut before she could get them to stop, and tell ted not to. emma blinked to process his words, then began to feel the heat come off her cheeks. oh god, she (sort of) had a date with charlotte next week, and she didn't even consent to it. she isn't complaining, no, not entirely - she would've been fine with being the one to bring it up to her, if she had knowledge of this. she only sighed and said goodbye to a smirking melissa, hoping to god she didn't pick up what their conversation was (she did, they were loud), then left the building.<br/>i better tell nora i won't be able to take dropped shifts next week, she thought to herself while on her way to return to the coffee shop.</p><p>emma couldn't stop smiling for the remainder of the day.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. death.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tom/jane and tim. sfw. tw; character death, car accident. //half assed, sorry for that</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>it all happened so fast.<br/>one minute, it's a cold christmas eve night, light laughter and tired yawns heard; another minute, a deafening ring and shrieking cries filled the space.<br/>tom didn't know what had happened. he ached all over, his eyes were blurred. he couldn't see - what he could make out was a limp figure next to him. some shattered glass here and there, some bright flashes of color, and some people running over to where he was.<br/>he felt like he was drenched in something warm, it smelt of iron, it was familiar. he was woozy. he passed out shortly after the car door was ripped open.</p><p>-</p><p>"we don't know if she is going to make it, mister houston. the damage is too critical," informed the doctor, as they walked with tom to the current room jane was in.<br/>it was a few hours after the crash, tom slept through that time to regain his energy and was currently limping through the hall. nothing too serious was done to him physically, he can deal with the aches and pains; tim wasn't effected at all, he was picked up by a family friend and washed up from the blood that managed to get on him. jane, however, is a different story.</p><p>"i need to see her, i gotta," said tom, in a desperate tone. the doctor couldn't say no to this, they were aware he feels guilty that this happened and needed to see if his wife was... well, breathing. they hope he takes their word on her possibly not making it until the next day.<br/>the walk was quick and the door of the patient's room had been open, the doctor checking first if it was okay for him to enter before nodding their head towards him. when tom entered, he held in his breath, seeing his wife on the cot hooked up to the loud machines and wrapped up in supplies to cover the wounds.<br/>she had her eyes closed, she must still be asleep.</p><p>he hesitantly advanced towards the side of the bed, keeping his gaze on jane, ignoring his tears starting to parade out of him. he noticed the slow rise and fall of her chest, he was relieved to know she has yet to pass.<br/>"jane, i'm so sorry." he mumbled to her, trying to find the right final words; "this is my fault. if only i saw that semi, we'd be home sleeping in our bed, waiting for the moment our son wakes us up so we can watch him open his presents. wouldn't that have been nice?"<br/>he was talking to himself, she couldn't hear him. he didn't care, it was better to apologize than stay silent.</p><p>"you'd drink your warm coffee, i'd pick up the mess of wrapping papers. the same routine every christmas." he chuckled at the memories, they are such a happy family - they were such a happy family.<br/>as he stood there and continued to mutter nonsense under his breath, thinking she was listening, there was a sudden drawn out beep that gave tom a headache. a flat line on the heart monitor. her heart had stopped.<br/>jane was gone.<br/>upon the alarm, the doctor that had walked him over to the room came in and said their sorrys to the heartbroken man.</p><p>what will happen now that life has changed?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. decay.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>mcnamara and schaeffer. sfw. tw; descriptions of wounds/dead bodies.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>hatchetfield was barely standing, the debris of previous buildings crumbled in pieces on the ground and road, the gloomy grays spread throughout the emptiness. the air was clean, to some degree, yet the sky knitted a fine sweater of silver clouds to drown out the sun; the scene looking more like a movie set than anything.<br/>just from where schaeffer was standing, she could see the horrors of the meteor and alien spore had left in the small michigan town. she grew up here, and to see the place she once called home be destroyed and deserted - granted, for the right reasons - gave her an unsettling feeling in her chest.</p><p>she observed the land on top of a hill, miles from the actual gateway to the district, trying to see if her vision was on her side and could spot... anyone. anything. she had not seen any wildlife. she took in a sharp inhale before moving her legs, boots crunching the dead leaves under her.<br/>it's been a year since the incident, this swept under the rug by president howard good man and the rest of those office pricks. she came back to see if there was one, maybe two, things worth noting in the locked up files; perhaps evidence that was safe to bring to a lab, have it tested. it was a slim chance she'd find a treasure, but her determination was thicker than an old oak tree.</p><p>getting to lower grounds and closer to the start of the town, she slowed her pace, taking in the different spots she had to investigate. in her mind, she tried comparing what she saw to when hatchetfield was a functioning society, and there was walking lives dealing with their day-to-day routines. it felt like she was entering a home meant for ghosts; the energy tense and odd but welcoming.<br/>schaeffer pushed a hand in her pocket and took out a mini notepad and pen, clicking it:<br/>hour one. clutter. unidentifiable vehicles. broken signs - all stained blue.<br/>smells of ink, blood, coffee.<br/>no sound heard.<br/>she hated writing and reading as much as the next guy, but in order to update the outdated documents, she needed to use these lesser skills. she marched on.</p><p>it didn't take long for her to run into some questionable views. there are a few bodies left behind near what she assumed was the local barber shop, the wondering thought why they weren't taken away and buried popping in her mind.<br/>she cautiously made her way over to the three - they looked as though as they were teenagers, however no part of their body had been rotting this entire time. she squinted and took in their looks, their clothes, their wounds, everything.<br/>kid one is male and white; he was lanky, his curly hair short but clean, glasses croaked on his round face and cracked in one of the lenses; his shirt was ripped and bow untied, and it looked as though he had been stabbed.<br/>kid two was female and tanner than kid one; her hair was a long, chestnut brown, half of it combed neatly into a long ponytail, her yellow overall dress faded with stains of red and blue; no visible injuries, but what was noted was her mouth being completely blue on the inside.<br/>kid three... was a twin to kid two, or at least that was the assumption; her neck appeared to be broken. again, none of their bodies were decomposed, no part of their skeleton exposed.</p><p>she checked the shop, no sign of necessities to stay alive were found. she double-checked the three teens and had no luck with getting a pulse. she made a note on one of the pages to go back and properly bury the poor souls, then went on her way.<br/>it was a struggle to get passed the mess, occasionally slipping and close to falling thanks to the unstable, broken chunks from the previous tall structures. schaeffer eyed a store that presented itself as a military shop, immediately taking the chance to go over and try to open the door. it didn't budge. the windows were too dirty to peet through and check if a possible being was living there, so she took the risk of using her foot to kick it down. the hinges were weak, therefore the door came down with a loud crash, she stumbled a bit from the easy task.<br/>she collected herself then walked through the entrance and coughed from the dust - too much dust, she thought she wasn't going to be able to breathe.</p><p>clearing her throat, schaeffer anaylzed the setting, every item that was meant to be sold in perfect shape, besides a few shirts on mannequins laying on the floor.<br/>there was a clank noise from farther back of the store, causing her to stiffen and go into flight-or-fight mod. no, claire, go check it out, you need to know where this hellhole has gone to, she thought to herself.<br/>she took her gun out from its holster then crouched down a bit, staying behind displays as she inches closer to the back. the taps of her shoes gave it away she was coming, but that didn't matter, just as long as her body wasn't visible she wouldn't get hurt.<br/>reaching the counter, she turned around the corner and pointed her gun in the backroom where the employees would go, finding nothing. she blinked. it must be deeper. she continued to walk toward, gun still drawn and in front of her focus.</p><p>there was a shuffling noise around the next corner, suggesting someone or something was trying its best to hide from her. it was no use, she got it. she licked her lips nervously - no, impatiently - and quickly spun around to be in sight of whatever was trying to get away.<br/>she stood coldly with the glock lined up with the mess of a person on the floor, not clicking in her head that the one she was threatening to shoot was her own general from a year ago.</p><p>"colonel schaeffer?" asked john mcnamara, his tone dry and echo-y. it didn't sound right. he didn't look right, either. she made a face but didn't drop her weapon.<br/>"how the fuck do you know my name?" she questioned through clenched teeth, the foolery not being tolerated; she lost one of her generals and closest friend in peip last year, this... fake is not john, not at all. this joke wasn't funny, in fact, it was the opposite. it made her blood boil with rage.<br/>"answer the damn question, you trespasser."<br/>"me? trespassing? oh no, you are. this is my territory." he spat, eyes glowing an unnatural shade of blue for a split second, then shortly after he relaxed. "it's nice to see you again, come to check out the land finally? i wouldn't blame you for being so late, hard to deal with losing a part of your life."</p><p>he cocked his head to the side, longer-than-usual hair falling in his face. wasn't it in a bun before all this?<br/>"you must he pretty pathetic to come back after everyone forgot about the sick residents of hatchetfield. the creeps, the heroes, the whores, the fighters— all erased from the government records of the united states of america. who was paul matthews? who was ted jefferson? who was lex foster? they were no one. they never existed, not even in the fucking textbooks will they confirm these citizens were alive."<br/>"stop it! stop talking!" yelled schaeffer, as she tightened her grasp on her glock. it felt like he was getting in her head. this wasn't like john at all, he never said these sort of things, no matter how blunt his personality was.<br/>"you're just trying to control me with your freakish mind games. your words mean nothing to me."</p><p>"come on, claire, like words ever meant a thing to you. going back on the memory, you were quite the stubborn soldier. always going head-first into danger... i.e., right now. thick skull, as they say, a terrible character trait to have. you won't make it out of here, i can hear it now, some of the hive is still active. some of them are coming back to life. some of them are preparing to rip apart an unsuspecting buffoon like yourself. watch out, colonel schaeffer, it seems a nice girl will gain your trust and tear your throat out with her bare fucking teeth."</p><p>in an instant, schaeffer pulled the trigger more than enough times straight into john's head, resulting in the life form to go limp and motionless. he spoke no more.<br/>she let out a shaky breath, angry at what he said. what was he talking about? he can hear it? hear what? she tried listening but there was nothing hitting her. she turned on her heel and ran out of the military store, and from where she was standing, she gave an attempt to see if the three bodies she saw earlier were there. they were.<br/>she bit her bottom lip, what were the rules? she felt frustrated not understanding this, even if this mission wasn't mandatory, she wanted to get the worry for the town out of her head - but all this made it worse.<br/>/watch out, colonel schaeffer, it seems a nice girl will gain your trust and tear your throat out with her bare fucking teeth./<br/>it replayed in her head again and again until it inevitably scared her, not that she'd admit to it.</p><p>putting her gun away, she looked up at the sky as if it would give her an answer on what to do, and when she caught sight of a bird flying in the direction of where she has yet to check, it gave her validation.<br/>validation to move forward, validation to ignore his statement, validation to finish writing a piece of history to be remembered.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. erase.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>schaeffer and melissa. sfw. tw; mentions of previous and other deaths.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>all afternoon is what it took for schaeffer to make it through the main part of hatchetfield. it was depressing to go through town, depressing to note down the findings of unfamiliar bodies and items discovered around them.<br/>
not much got to the colonel, she was strong and things like this didn't do harm to her; however, this wasn't a battlefield. this was a regular town, full of regular citizens. they weren't the enemies, they weren't supposed to die so soon. it made her feel something odd deep in her chest, she couldn't explain it, she didn't want to.</p><p>she adjusted her cap as she stood in a patch of dead grass, overlooking the start of one of the many neighborhoods. despite the yards being empty of the range of green shades, the homes looked untouched. there was some windows and doors busted, depending on the house, but overall it could pass as a regular, lively set of streets. she sat down on a curb near one of the houses, taking a break to review her notepad; she tried to see which ones would match together and come up with some answers.<br/>
it was frustrating to try to think of reasonable, logical scenarios when the only subject matter she cares for is the military. it certainly did not take her long to give up with what she was doing.</p><p>she went to stand up, though the sudden hit of her head from an object made her stumble onto her knees. she whipped around to see what was behind her, all that stood was the small, beige house with the front windows smashed in. glancing down at the thing that was thrown, she furrowed her brows to see it was a small rock - whoever chucked it must not understand this will not do effective damage.<br/>
she got on her feet and kept a hard gaze over at the house; "another one is alive. guess i'll have to bring it to its demise." she said aloud, not able to keep any thoughts in her head anymore thanks to the john incident hours ago.<br/>
she withdrew her glock and made her way up the driveway, no consideration for what she was probably getting herself into.</p><p>schaeffer stood in front of the window that was wrecked, taking in what looked to be the living room of the home; the floor was a carpet with a dirty beach shade, the coffee table was too large for its place, and the couch was a leather hunk of junk pushed back against the wall. the television was on the floor shattered, pairs of shoes and few crowbars scattering in the oddest of spots.<br/>
she scanned the room to find if the culprit was hiding out here, and after a long minute of debating to enter and search, she saw a person peek their head from behind the wall that separated the family room from the kitchen. as soon as the colonel was seen, they pulled back and the sound of pots and pans crashing into the floor was heard. all of the things were just so frightful of her, huh?</p><p>she pushed open the window with her free hand and hopped through in one swift motion, landing on the stained floor. she did what she did in the military store, and walked slowly to the area that the stranger was occupying; this was her chance to put up a fight, put some muscle into this day rather wander around aimlessly and write useless information down.<br/>
turning the corner and pointing the gun, she saw that the one who threw the rock was a young adult - she was on the ground trying to collect the rusted, mix-match kitchen ware set. she looked distressed after realizing she was being threatened by a deadly weapon.<br/>
a sigh escaped the colonel, she couldn't fight such a small woman. inspecting her briefly, she could easily break her back in one go, if she needed to.</p><p>"please don't shoot, i'm not one of them!" she spoke out, voice soft but shaky. she sounded like she was going to cry; "i promise i'm normal. i- i just wanted to come back for a few days, see if any of my friends were awake! i didn't know this was military territory now, please, i'll leave as soon as you let me go!"<br/>
"shut it, your voice is like nails on a chalk board with all that stuttering," replied schaeffer, as she put away her pistol and stared down at the girl. thick glasses frames, long, sienna brown hair, pale white complexion; pastel pink, sleeveless button-down, solid-colored maroon skirt, strawberry laced socks, and maize yellow shoes.<br/>
christ, no wonder she tried throwing rocks to get her to go away, she was visually an easy target.</p><p>"state your identity." she demanded, giving the other on the floor a hand to help her on her feet. once stood, she started twirling a curl between her fingers.<br/>
"mel- melissa birde, ma'am, thank you for not killing me." said the girl, who was known as melissa, as she sighed in relief. good, she wasn't going to be shot for trespassing. "uhm- i'll leave now, if you need me to, i... sort of lost hope with what i was trying to find." she didn't make eye contact, keeping her gaze on the floor awkwardly as she spoke.<br/>
jeez, she never expected to talk to a soldier before, it was nerve-wrecking.</p><p>schaeffer raised a brow at what she said. "no, you're coming with me. you don't look sick like the rest, and if you were a resident from the past, you must know your way around, yes? i have already been in the hot-spot areas of the town, just lead me to places i may have missed or never visited." she said in a tone that reminded melissa of the stereotypical authority figure, making her swallow hard from fear. last thing she wanted was to tip her off the edge.<br/>
"right, right, but first- maybe you should eat. er, your hand was shaking while you held your gun..." she replied sheepishly then passed by the colonel, going over to a moss green messenger bag that had stitched cat badges. one of the badges, though, was a flag she didn't recognize that may have correspond to another country.</p><p>"look, i don't need food. i new answers, evidence. whatever fucking information i can get." she pressed, watching her take out two clif bars that was made from protein, peanut butter, and banana.<br/>
"no excuses! you may be an older, spooky, military lady, but i will not allow you to skip out on a snack after working for so long!" she claimed then threw her bag on her shoulder, handing one of the bars to her.<br/>
after a long, stern gaze, she gave in and took the food, eating it in an unnecessarily angry way; damn, she really did not want to be paired with technically a child. this makes her work hard, now having to deal with the other getting emotional while they travel around from place to place.<br/>
before she knew it, she ate the entire thing, wiping her mouth and dropping the wrapper on the floor. "let's go, and quick- the sun was close to setting after i came over here."</p><p>-</p><p>she hated this more than she thought. the constant contact melissa gave her - either grabbing onto her arm or completely engulfing her in a hug - made her extremely irritated, which woule cause her to raise her voice in the moment of anger. of course, they'd have to find a hiding spot after, just in case a creature or animal happened to hear they existed within the town.<br/>
it was a lot on schaeffer, and she couldn't flat out say what the overwhelming emotion was in her chest nor discuss it with someone she met thirty minutes prior. even if she wanted a reasonable conversation, melissa would more than likely take offense to her problem with the physical affection.</p><p>in the span of their walking time, they didn't get too far into the neighborhood, only stopping at the local park. it was rather small, the grass being the same shade as the yards, and the sand where the jungle-gym laid looked more stiff and grainy than before. the structures children usually under six would play on didn't look too hot, either; the motley of colors appeared muddy and faded, the paint chipped in specific spots, and almost the entire thing bent and caved into itself. it did not seem as if it was safe to stand on.<br/>
"it's getting dark, miss... maybe we should stay under the fort for the night? we'd stay out of trouble, and no one or thing could find us," said melissa, as she gripped onto her bag strap. she was right, the sun was already out of sight behind the dead tree trunks - the sky coated in dark shades of pumpkin orange and rust red.</p><p>"mm, fine." she agreed, already marching through the clumps of sand that she hated even when she was tiny. as much as it isn't safe to get around during the night, schaeffer was impatient, she wanted to finish her work then get the hell out of dodge. yet, this was a good opportunity to figure out more about her new companion and her motives to visit ghost town.<br/>
they settled under one of the more stable areas of the kiddie building, double-checking to make sure no part of their body or clothes would be exposed through the holes and cracks.</p><p>"so, miss birde, what was your occupation and life like before the incident a year ago?"<br/>
"well," she started, "i worked at ccrp, the tech branch. i managed calls that we got, and helped pick up or bring things to other employees, along with doing side tasks for my boss. i was sort of the one to go to if anyone needed help, since i tried to be most organized and have a set routine." she explained and hoped it was sufficient enough for the colonel. she noted the other woman was writing all this down, making her shift uncomfortably to a new sitting position. what did she need that for? was she now considered a witness? is she going to be searched?<br/>
oh, she can't handle that. to be found as the only survivor - or at least she thinks she is the only survivor.</p><p>"you said you came here to find your friends. who exactly were these people?" asked schaeffer, as she flipped to a new page to begin the list of names, occupations, and descriptions. she had to try to match them up with bodies found, disclosing to the president who is to be remembered and their memory secured and valued as any living man today.<br/>
melissa frowned sadly, she didn't think she had to verbally discuss the mutuals she hadn't seen in forever. "oh, where do i begin..." she rubbed her hands together, gaze stuck on a leaf that was jammed in one of the small holes of the platform above them.<br/>
she went into detail about her boss and co-workers, the messy writing of their names and their personalities began: ken davidson, paul matthews, ted jefferson, and charlotte vynn. there was another name, emma perkins, who apparently was a barista at one of the many coffee shops.<br/>
strange, two of the names sounded familiar... it couldn't be the same paul and ted she was told of from john as he rambled, right?</p><p>she looked back at the colonel. "there were these cops that would drop by, too, mainly for charlotte. officer sam, officer rob, and officer doug."<br/>
once that was mentioned, schaeffer can recall seeing the perfectly intact two out of three in a rotting police car - she had wrote their last names and badge numbers down on another page.<br/>
"horne and fitzgerald is what i read on their uniforms."<br/>
"that was rob and doug, then! i'm guessing they are... not moving?" she asked after pausing for a moment, her expression gloomy.<br/>
god, if she becomes sad one more time, she was going to lose it. it's been long enough for her to skip past the lost buddies, and time to find out a good reason for all of this.</p><p>before they could continue speaking, there was a sound of something dropping onto the end of the platform above them. melissa jumped in shuck and grabbed onto schaeffer's knee, staring in the direction it was heard from. she bit back an annoyed swear and listened to the light footsteps come closer to where they were, hand on her holster.<br/>
they just can't catch a break, can they?<br/>
the figure stopped right above where the duo were sitting, both holding their breath thinking it was enough to convince the thing they were not present.</p><p>"i know you're there, i was told so- i heard you." a child's voice, no younger than thirteen. another kid? where were they coming from? the pair didn't respond.<br/>
the child slid down the pole that was attached to the structure, landing on her feet in front of the space that lead into the spot they were sitting. she had an over-sized, mustard yellow flannel on top of faded blue overalls and a royal purple shirt; her ginger colored hair tied into messy pigtails, her face emotionless and deadly tired, her eyes matching the general's. it was the only thing lit in the dark.<br/>
schaeffer could see that there were three claw marks placed on her throat, though it did not like as if an animal did it - another person must have made the deep wound.</p><p>"webby says you two are going to stop us."<br/>
"webby? who the hell is that? listen, kid, you better stay the fuck away from us. we're just here on an investigation." she said, not removing her hand from where it was placed minutes previous. the girl screwed up her face then pointed at the colonel;<br/>
"betrayal, blood, bit neck... tragic hero." she spat what was nonsense to the two, proceeding to take out a pocket knife. "end now before it's too late," said the girl, as she came at them. without hesitation, schaeffer pulled the gun out and shot her right in the jaw, her falling in front of their feet. another shot in the head shortly after to confirm she was dead, then she grabbed melissa's hand.<br/>
"we need to go. now."</p><p>she didn't need to say more for melissa to get up and book it out of the park, heading towards downtown hatchetfield. they had no idea where they were going, but this was starting to become dangerous; the creatures were becoming more violent, more aggressive. whatever the kid said wasn't even acknowledged until after they stopped running to catch their breaths.<br/>
/betrayal, blood, bit neck... tragic hero./<br/>
schaeffer doesn't know what she means by "tragic hero", nor does she have any clue what it means. she didn't wish to, but the other words she could understand. taking in a deep breath, she turned towards the shaken melissa, who had tears streaming down her soft face.</p><p>"you shot her. you shot a little girl."<br/>
"if i didn't, she could have potentially killed us! little girls, boys, or whoever aren't immune to the evils in the world." she coldly replied, pissed to hear such a ridiculous statement given the situation.<br/>
yes, she never would or think to harm a child in the past, but who she shot wasn't a human anymore. she did not have morals when it came to other living things that were built to destroy.<br/>
"let's just- let's just find a place to go. see, look, the theater. that's where the meteor was, those things must be done hanging around there. we can rest in the dressing rooms and wait until sunrise to leave."<br/>
"not to be rude, but no, that's a stupid idea! we shouldn't go there. i know the hospital isn't too far from here, perhaps we can find a first-aid kit to take with us."</p><p>as the two spoke to one another on what to do as of now, it wasn't surprising to hear more and more sounds emerge from all over the area - specifically, the theater.<br/>
"i don't have enough bullets to start killing all of them," said schaeffer, disappointed. "come on, kid, i will stay in front of you but you need to direct me where the emergency room is." she barked as she ran once again, melissa trying her best to stay close behind her. they passed faces that were recognizable, faces that were unknown, faces that were undescribable. their damages on their body were more prominent than the other bodies seen, some of these cases caused the younger adult to continue with her shaken-up sobbing.</p><p>this wasn't going as planned, no, not at all. the two simply wanted answers, not to be stuck in a stinky problem, especially since the way they came in on separate days was across town. smart, very very smart.<br/>
as they kept jogging fast down the main road, schaeffer could have swore she saw the one melissa described as paul in the midst of the cluttered street; she did not give any other attempt to look back.</p><p>-</p><p>the hospital was, from what they were aware of, empty. the floors were drenched in reds and blues, some purples and pinks appearing in the mixture, and medical supply piled against the walls - more than the two could count. out of quick thinking, they decided to use these to block off the front entrances as fast as possible; giving them time to calm down and collect their clouded thoughts.<br/>
think of a plan out, maybe find some more weapons. by the time rhey finished and were seated behind the front desk, melissa was done crying, yet she can't stop herself from shaking. she needed comfort, schaeffer had no idea how to give it.<br/>
from everything they've seen today, it might be best to forget what they came here for. make sure they find a way to take down the ones that remain, and erase the entire town from the map - from their minds, from the official documents.</p><p>"i shouldn't have came back," said melissa through heavy breathing. "i- i don't think you'd be in this mess with me if i never tried to find reassurance. i'm so stupid." she brought her knees up to her chest and held onto her legs. she tried not to get back to crying, it being a little difficult, but managed to.<br/>
the colonel stared at her before shifting the gaze to one of the hallways nearby that lead into where doctors and nurses would have worked in.<br/>
"there might be a bathroom in there you can cool down, splash water in your face maybe. if the water works, that is."<br/>
"i have a few bottles i can use, but i don't want to go alone. i don't want to get hurt." she responded fast, nails digging into her skin.</p><p>schaeffer dropped a heavy hand on her shoulder, accidentally scaring her. "i'm here for you, kid, i'll stand guard and make sure nothing happens to you. okay?" she asked, meaning her words. when needing to protect others, she was on it and does not play around. she can see how badly she cared for her life, and that is something that she nees to cherish over her own.<br/>
melissa kept an unsure stare at the colonel before giving her a slow nod; "okay. okay, okay, i trust you." she softly said, relaxing under her odd form of comfort.<br/>
both stood up in sync, taking out the things they had on them, and gave each other an encouraging look. with that, she turned on her heel and carefully walked down one of the halls, disappearing from schaeffer's line of sight.</p><p>/i don't want to get hurt./<br/>
this reminded her of something that she can't quite describe, something that she purposely repressed so she would not remember it. what was it? who was the person she lost due to her that said the same words? she couldn't recall, thankful that her mind wouldn't allow it.<br/>
but not thankful to be caught off-guard. there was a shrill scream from the hallway that caused her to lag for a moment before running down in the direction she saw her go in. she passed by the lined up doors, not giving them more than a quick glance to confirm whether or not it was a bathroom. the signs that used to hang on the ceiling and plastered near the entrances of each room must have been taken off after the incident happened, it was difficult to find where melissa has gone.</p><p>she called for her, trying to hear if there was any noises of distress nearby. after stopping dead in her tracks, ignoring the tightness in her chest, she strained to find a single sound, one that would break the awful silence with the exception of her heavy breathing.<br/>
there were footsteps from the room behind her, and she stepped through the doorway, gripping onto the frame. "kid? are you in here?" she asked without a second thought, she couldn't get her eyes to focus in the dark room; silhouettes of old equipment and furniture blending together. she heard what seemed to be an airy laugh, she assumed was from a fearful melissa, and she walked in farther.</p><p>"miss birde, seriously, talk to me- are you hurt?" asked schaeffer desperately, as she squinted her eyes on what she thought was her sitting at the edge of the old cot. another quiet laugh, sounding more masculine than the first, causing her to halt her steps.<br/>
what was going on, what was funny? who was laughing? she clenched her fists, she can't see shit, she can't think under all this stress. she raised her voice: "please, melissa, can you just fucking tell me if you're h-"<br/>
/tear your throat out with her bare fucking teeth./<br/>
look at that, john was wrong - it was her neck, not her throat, and it wasn't from the girl she trusted. the girl she trusted betrayed her into this.</p><p>schaeffer took in the sharp teeth dug deep into her trapezius, she can feel how close it was to the bone, and the blood built up between her and the mouth of her assailant. another took hold of both of her arms, keeping them in front of her as she was froze in this position. she could not get herself to move.<br/>
from what she can make out, the one gripping onto her must be ted; his mustache curling with the sick grin he wore, the blue shit seen many times freshly stained on his chin. he must be the one who got to her first.</p><p>fuck, she failed. she failed again. she failed another person, costing her own life, and she was just beginning to care for the kid. she felt herself get woozy, this only lasting a minute as the one behind her ripped the chunk of her body clean off of her.<br/>
oh, if only she was allowed to see the crimson liquid spray everywhere.<br/>
this time, the feeling hurt - it felt bad, she didn't like it. wounds in the past made her happy, it was relieving to shed some blood and gave her a purpose to grow stronger, and keep fighting. this one, though? she can feel herself giving up as she slowly leaned into the many hands that held onto her body, her vision messing with her one last time.<br/>
the last thing she heard was a soft feminine voice besides her, the opposite of where her attack occurred:</p><p>"i'm sorry it had to tragically end like this, miss colonel schaeffer, but you know what they say... the show must go on."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. euphoria.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>paul/bill. sfw.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"shouldn't we be going to bed?"<br/>the question lingered in the air for a moment, distracting the couple from staying in their embrace on the couch in the living room. they had work the following day, and continuing to watch 90s films while it was nearing midnight may be a bad idea. paul asked the concern, this normal for the duo - paul worried often about their schedules getting too far off track.</p><p>bill, on the other hand, didn't mind change in his daily life. he enjoyed it, it made every day different. he nuzzled his face into the other's chest; "but we just started edward scissorhands, i haven't seen this since i was a kid." he said and moved his gaze up on his partner, who looked more tired than he thought. movie night should really be changed on their days off.<br/>"we can turn in for the night."</p><p>"thank you," said paul, as he let out a yawn. he reached over for the remote and turned off the television, the room now falling silent, then looked down at him. "you have an extra pair of pajamas for me, right?"<br/>"of course, i still have the one you left here the other night, you're forgetful when in a rush to get ready," replied bill, as he pulled away from him and got off the couch. the loss of warmth disappointed the two of them, though it isn't like they weren't going to get right back to cuddling.</p><p>going back to what paul asked, no, paul and bill do not live together - yet, that is. they started dating a little over a year ago, and have been taking it slow since then; they go over to each other's places often and have their nights together, which really helps them out if they wanted to be together all the time. as much as both men preferred independence, they did not mind going to one another when they needed assistance with something.<br/>paul could never get tired of bill, and bill could never get tired of paul.</p><p>after the few lamps around the family room were clicked off, bill made his way into the bedroom, noticing paul already quickly changed while he was out there.<br/>"you're fast right now for someone who looks exhausted." he joked and watched his partner climb into the bed, on the side he likes to sleep on more.<br/>"yeah, well, the faster i am, the faster i can get some rest."<br/>"true, unless i take my time putting on my pajamas."<br/>"please do not."</p><p>bill laughed at him, only teasing with what he said; "i won't, i won't. i promise." he smiled before going ahead with swapping into his comfy evening outfit. once in bed, they returned into their previous cuddling position: both latching onto each other with legs intertwined, bill resting his head against paul's chest. it was relaxing.<br/>they said goodnight to each other, and with that, paul was the first to fall asleep - bill took a little longer, listening to the other's calm breathing and slow heartbeats.<br/>he can go to bed like this every night if he could, he wouldn't mind at all.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. flower.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tom/becky. sfw.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>tommy bear; Hey, are you working today?</p><p>bumble bee; Yes! is there something wrong ?</p><p>tommy bear; Just wondering :) I wanted to drop by.</p><p>bumble bee; I'm on break now, hurry on over !</p><p>tom stared at his phone screen for a second, rereading the message he never responded to. he had been driving, last thing he wants is to get in an accident on an important date. he took in a breath and looked besides him, a bouquet of honeysuckle resting on the passenger seat; he hoped becky even liked the type of flower.<br/>after climbing out of the car and locking it with his keys, he mustered up the confidence to walk up to the front entrance of saint damian hospital; he had to ask for directions to the pediatrics wing, as he had never visited this hospital before. he passed by plenty of doctors, nurses, and even patients as he found his way to where he needed to be.</p><p>"excuse me? i'm here to drop something off to one of the nurses," said tom, as he stood in front of a desk where a woman was typing away on her computer. the woman paused to look at him for a moment, raising a brow; "which nurse?"<br/>"er, barnes. becky barnes." he replied awkwardly, not expecting her to be cold for someone working with kids. she pushed away from the desk then stood, taking only a few steps to call for another person to get becky. god, this much trouble to give her flowers?</p><p>tom rocked on his feet as he waited in silence, ignoring the clicking of the woman's laptop as the time passed. finally, becky came out of the door meant only for workers.<br/>"hi, tom! it's nice to see you!" she smiled warmly as she went over to his side, making his heart flutter and all tension wash off him. he handed the bouquet to her without greeting; "uh, these are for you- since it's, er, our six months. i would've done something better, but i'm waiting for the one year mark." he explained, without knowing he had returned a loving smile.<br/>"oh, these are lovely! you're so kind," said becky, as she took the flowers delicately and took a quick smell. "i can't believe you came here to give me them, i was going to wait until i got home to give you yours." she laughed lightly and held the gift close to her chest. she was glowing with happiness, it's insane how she felt this way thanks to him - not that she is complaining.<br/>"i guess i was excited," replied tom, as he rubbed the back of his neck with a chuckle. awe, he couldn't help himself.</p><p>she gave his check a soft kiss; "i appreciate it very much, i'll make sure to put them in water so they can stay alive. i have to get back to work, though-" she glanced back at the front desk lady- "so i'll see you later tonight, sweetie."<br/>"oh- oh, yeah, yeah, get back to work. hah, uh, bye, becky." he replied and adjusted his flannel collar, clearing his throat, confused on his ridiculous nervousness. she gave him another smile then walked back through the door she came out of minutes prior. he watched before hearing a few snickers.<br/>"such a gentleman," said the woman, as she smirked in his direction in a teasing way. tom waved her off and told her to have a good day before making his exit - note to self, don't visit becky without informing her he is on the way, and she can meet him outside instead.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. ghost.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>charlotte/doug. sfw. au; fallen angel.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>2:49 a.m. end of the night shift. doug wasn't one to pick up these tasks when offered, they prefer to rely on the sun to help shine out the citizens that aren't obeying the law. sure, more crimes are most likely to be committed in the shadows of the evening; however, they didn't care much for drivers going fifteen over the speed limit, or the rebellious hatchetfield teens doing a pot deal in the woods. no, they care more about the genuinely dangerous people, the characters that may appear as charming but deep down have cruel intentions. not much of those were present in the town, there were barely any cases of murders or kidnappings - with the exception of a killing with a woman some years prior.</p><p>poor lady, she went missing around the autumn season, and months later found buried in the dirt under a rose bush during the spring. it's a case that hasn't been reviewed over in a long while, and due to this woman never sharing her personal life with her co-workers and having no connections with her family, her unknown murderer walked out free from punishment. to this day, it pissed doug off; she deserves justice, what happened to her was vial, and her husband had been concerned for her ever since she vanished from his and everyone's lives. from what they know, the woman's desk at her job is still there, along with her small decorations and tiny photographs. her old work papers she needed to finalize collected dust near her monitor.</p><p>they checked the time as they drove down the empty road, passing by the many trees and tall grass that play a key role in the town's agriculture. their shift ends at three, so leaving their post a few minutes earlier wouldn't get them in trouble - they probably should, though it has not happened yet. they were going a couple miles under the limit to have the alone time to relax, enjoy the night, listen to the quiet music humming from the radio. those hums soon enough began to glitch, static heard in between notes, which made doug turn up the volume slightly and flip through the other channels. it was the same, all the music or talk shows would be interrupted more frequently as they swam through the optional stations a number of times. then it was nothing but the painful noise. they slapped the radio lightly in no real hope it would work, bringing their focus back on the road and slamming on their breaks when a flash of light flung in front of their car. at a complete stop, they were staring out their window, trying to see in the darkness what that... thing was.</p><p>it had to be their imagination, it just had to be, but the screeching of their radio made them want to leave for a moment. they turned it down enough so it wouldn't distract their thoughts, proceeding to grab a flashlight and hopping out the car. they crossed the road to the opposite side, and stepped in the grass. they tried thinking of what is could've been - a trick of the eye, a shine of an item, a glow of a bug - but none of what they guessed made sense. and the truth definitely was more unrealistic when they panned their flashlight beam around the grass. look, doug isn't religious, they've never been; they don't have anything against religion or the practices, they just have their own sets of beliefs. this night visit could very likely change that.</p><p>they stared at the person on the muddy ground in between low-growing bushes, frozen with shock to see it. was it even human? from their pale, gray appearance and busted figure, it was a slim chance it could be close to human. its' head was hung and it was bent over, hiding its face from the light, and after staring for a bit longer they realized this thing had broken wings - huge wings of that to a bird, but not as angelic as they read about in stories involving the holy beings. they swallowed hard, it was probably a halloween trick, that holiday was less than a month away and it might only be a simple prank.<br/>"uh, good evening- i'm officer fitzgerald, are you hurt at all?" they spoke up once another second or two ticked by. from them speaking, the creature slowly shifted their arm away, picking up their head to look directly at them.</p><p>from revealing itself more, doug made a connection its features matched a lady's, the face being softer and feminine; what frightened them the most was the eyes. pitch black, close to a burnt charcoal, and small white pupils that cut deep into their soul. tear-like substance dripped from them, the color close to a black ink, and more was visible trailing from the mouth. the hair, however, was the only part of the person to be clean and curly, a limp bow placed at the side of the head. they felt themself shaking, breathing harder, an anxiety clawing at the inside of their chest - why was she staring? the stare was cold and expressed no emotion. a shiver went down their spin as the air around them dropped significantly in temperature. this was a mistake, they had to go. as soon as she flinched with movement, doug spun around and ran back to the police car, throwing themself inside and speeding off.</p><p>what the fuck was that? they thought as they ignored the pinging of the vehicle alerting they didn't have a seat belt on. the radio had fixed itself while they drove back to the station, needing to clock out for the night fast now that it was nearing 3:30 a.m. they took in a deep breath as they pulled into their parking space, and stopped the car. do they tell the others? would they believe them? no, it's crazy, it might've been them being tired - they imagined the whole thing, that's right, there was no lady in the bushes that had a grandma aesthetic and had been crying in the dull darkness. after checking their pulse and confirm their heart wasn't in a panic, they left the car once more to go in the building.</p><p>"where the hell were you? i've been waiting for you since the clock struck three," said sam, one of their co-workers that was a bit of an asshole. they feel rude describing him as such, considering his wife was brutally taken away from him however long ago, but that really doesn't excuse the attitude at the same time.<br/>"i, uh, thought i saw a homeless guy... doing crack. yeah," replied doug, as blunt as they could be, then let out a fake yawn to try and move on from their weak response. rob, one of the other cops seen out and about town in the daytime, laughed at this.</p><p>"why are you here? isn't it a bit early for you to start your shift?" they asked, going over to one of the empty desks and leaned up on it.<br/>"i usually come in at this time, i can run on four hours of sleep just fine," said rob, as he sipped at a cup full of watered down coffee he made in the break room. ah, so it was the caffeine that helped this man get through ungodly amounts of hours on duty. they found it rather amusing that he was so serious with this job - he can see someone jaywalk and flip out, and either they or sam has to get him to brush it off. a little ridiculous, but no matter what, they rather enjoyed working with him and his loud volume.</p><p>sam shoved his phone in his pocket then did finger guns towards the two. "my time to leave, see you suckers in the afternoon. if there is a homeless dude doing crack, doug, i'll let you know." he said as he walked out of the door, not waiting for a goodnight in return. it fell quiet, it made them uncomfortable, which usually isn't the case.<br/>"hey, rob? i have a question."<br/>"what? does it involve the crackhead?"<br/>"no- no, that was bullshit. but do you believe in the, er, supernatural? or like, god-like beings taking physical form?" they asked, cringing at how insane they sound; it was too late in the night to be talking about this, and this statement was silently agreed by him. he set his coffee down and crossed his arms.</p><p>"are you trying to tell me that you actually saw a ghost on your way back? because, quite frankly, it sounds like you are a nine-year-old that is scared of horror movies." he said and kept his eyes on them, watching them screw their face up for a moment before letting out a chuckle.<br/>"nah, nah, just a question i had. halloween is coming up, wanted to see if your opinion on it changed or not after all these years." they ended the conversation they started and took their hat off; "well, i best be going- unlike you, i need a good six hours of sleep in order to do my daily responsibilities."</p><p>"right. goodnight, doug." he said then sat down in one of the chairs, picking up his cup again. they only nodded then made their exit, running a hand through their hair. jeez, maybe it really was just a druggie... and the possibility they are growing exhausted from the long day. shaking it off, they decided it was best to forget the incident happened and focus on getting home. besides, where they saw the creature was a long way from where they live, it isn't like she will find her way in the town's neighborhoods and pinpoint their exact location. they laughed at the idea - yeah, it really was silly, huh? that stuff wasn't real, they must've forgotten what it was like to be a child and be fearful for every little thing. they returned to their lovely, mini house - greeting their dog as they came in, of course - and turned in for the night.</p><p>-</p><p>it was hard to drop the event when doug kept seeing her. for the past week, they have seen her almost every day, sometimes more than once - no matter the time. morning, noon, afternoon, evening. it was repetitive, and at this rate, they were only looking for her while out on the job. whenever they happen to catch a glimpse of her standing behind a structure or out in the open, they tried to get rob or sam to look, but the two always had the same responses: "no one is there, doug, calm down." at the end of the week, sam had the nerve to tell them they should take saturday off because him and rob were "concerned for their health". what was that supposed to mean? it frustrated them a bit, but what frustrated them more was the damn woman stalking them. how can no one else see her? she was out of place among the colorful residents and buildings, it certainly is odd. instead of arguing, they agreed to take a day off and stay home, where they didn't have to come across the eerie figure. that would be a wonderful break.</p><p>or so they thought. when they came home that night, they felt like they were being... watched. followed. but with each glance to check what may be there, they found nothing - just their empty home filled with their minimum furniture and decor, along with their sleepy dog that paid them no attention. hell, doug even would go as far to check the windows that weren't yet covered by the curtains; to ease their worry, they drew them closed and turned off the lamps in the rooms they were not present in. just chill out, no one is here besides you, and whoever you keep seeing is clearly just someone that enjoys a prank or two during october. they thought to themself, trying to believe this as best as they can. deciding that overthinking was too much for them, they went to their bedroom to get some sleep and rid of the anxious ideas. better than staying awake.</p><p>they fell asleep rather quickly once their pet joined the one-person bed, cuddling up to them as a couple hours passed without a problem. though, near the same time as when they first came across the apparition, they woke up to their dog letting out low whines and growls towards something they couldn't see yet.<br/>"jazz, c'mon, it's probably just a fly," said doug, as they tiredly laid their head back down against their pillow. they felt jazz stand up on the bed and bellow out a bark, causing them to shush him. "seriously, bud, you know there isn't room for that! what are you so scared of?" they asked as they turned their entire body, expecting the room to be empty, but they were wrong. it was her. she got in. her eyes were glued on theirs, ignoring the dog's warning noises that threatened her if she stepped any closer.</p><p>they let out a harsh swear as they sat up and crawled backwards, forgetting the bed wasn't thick width-wise and slipped off onto the floor. they swore again and groaned in pain, jazz jumping down next to them and began to nuzzle into their arm. after a moment, they collected themself and looked over the edge of the bed, seeing the woman had positioned herself on top of it, gaze down on the officer.<br/>"what the fuck do you want from me?" they shouted at the figure, trying their best to use their anger to cover the fact their heart was racing in terror. they caught sight of her lifting a hand and reaching over, too tensed to pull back against the wall or to fight her, not acknowledging that their dog's upset nature dropped. this was it, they were going to get possessed and their idiot brain couldn't react fast enough to stop it. there goes all those years of working on themself as a person, working on helping others through thick and thin - they had fun, they really did.</p><p>doug shut their eyes tight to break the staring contest and braced for the unbearable feeling that came with being taken over. instead, the electric shock didn't come; the air around them may be colder than canada in winter, however the hand that was placed against their cheek was as warm as any living person. her skin was soft despite its coarse display, making them lean into the touch and relaxing their muscles from their previously tense state. they opened their eyes to look at her once more, and even though her appearance did not change with the touch, they had a strange feeling that they knew her. like they've seen her around town in the past, perhaps in some photographs or online. being in a chill phase for the moment, they took in the small shadowed details under her eyes that might have been from the crying; what was going to happen?</p><p>"please," she finally spoke, "help me." they suspected her voice to be quiet and have a ringing echo trailing at the end of her sentence, though there was a comforting inflection to it. she didn't sound sad, she didn't sound hurt - not even lost. it was smooth like the honey they put in their tea, but lacks the sugar that pulls the entire thing together. doug furrowed their brows with confusion to her statement; "help you? why should i? you terrorized me all week, i don't think that is fair." they replied and kept their gaze on the other. they observed the ink-like tears begin to drip at a suddenly quick pace, falling down on their white sheets. well, let's hope that there won't be any stains. taking it as crying, doug apologized and agreed to help the stranger in need, they were qualified to do this sort of task after all.</p><p>-</p><p>"are you able to drink? like tea, coffee, water- whatever else?" the two, plus jazz, had moved into the small dining room table that was positioned in the kitchen instead. it wasn't anything special, a round top and the entire thing made of wood, but it matched the rest of the theme for the house. the kitchen also was not much fun to look at, they didn't care for having trinkets lay around unless they thought it fit with the space. if they could they'd add more, this being difficult as usually only two people could be in the room at a time.<br/>"i don't know, i haven't tried," said the lady, as she flicked one of her wings to shake off the dog fur that was stuck to one of the feathers.</p><p>doug turned on one of the stove tops, the fire lighting underneath the tea kettle. "guess we'll just have to find out, then, huh?" they chuckled with a bit of nervousness. she has yet to bring up what her issue was, so it was concerning them somewhat - breaking and entering into the house of who you have been following around just to request assistance on something sounds straight from a bad movie. there was no response to their comment. they chewed the inside of their cheek as they went through a little box full of different flavored tea bags, sensing she was keeping an eye on them as if she was their big brother poster. they took out two tea bags, one being a cinnamon flavor and the other being vanilla.</p><p>she leaned back against the chair, hands folded in her lap. "i want to know who ruined my life." she said out of the blue, which made doug whip their head around to look over at her. "i remember getting hurt and having an inescapable death, but i can't recall where it happened or who did it. i woke up in a new world, free from the pain, i didn't even have to breathe. but i was very contempt in this land of peace, i wanted to get all the answers. it wasn't long before i was given a warning of being tossed down on earth, then after a quarrel, i was. fortunately, i can return once i am content with my passing and leave this realm with no desire to visit forever." she explained, not moving an inch as she did. they stared, mouth open to reply but they didn't know how. the kettle had started to whistle a tune, volume increasing gradually as seconds passed, then it dawned on them.</p><p>"you're the woman that was found dead under a rose bush: charlotte mcguire!"<br/>"vynn, actually, i never did like my husband's last name." she corrected as she watched them pick up the kettle and pour the steaming water into the cups.<br/>"i can't believe it, i've been wanting to finish this case for years now, and look! you're here with me! you need my help!" they sounded too thrilled about this, but that didn't matter - charlotte was going to get to finally be put to rest after so long. doug brought over the cups and set hers down in front of her, then proceeded to sit down in the one other chair at the table. suddenly, they didn't feel uneasy around the angel, now that they know what she was here for.</p><p>"but let me get this straight," started doug. "you can't remember the person who did it and the place it went down? though you are aware that you were stabbed twice and choked out?"<br/>"yes," answered charlotte, as she looked down at herself and moved a hand onto her side. "it went deep, i don't know if that has to do with strength or the length of the blade." she looked back at them, dropping her hand in its original resting spot. they nodded at her words and took a quick sip of their tea, thinking. she must have lost her memory while her soul transferred to the different world, and now that she was sent to this planet once more, that could've made it worse. as they tapped their fingernail against the glass, charlotte lifted her tea and drank some of it silently, her taste buds lagging behind on letting her sense know what it was. she paused, slamming the cup down on the table.</p><p>they made a face at the sudden aggression and watched her freeze for a minute. this was getting freaky again.<br/>"oh? is this vanilla? i drank this all the time on saturdays, mainly while i read books i borrowed from the library. the last book i was on was a murder mystery - how fitting." she said, the tears returning and trailing down her face fast. doug blinked, not sure how this information helped; of course, it being close to four in the morning, their brain was rather slow to connect the dots.<br/>"that's it! charlotte- if i may call you that- we need to do things that will help you gain your memory back! that way you can piece together the entire day, and exactly what went down." they gave the simple idea, hoping she would agree to it, and grinned to see her nod in compliance to the suggestion.</p><p>"now we just need to figure out what else you did on your day-to-day basis... maybe asking sam would help, i'm sure he was home enough to figure out what you were doing at specific times and days and all that." they rubbed their chin as they spoke, making her do the same for a moment to see if doing that would cause anything to happen. "but that'll have to wait until sunday, when i actually go back to work," said doug, a yawn following after. they chugged the rest of their tea then stood up. "it's a little late for me, maybe we can continue this when i wake up in the morning, deal?"<br/>"deal," nodded charlotte, as she picked up the cup and drank the rest of her tea but much slower than the cop did.</p><p>being a fallen angel, charlotte didn't need to rest. sleeping, eating, drinking, breathing, and bathing all weren't required, but she was told that they did not liked being watched and despite trusting her, it would be hard to fall asleep if she sat in the corner all night staring. so she wandered around the house silently, observing the very few rooms and how they were set up. she didn't know why she wanted to learn more about doug through their home, but it would give her an idea on how they act a bit more through where they live. she stopped in the living room and sat on the couch, feeling the cushions - they weren't as comfortable as doug's bed, when she was on it momentarily. she lied down, testing to see it was better on her back. it was not. she flipped on her stomach. still not better. she spread out the best she could, wings included, and buried her face into one of the throw pillows. not the best, but it will do.</p><p>if she had to wait until morning for them, she might as well try to experience sleeping again.</p><p>-</p><p>around ten in the morning, doug dragged themself out of bed, heading out the room to start their day. the whole greeting hours from earlier slipped from their mind as they combed through their hair and brushed their teeth; they were currently thinking on what they could do to pass the time later that day. when walking to the living room, the light bulb clicked itself on as they saw charlotte sprawled on the couch. oh, right, that. they thought and quietly stepped over to the limp figure. they crouched down and ran a light hand against one of her wings hanging off the ledge - they must have been quite majestic while in the universe they couldn't even picture. it's a wonder how the wing was fluffy to the touch but visually looked dismantled. after a moment, it folded away from their hand, and they looked over to see charlotte was staring at them once more.</p><p>"okay... i'm never going to get used to that," said doug, after jumping in surprise at the sudden change in her position. they sat in silence for what felt like an entire year, that is until jazz started to whine. "uh, so charlotte- sam used to talk about how good your cooking was, maybe making breakfast could open up some memories? you can go do that while i take him on a walk." they said as they pet jazz's head, earning a slow nod from the angel. they briefly went over where everything was in the cabinets - from pots and pans to spices and herbs - then told her they'd be back in a half hour. they just hoped the idea of letting her handle flammable things was smart.</p><p>standing in the kitchen, charlotte tapped her hands against the counter top as she scanned the cupboards full of many different dry ingredients. breakfast, breakfast... she was blanking on what was to be made, turning towards the fridge and opening the door. she reached inside and pat at the containers and bottles she saw, playing the naming game to see if she could recall what would be the right item or not: butter, eggs, milk, bread, maple syrup. "french toast?" she spoke aloud as she pulled these out, going over the remaining options again before using a foot to close the door. as she placed these besides the pan and spatula on the counter, it crossed her mind she had to re-learn how to cook food in the first place. she resumed her tapping to test if this would magically slip the skill in her mind. it didn't.</p><p>well, she can't disappoint doug, considering they have to eat in order to live. she let out a sigh before puffing her chest out, turning on one of the stove tops. she theorized if she were to make small steps in the process of cooking french toast, it will come naturally to her and she wouldn't lag behind with the next task. only one way to find out if this was a logical theory! she went to do what she assumed was to be done first: cracking and beating the eggs into a separate bowl, stirring the milk in the egg yolk, and adding in the vanilla and cinnamon she had to quickly grab from the cupboard in front of her. with that done, she slapped a small cut of butter into the pan and watched it slowly melt from the heat - she smiled at this, heavens know why she did. she continued by dunking the first two slices of bread in the bowl then tossed it into the pan, and as they made contact with the iron, it was safe to say she can remember how to cook again. though... some of the times she made dishes in the past caused her proud smile to drop.</p><p>"i'm back! sorry it took a bit, ran into a friend also walking her dog," exclaimed doug, as they walked through the front door and took off the leash on jazz. "it smells wonderful in here, i'm guessing you figured out something?" they asked when they saw her shuffle over, a plate with a few pieces of french toast on it. with the maple syrup and powered sugar on top of it, it even looked wonderful in their humble opinion. they thanked her and took it, starting to eat as they listened to her speak up.<br/>"yes, i suppose i did use to love cooking and baking, but i was reminded of how my husband acted while i did." she looked at them to see if they were ready to take in her next statement. charlotte explained best she could that sam was a drinker, and him being a drinker meant he often got drunk; there are episodes upon episodes of him shouting vulgar things when she hadn't done anything, threatening to do violent acts upon her, and much more.</p><p>this stumped them, they didn't think sam was the type to be an alcoholic or say these sort of phrases to another person, especially his wife. from what they witnessed, he was a very loving and appreciative husband - they were not sure if she was remembering this right.<br/>"that's certainly interesting," replied doug, after swallowing the bite they took of their food. "i'll keep it in the back of my head, but it doesn't have much to do with the case. don't be discouraged, though! i'm sure if we do activities together you'll be able to conclude the place of where you were... you know." charlotte only watched them eat the rest of the plate, no response needed. was it really not important? to her, it seemed rather strange that she'd be threatened with getting hurt then one week she was, resulting in her death day. she kept watching them as they traveled to the kitchen to rid of the dishes, and wash whatever mess she had made.</p><p>oh well, back to square one, then.</p><p>-</p><p>"why are you bothering me with this, doug? i've moved on, it's time for you to do the same." on this particular afternoon, sam was in more of an angsty mood than usual, which shouldn't be shocking when his co-worker is bringing up his dead ex-spouse for no real reason. "i was always too busy with work to pay attention to her personal schedule, is that a good enough answer?"<br/>"come on, sam, you had to be there whenever you had days off! or when you two had date nights, you can't take a moment to rethink it?" asked doug, at this rate practically begging for some sort of proper information; they weren't making much progress with charlotte alone with no background knowledge. defeated, he sighed and took off his shades, tucking them into his pocket.<br/>"from what i used to see when she was home from her job, she read old books, she knitted sweaters for cats, she talked on the phone with friends- basic stuff, really. i think she enjoyed playing that nintendo shit, but hell if i know, she stopped getting on the systems some odd number of years into our marriage. we done here?" he asked after recollecting the memories they hoped he fondly looked back on. they nodded at his question and thanked him, relieved he never mentioned the interest sparking up again out of no where.</p><p>they turned their head to cast their covered gaze to the ground, ignoring him and rob discuss topics far from what they were just on. he was right, those hobbies weren't foreign at all, however the pro to that was it is easier to experiment with since they are common. reading, knitting, calling - they had novels, they had money to buy knit supplies, and they had a cellphone, check those off the list. they figuratively crossed their fingers for good luck, holding onto the draining hope they had left for the woman. their zoning out was interrupted by sam whistling, which made them turn to look around to see what was going on; a beanie's chick was walking over to the trio, immediately making them uncomfortable. they knew what was going to happen, and just by glancing over at rob they could tell he wasn't quite prepared for the interaction, either.</p><p>they were quick to get back to daydreaming and missed just about everything sam and zoey went on and on about. soon enough, the shift wrapped itself up, and doug rushed back to their house to inform the angel of the facts that have been brought to their attention.</p><p>-</p><p>next sunday came around, and the duo had yet to figure out the two important elements of the mid-fall plight. she managed to process the names of who she worked with, what they were like, and her relationship with them; the weekends of when she would do laundry or tend to her garden; the stories of how she became very attached with cats and began to knit for them; she even could info-dump the entire plot and sequence to a book series she read in freshmen year of college. it was like a her prologue for doug, due to them not knowing much about charlotte despite the obvious details of her character thanks to her husband, but it slowly and surely irritated them they were getting no where. they hit a roadblock ever since she made breakfast seven-days prior, and they're sure she wanted this over with more than they did.</p><p>"you just had to be invisible to everyone else. if others can see you, i would've took us to town and you could have retraced old steps around the grocery stores or mall or whatever the fuck," complained doug, as they flopped on their bed and ran a hand through their hair. they felt bad to express this annoyance, though what else were they supposed to do? pretend they are happy that they are not able to assist to her needs as fast as they wanted to? "i've ran out of ideas, perhaps you can start living here on earth again and be built into my daily life without the constant pressure of figuring shit out."<br/>"no, my time here is done. i need to write an end to this drag of an essay. i want to pass in peaceful rest," argued charlotte, as she stepped over to the side of the bed. oh man, their first disagreement - only after a few days, too, a record for only doug.</p><p>they crossed their arms over their chest, ignoring their cold badge they were still wearing. "i never believed in all that religious talk, and i never will. there is no peaceful land after we die, and you aren't an angel. hell, i could've been letting a kooky, undocumented canadian in my house for all i know! i should just do what sam said and let all this go already." they turned on their side facing away from her, now focused on a sleeping jazz next to them. ouch, maybe that was a bit much to shut her down like that. they admit, they don't think she's lying - it's confusing still but they shouldn't form a mindset based around a feeling, it's a bit petty of them to do so. there was sudden movement that caused doug to turn their head and fix their gaze on charlotte, who was now straddling them with her wings spread out. she looked angry. she had never looked like that.</p><p>"i'm not an angel? i'm not a fucking angel? listen here, you don't know what i've been through, no matter how many times i will have to shove it down your throat." she spat at the cop below her, choosing to ignore the excessive tears kissing her cheeks over and over again. "i don't care if you aren't religious, i'm here right now trying to make sense of what happened to me. what else do i have to do to prove i'm not some hallucination? because i can do this all day, i have the time." she leaned down to be closer to them, faces apart by a few inches - she read their expression, they were aghast at the sudden change in her attitude. for an officer, it was not too difficult to get their adrenaline going. "now that that is settled, i came up with one last thing we can do."</p><p>"o- oh, what's that?" asked doug, as they tried their best to cover up their weak tone. man, they were the one who was supposed to radiate bde, they had to up their game now.<br/>"we go in each room of the house, and reenact how i was killed. it'll click which room was the right place that it went down in my own home," answered charlotte, as she pulled away from them and folded her wings back to where they belong. she slipped off of them and watched as they sat up; "are you sure about that? i'd feel awful to make you relive that moment."<br/>"i'm sure." and that was that, they didn't try arguing with her over this. for the following hour, they positioned themselves in every spot of the house in order to do what she suggested, no luck found with each attempt.</p><p>entering the bathroom with low confidence, charlotte glanced in the mirror, all she saw was their uniform they were required to wear to work - she already began to feel weird about this. "your bathroom setup is close to mine." she commented, earning a chuckle from them as they stood in the bright room.<br/>"yeah, the designs tend to be copy-pasted all over hatchetfield, it isn't a surprise it is familiar." they replied and leaned against the sink counter, keeping an eye on her. they always did, yet she felt uneasy. she slowly nodded then held up her hands, a signal to them to go ahead with mimicking what her attacker did; they got used to doing it that they didn't hesitate to push her against the wall, finger jabbed at her side and hand gripped on her neck. there was no real pressure applied at all during this or the previous times, but this time it made her begin to "cry" again.</p><p>doug removed their hands away once they noticed, opening their mouth to ask something but was cut off by her quiet voice.<br/>"he did it. he's the one who got me, doug. sam killed me while i was trying to get ready for bed." her saying it aloud made her feel sick, who knew angels could feel sick? they stared at her in disbelief for a moment before pulling her into a hug, not sure this is what she wanted or needed, but kept her close when she returned the embrace. was this why that one day sam was trying to shut them down of the topic? he didn't want to be reminded of what he did, and accidentally spill the truth? the sickness in their gut boiled into rage. he pretended to care when she went missing, he acted like he was hurt to find out what happened, he faked being depressed for months and months after being told that. they even had the audacity to think charlotte was remembering wrong last saturday - god, the guilt that exploded just then was horrid.</p><p>"i need to go report this right now, i can't wait until tomorrow, this needs to get out so everyone knows he isn't the trustworthy cop they know and love."<br/>"please don't go," said charlotte, as she clenched onto their shirt to ensure they wouldn't pull away. "i- i don't want you to go just yet. please stay here. think about how you'll report it first." she begged, keeping her face shoved in their shoulder as her tears soaked into their shirt; a black spot would be staying there for a day or two. doug let out a sigh and tightened their arms that were around her, promising silently they wouldn't leave - they couldn't leave, now that she was in such a state. angels having mood swings was something they never thought they'd be taught. they weren't complaining.</p><p>the rest of the evening was spent sitting in the bathroom, scripting what they will bring to the station and prove the accusation of sam is true. they hoped this would go through, she didn't fall from the heavens to attach herself onto them and find out the past as a fun game, just the beginning sounded abnormal to them. imagine going into depth on the full, unlawful investigation...</p><p>-</p><p>"it's done, charlotte. he was found guilty and locked behind bars." the two were sitting at the table, having a final tea time together as they spoke about sam. doug stirred their spoon in their cup in a repeating pattern, nothing added as they did, as they listened to her drink the rest of her hot beverage that was the same flavor as the one she was given the first time. they shifted their eyes to look at her, and were glad to see she had a small smile tugged at the ends of her mouth.<br/>"so he's done for then? what a relief, it's a lovely thing for the town to know who he really was," said charlotte, as she stood from the chair and went to the sink to wash her cup out. they didn't respond, they didn't want to talk anymore, the day was long and they wished to sit in silence with her for another long while.</p><p>they know they shouldn't have but they've grown fond of her. they got used to her ghostly exterior and appreciated her soft interior, they got used to her presence in their house 24/7. they were so used to her that they didn't want her to leave; if she were able to visit like a living being, then yes, that would have been a whole other story. but that isn't possible, she has to return to her new home and sleep for the rest of eternity, more content than she ever was. doug closed their eyes to hold back their own sadness, they felt stupid they wanted to cry over this. they felt ridiculous to want to be with charlotte: as a friend, as a roommate, as a partner, as a lover - they didn't know, and they didn't care. they think of themself as selfish for how they were right at the moment, and they have yet to have the solid talent in controlling the dread of... being alone. go back to being alone. they flinched when a hand rested on their shoulder, sniffing and clearing their throat after a second.</p><p>"you are upset, why is that?" asked charlotte in a warm tone, her hand staying where it was placed. doug couldn't meet her eye.<br/>"i'll feel silly if i say it, it's nothing."<br/>"there is no such thing as nothing, there's always something."<br/>"how poetic, that's something i'll miss about you." they weakly grinned up at her, indirectly admitting to what their problem was. it was obvious to her, she wasn't an idiot, she sensed something were to happen but there is no way to prevent it. charlotte had to go - she was technically gone in the first place - and the desire to stay on the rotting planet with a person she has grown to care for would not be enough to let her get out of leaving. she knew this, so did doug, and doug knew it wouldn't be entirely healthy to stay inside all day with an apparition every human was blind to. it just couldn't be resolved.</p><p>"you got your justice, you deserve to rest now." they told her then finished their own tea, standing up to deal with the now empty dish. "don't worry about me. i should have tried to help you while you where physically here, but-"<br/>"i was never thought of, i'm aware. i'm not upset about that, in fact i'm way happier with meeting you like this, otherwise you would block me off and say it was just your imagination coping with the loss if we were ever close friends." she finished off their sentence, taking their cup to put it aside then slid her hands into theirs. was doug always this cold? "i appreciate you very much, i can't express it enough." she told them and looked down at their fingers that were intertwined together; "i am set to leave at sunrise, and the current time is midnight. we have the rest of the night to be together."</p><p>"sounds great to me." they said with a sad chuckle, feeling her thumb wipe away the regular tear. what did the duo do for the final hours of charlotte's visit on earth, you may ask? they didn't do nothing, yet they also didn't do anything. they sat on the rooftop, gazing up at the stars and basking in their beauty, hands still held and sides leaned into each other. they were at ease with her, they took this time for granted. at the first sight of the navy blue sky fading into another shade on the opposite side of the color wheel, doug felt her slip away from besides them and stand up on her feet. they watched her silently, they assumed she needed to focus. charlotte faced towards the direction where the sun rises awake, spreading her wings one last time for them to admire; she looked back at them to get a final image of what they looked like. infatuated, that's what she can describe them as. she gave a smile then turned her focus back at the sun, jumping off the ledge - with a single flap of her wings, she shot up in the air like a reverse lighting bolt, out of sight in less than a second.</p><p>doug stayed on their roof until the sky was bright and alive, no rush to drop their head from the direction she departed to. they were a changed person after this. if you were to tell them while they were just joining the hatchetfield police they are going to meet and fall in love with a victim of domestic abuse that was a fallen angel, they'd laugh at the comment and go on with what they were doing before being interrupted.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. guess.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hannah and lex. sfw. // hannah is thirteen in this, just to clarify because in an a chapter at the beginning i made her too young.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>she sat far under the table that was in her trailer, knees brought up to her chest and eyes clouded with tears. she had been sitting here for a while, fiddling with her pigtail to try and help her overwhelmed nerves, but it was no use. ever since hannah woke up this morning, all she heard was webby talking to her - telling her it isn't safe and encouraging her to run away. sure, it wasn't like she isn't aware of how bad her home life was, but this is not about that.</p><p>webby kept mentioning blue, a color she never was too fond of herself, and songs, which she didn't like unless it was her sister's playlist. she didn't get it, but it scared her. scared her enough to hide, ditch going to school, hope her mom didn't hear her take occasional deep breaths. she closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall; god, she wished her sister were here, to hold her in her arms and tell her everything was going to be all right. she couldn't do this alone, she had to tell someone, but she didn't have anyone - other than webby.</p><p>hannah held her breath when she heard the door open, quiet footsteps marching up the steps and onto the carpet floor. from where she was sitting, she can tell they were lex's combat boots, which made her grin in this unfortunate matter of thoughts. she planned to crawl out and greet her sibling, yet webby screamed not to, screamed not to interact with the infected. infected? infected as in sick? was lexi sick? she blinked in confusion then heard her mom slur something towards her.</p><p>"what are you doin' here? didn't i tell ya not to come back until tonight, you stupid child?" asked her mom, unsure on where she was or what she was doing. from the sound of her voice, she was lying down in a more comfortable spot of the trailer, and already began her game of drinking her life away. there wasn't a response, in fact there was a long pause that made hannah's skin crawl. it didn't feel right. in another moment, a noise of shock came from her mother and a sound she could not identify, making her more lost than before.</p><p>"banana, i know you're here, you can come out," said lex, in a sing-song voice. she froze for a moment, unable to move, not aware what will happen if she did, or how she could escape if it was dangerous. "we can play hide and seek all you want after today, but i need you to do a little something for me." she said as she crept over to the table slowly, her legs coming into the young girl's view. she saw them come to a stop and watched as she got down on her knees. hannah likes to think she ignored the bloody blade in her sister's hand.</p><p>"there you are! were you hiding from our mean ol' bitch of a mom? don't worry, she won't be bothering us anymore, banana." she said with a grin, an unnatural grin, and unblinking eyes that glowed bright. she held out her free hand, the one dry of stains, and hannah hesitantly took it into hers. after being pulled out from under the table, she received a hug from lex, this preventing her from seeing what is become of their mother. the hug was cold, different from her usual warm and comforting embraces. this wasn't her lex.</p><p>hannah tried to pull away. "not lexi, blue blood!" she struggled to say, noticing she tightened her arms around her, her eyes widening in a panic. she didn't like this, she felt trapped, she struggled to move and to fight against the hug.<br/>"now, now, what's with all this fussing? i came back to take you to california, hannah! me and ethan- ethan and i, we got the funds. we have the car. we can get the hell out of here, and you can be in such a better world," explained lex, with a sickening grin. it was all fake, all of it, but hannah calmed down as she listened to her baited words. she closed her eyes and pressed her face against her sister's chest.</p><p>lex ran the bloody hand through her hair, humming softly to reassure the child nothing was to be feared, and there was nothing wrong with her. she would promise that hannah would not be hurt, would not feel any pain after dealing with her whole life for so long, but that would be a lie; a lie that is never said as ethan came up to the two, behind hannah, with an axe.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. heartbeat.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>mcnamander. non-descriptive nsfw to sfw.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>the beating in his ear added to the sharp sensations, a shiver ran down his spine as he heard the final heavy breaths leave the other. with a final thrust into xander, mcnamara kept still for a moment until he could feel the tension and pleasure gradually leave him, and let out his own tired sigh. it's been a while since the couple have done anything with each other, usually too busy with their quite serious jobs to take part in intimate nights - no exception to them being exhausted after each day. both being stressed, it was a way to calm one another's nerves and organize their thoughts in order to actually talk about what was on their minds.</p><p>"your heart sounded as if it would burst," mumbled mcnamara, as he lied down next to his husband and snaked his arms around his waist. he was always more affectionate after their little activities, which xander missed the most from these evenings.<br/>"adrenaline gets to the best of us, and a bit of nervousness. haven't done much for months, guess i forgot what it felt like." he replied back to his comment, and stayed close to him, ignoring the sweat both had stained on their skin. he isn't going to let a little bit of body fluids stop him from cuddling his personal heater.</p><p>mcnamara shifted just a bit in order to spoon him, pressing his face into his neck, his beard tickling at his skin. "i suppose that's logical. i can feel it now, it isn't as intense now." he closed his eyes, hand flat against his chest where his heart should be. he was right, it beats at a relaxed pace.<br/>"it's a good break, all the national situations coming up and the small amount of fear haven't been sitting right. i'm worried for what is to come," said xander, as he ran a hand up to hold his. "we can already draw that uncle wiley is colonel cross, and he has something to do with that entity. doesn't he seem rather powerful than he was when we first discovered of his existence?"</p><p>"right. hm. thirteen years can be enough for whatever we are dealing with to try and go through with what they have planned. it must be a pretty big ploy, considering how many times even our own channels were disrupted with that stupid jingle," replied mcnamara, as he found himself too out of it to talk about what has his partner worried lately. at least he has the gist of what goes on in his mind. xander closed his eyes and nuzzled his face into the bed sheets; "that jingle is worse than what major maxon plays in the morning. i'm just glad no one here is falling for it, given that they should be aware of the possible danger behind it." he commented and smiled at the noise he heard come from the other.</p><p>mcnamara patted his chest then moved his hand to rest on the bed. "don't mention it, i'm still trying to get used to it, but he never tells us when he will go with next. he's too enthusiastic for his own good."<br/>"ah, i find it fun, i've learned to let it happen and i tend to tune it out. he's been trying to teach me korean, it isn't going well. anyway-" he cut himself off with a yawn, though didn't continue his thought. since when did those two get along? it didn't bother the general, but clearly he has missed out on something. he put a kiss on his shoulder then tightened his arms around him.</p><p>"time to sleep?" asked xander, as he half-expected for a hum in agreement to attempting to rest after the day they had. which he did, mcnamara made a sound of confirmation that he was ready to get some shut eye; the snoring that followed moments later made the physicist chuckle quietly to himself. oh, he truly hoped that wilbur didn't have any tricks up his metaphorical sleeves - he didn't want to face the reality he may not be able to be comfortable in bed with his lover much after the events that could take place on black friday. he didn't wish to think of these anxieties before sleeping, so instead he shifted his attention onto the warmth of the general behind him and slipped away to, what he liked to call, drowsy-town.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. ice.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>emma and tim. sfw.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"aunt emma, i don't know about this," said tim, as he watched the few people in the ice rink zoom around in circles. it looked fun and would be quite an activity, though he does not think it fits his style - he rather be safe and warm in bed with his video games.<br/>"come on, ya gotta make childhood memories! see, i'm god awful with normal skating, but i'm amazing at this. i can give you pointers," replied emma, brushing off his unsure stance as she paid the proper price for an entrance fee and slips of paper to get their skates.</p><p>winter break, something the housten and perkins family did not enjoy so much anymore. it's been longer than two years since the incident, which is an excuse for emma to try and get everyone to slowly make the progress of moving on from the pain. turn the pain into a fond memory, that's the hope, and her first mission was to make up the lost bonding time with tim. ice skating wasn't popular to the residents in hatchetfield, which was understandable from the town being small, yet she believed she could make this a yearly hang out.</p><p>tim followed his aunt over to a bench and watched her struggle to shove her foot in a skate. "uh, well, i'm worried the sharp part will hurt one of us. i'm not the best at keeping balance." he told her his concern and played with the cuff of his sleeve. emma, again, dismissed this and put on her other skate, then tied the laces; "you'll be great! i can hold your hands as we glide and ensure you don't fall." she gestured to the smaller pair and smiled, clear she wants him to go with this activity. he did what she wanted without putting up a fight and slipped on his skates, tying the laces so they were extra tight and secure.</p><p>on the ice, it wasn't easy to help the young boy at first; he was too set on staying in an odd position in order not to fall, and kept his hands gripping onto the railings of the wall. he refused to cooperate for what seemed like a good ten minutes, but after gaining her trust, he had a death grip on her arms as she slowly began to glide backwards.<br/>"it's all right, take a deep breath. don't freak out when you think you're tilting to the side," said emma, as she glanced between him and their feet. "just- stay focused on me, don't look down too much." she continued in hopes to relax him into doing it on his own.</p><p>he bit at his bottom lip and looked up at emma, distressed. tim did what she advised, now able to clearly map out the acne scars and specs of what he assumed was the powder from her makeup. she had close features to his mom, which wasn't a surprise given that they were sisters, but it made him feel more reassured that things will be okay. perhaps it was a bit rude of him to need to think of emma as his mother in order to function properly; though it may not be too bad if he never tells her.</p><p>"i think i'm getting the hang of it," said tim, as he slowly pulled himself away from emma and began to move on his own. he stayed by her side just in case he accidentally fell, and a grin tugged at the ends of his mouth - he was doing it, he was skating on ice! she laughed lightly and clapped for a second.<br/>"there we go! see? i told you that you'd be great!" she exclaimed and pointed over at the farthest wall. "let's test and see if you can make it over there without me, okay? i'll still be close, though." his aunt skated a few feet away and stayed at his pace, not wanting to intimidate him so early in the progress.</p><p>becoming cocky, tim nodded at what she said then went the way over to the wall, determined to grab the railing without fail. of course, as he did, he had a few slip-ups he managed to catch and get back on track; unfortunately, at the very last minute, one of tim's foot slid into his other boot and caused him to flop forward on the ice. emma panicked when she saw this happen and went to his side as fast as she could, crouching down and putting a knee on the floor to keep herself still. oh man, this was not supposed to happen at all.</p><p>"hey? are you okay, tim?" she asked as she gently put her hands on his shoulders, looking down at him. there wasn't any cuts that she could see, he could leave here with a few bruises on his front. he lifted himself up on his hands and outstretched his legs in order to keep his feet apart; "yeah, i am, i think i want to take a break." he said, allowing his aunt to help him get back on his feet and stroll over to the path that leads them out the rink. it was quiet between the two for a moment, emma not exactly sure how to comfort him after the downfall.</p><p>the two were sitting on a bench in the area where guests could leave their things, taking occasional sips of their sodas and watching the others enjoy their fun. emma scratched at her wrist and let out a sigh. "i guess we should've kept it at baby steps. i'm sorry, tim, i know it was stressful and now it doesn't seem like something you'd wanna do after that fall."<br/>"i mean, it isn't your fault, i should take risks every now and again. i was pretty excited to have balance," replied tim, after drinking some of his soda. "but i want to get back to it, i don't wanna be seen as a loser for giving up so early." this caused his aunt to smile down at him and ruffle his hair.</p><p>"even if you did, you would still be a cool kid in my book." she said then chugged the rest of her drink, letting out a burp that made tim laugh in amusement. she apologized, somewhat embarrassed, but she got a thumbs up and a 'nice' from the child. emma has to admite, she was certainly glad she came back to hatchetfield and got back into contact with her only family left - it brought her more happiness than she ever would have thought.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. infatuation.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>alice/deb, sof. sfw.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"you're staring again, deb," commented sof, as she slid her phone back in the pocket of her hoodie and looked over in the direction her friend was distracted by. every day as they ate their small lunch in the court yard before heading to their usual smoke spot, deb tended to try and search for a certain girl that sat near the cafeteria doors, reading a book. it was one of the few highlights of her schooldays, when she did go, considering she could never find this girl around town while out and about.</p><p>"i just think she's neat, leave me alone," said deb, as she turned her gaze back down to her lunch tray and bit into her apple slice. ugh, the fruit there tasted terrible - it was already bad enough the only vegan-friendly meal she can buy is the dry salads. "i don't see why i'm not allowed to glance over at someone that dresses nicely every day."<br/>"uh-huh, right, she does have a specific style, doesn't she? reminds me of my twin's fashion." she leaned back against the wall and crossed her arms behind her head.</p><p>thinking about it, the girl did have a similar vibe to bea, but instead of yellow she had light pinks and dark reds. deb put the rest of the apple slice in her mouth and moved her gaze up towards her again, a sudden panic running through her when she noticed the girl was staring at her. the girl noticed then dipped her head back into the book she had been reading; she must've thought she got away with it, but the stoner wasn't an idiot.<br/>"i need to know her name, sof."</p><p>"then go up and ask her, bro, it isn't that hard. since when are lesbians so scared of talking to girls? y'all are attracted to them," said sof with a snicker, as she opened one of her eyes to see if she thought it was funny. she did not.<br/>"listen, i know i'm butch, but i ain't got a lick of knowledge when it comes to flirtin' with a femme! if she even is a femme," replied deb, feeling bad she automatically assumed the girl was also into females.</p><p>sof let out another laugh and put her hands on her, pushing her a bit. she didn't know anything about being a wing man, though she wasn't about to continue witnessing her friend have a thirty minute session of admiring a random student halfway across the courtyard. "go on, just ask what she's reading, maybe mention you need help with your reading class, then boom! you have a fresh ass tutoring session. anything can happen at a tutor session! you get to find out her name, perhaps see if she's into women, that sort of thing."</p><p>deb fixed her beanie as her friend spoke, the thought of such made her smile. she was debating whether or not this was a good idea - it would clear out if she should continue her not-so-subtle infatuation with the girl or not, and it would genuinely help her in her class since she had low grades in every single one. she let out a huff then set her lunch tray aside; "take care of this for me, homie, i'm goin' in."<br/>"fuck yeah! get a piece of that gal, deb!"<br/>"okay, calm down." she scrunched her face at the comment then stood up.</p><p>heading over to the spot the girl was sitting at, she felt a nervous knot her stomach. it won't be hard to ask a few simple questions, right? she is just curious, nothing more, nothing less. "excuse me?" she spoke up once standing in front of her, hands deep in her pockets and curls in the way of her face. the girl on the ground shot her head up to look at her and held her open book close to her chest. she didn't say a word, and it made the interaction more awkward than she thought it would've been.</p><p>"i was wonderin' what you were readin'? and, uh, if you could help me with sum' assignments in my readin' class?" asked deb, as she tapped her foot a bit to distract from the weird tension building up. she saw the girl physically relax and flash her a smile; "good omens, that's the title. it isn't an assigned story by my teacher, but i'm more than happy to help you. who do you have? what are you reading?" oh, now she was asking the questions, she didn't expect that. it stumped her for a moment as she was too focused on how sweet her voice sounded.</p><p>deb cleared her throat and brushed the curls out of her eyes. "miss lee, and we're readin' some george orwell book. i don't understand the themes 'n references, and context is hard to understand, i s'pose." she tried her best to explain, she wasn't even sure if her class was reading books by that specific author. she watched as the girl tapped her chin in thought then grabbed her phone; she found herself smiling at the star phone case and bird charm hanging on the device.</p><p>the girl put her phone back in her backpack then looked up at her once more. "i had plans to go to the library today and study for my big geometry test, are you able to join? i should, uh, warn you that it'll be in the next town over." she offered with a little grin, the lipstick she wore bold and bright. deb gave her a nod, knowing full well her mom wouldn't mind her sudden plans if she just told her where she was, then pointed a thumb behind her.<br/>"my friend has her license, she can take us if your parents don't want to."</p><p>"i take the public bus to and from clivesdale, i trust that more. uh- not to be rude! i just prefer that, and my mom would prefer it, as well," stuttered the girl, as she played with her nails. makes sense, she didn't take any offense to it - she wouldn't trust a random group of teens that were known for smoking pot to take her anywhere. deb gave her another nod then quickly pulled out her phone, handing it to the girl; "put in your number so i can text ya in seventh period and ask about where to meet up, okay?"</p><p>the girl tapped the screen to enter in her phone number, along with giving the contact her name so it was easy to find in the list. "there! it takes a few for the bus to get to the spot, so you don't have to worry about if your class if far from the front of the school." she reassured and let deb take her phone back, not acknowledging she checked the name she entered. after a few seconds, the bell rang, alerting that it was time to head back to their learning. deb helped her on her feet and they said their goodbyes, and walked away from each other.</p><p>"alice," muttered deb, as she watched sof step her way with their bags. she thought the name fit her, it sounded kind. she truly hoped she would be able to say it more as time passes.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. ink.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>melissa. sfw.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>the words thought of for days were beginning to temporarily slip from melissa, her mind blank as she stared down at the small post card that could only fit a limited amount lines of text. she hasn't seen her colonel friend in over a month, and so much happened in this short length of time she just had to share it before it was forgotten. every few minutes or so, she would lift up her pen and uncap it, repeat the gesture of almost setting the tip on the paper, then take it away and set it down again. it was as if she didn't remember how to write a letter after doing this for quite a few years.</p><p>what she wanted to say just didn't sound right in any sentence formed, she even had a spare piece of lined paper to draft out different words or stories that might or might not be added. it was a struggle, considering schaeffer wasn't exactly the most literature reader in the bunch of peip members, and she didn't want the woman to struggle reading key words that was middle school vocabulary.<br/>she let out a frustrated sigh then stood up from the living room floor, traveling into the kitchen to make herself some new brand of tea she wanted to try. she hopes to mention this to schaeffer, they both love their tea very much.</p><p>while the tea kettle stood on the burning stove top, personally melissa's favorite to use, she watched her cat stroll around the small space like she never explored it. she smiled at the curious kitty then picked her up, holding her how mothers would with their little babies. perhaps she'll mention mew mew was doing okay, if the colonel would care to know how the feline that made her go into sneezing fits has been. better than talking about the teases and jokes shared at work that hit too close to home; that'll just make the woman angry at her co-workers that want a little fun in their drag-on shifts.</p><p>she smoothed out the white fur on mew mew's back, ignoring the hairs that puffed off and danced their way to the floor - she should probably sweep up her apartment after her tea and letter session. melissa set the cat on the ground again in order to take the kettle off the stove, pouring the hot water into her softball themed mug that already had a tea bag resting inside. the calming smell caused her to grin and think about this being another brand she'd buy often for herself, and perhaps schaeffer if she would also appreciate the aroma and flavor.<br/>she has to know now.</p><p>melissa went back to the coffee table and set her things down, immediately grabbing her pen and scribbling away, the fluffy design on the end of the tool tickling at her skin. it would be seen as rambling on about truly nothing to anyone else who happened to lay their eyes on the card, however this would definitely be cherished by schaeffer whenever she had the chance to stick a stamp on it and mail it to her:</p><p>'hi schaeff i wanted to write to you since it's been a while ! i've been very happy lately but miss you, same with the mew mew, she enjoys it when you visit :))!! i bought this new brand of tea and currently i am living for it, you gotta try it haha i hope work hasn't been too stressful ! for me it's been okay just office employees fooling around nothing too special. stay safe, write back if you can, maybe even share a fun story- i always like hearing them :)'</p><p>she signed her name with a little paw print at the end and reread it a few times. she scoffed at how messy it was then set it aside, deciding it was good enough. melissa would mail it out the following day out of being impatient, the person behind the desk at the post office greeting her every time she had a card to send, and she would anticipate the arrival and response back for weeks.<br/>sure, sometimes schaeffer didn't reply and it would bring her a wave of anxiety, but that usually meant she was coming to visit soon; she hoped that was going to be the case this time as she waited day after day.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. kiss.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>charlotte/doug. sfw.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>they know they should be listening, but they weren't. they focused in and out of what she was saying, only occasionally giving a nod or verbal response to the conversation. what was distracting them exactly? it was a bit embarrassing for them to admit that charlotte's decision to put on makeup for their date that evening was what kept making them zone out. not that it was bad, no, doug thought she had a secret talent with the skill - they just couldn't stop glancing down at her lipstick. bold, that's the word to describe the color, and personally they thought she appeared more kissable because of it.</p><p>doug couldn't just force charlotte to stop talking in order to get what they want, though, that action would be a bit rude and unpredictable for her. she was too involved talking about a video game she grew up with, explaining the basic plot at first then slipping into the deeper and longer details that needed to happen within the game play. it was rather interesting to learn about, even if they weren't getting all the information, and cute that she seemed to be very passionate about the specific piece of media. it made them smile.</p><p>"oh my, i must've been talking for this entire date," said charlotte suddenly, as she softly laughed at the realization. "we are already almost done with dinner and you haven't talked about anything."<br/>"it's nothing to worry about, i rather listen than speak," replied doug, before they sat up straighter to show they were tuned in from their short moment of being in their thoughts. this was their dynamic, one person went off about whatever the topic changed to, and the other took in the strings of words that would now and again overlap and mix up. the couple liked it this way, however, it made both happy and comfortable.</p><p>"well, you seem to have quite some things on your mind tonight. what are you thinking, honey?" she asked, picking up her glass of sweet tea in order to drink the little that was left in the cup. oh, right, she must've caught on with all their mannerisms and habits at this point - which included how they emoted while mentally out of reality. doug shifted their legs and avoided her sweet gaze, she should know they are terrible with explaining themself.<br/>"uh, you. admiring you. i just like how you look, and you sound so excited about your zelda game, i love it." they paused a few times in between their words. why was talking to her hard? they've been dating for almost a year, this would have to get annoying to charlotte at some point.</p><p>"and your lipstick is probably my favorite," added doug, as they pointed at their own lips just to physically show what they were bringing up. charlotte only laughed at her partner as she put her glass back down; "you're silly, dear. i'm glad it was you being internally gay than built-up stress you hadn't talked to me about."<br/>"very gay, i want a kiss." they said quickly after she finished her sentence, clear as day what they had in their small brain of theirs. this made her say a gentle 'oh', not expecting them to confess in a blunt way, but she didn't impose on what they wanted; after all, whenever doug applied their red lipstick those rare times, she felt the need to mess it up by pecking them more than a reasonable amount.</p><p>charlotte slipped out of her chair to step to the side of the table, leaning down to give doug a short kiss, the other gladly returning it to satisfy the desire they had the entire time. a minute passed and she pulled away, and gave them a cute grin that would make anyone's heart flutter.<br/>"happy?"<br/>"so happy." they gently grabbed her hand in order to give it a squeeze, listening to her giggle at them, then let her sit back down in her seat. doug should start teaching themself how to properly communicate in order to cash in more free pecks like that, it would benefit both of them in different ways.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. leaf.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hannah and ethan. sfw.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"all right, banana, promise me whatever you see today you won't tell anyone about it?" the teenage boy holding her hand spoke in a low voice, to which she could only assume was from to lay low... for some reason. she wasn't exactly sure, nor did she understand the not telling anyone bit.<br/>hannah simply stayed quiet as she watched him suspiciously glance around the perimeter, no one else seen walking down the sidewalks besides joggers; whoever they were trying to find must be running late, considering ethan was getting more frustrated as each minute passed.</p><p>as they stood in front of a random alleyway, hannah began to zone out on everything happening around them - the few cars occasionally passing, the two birds chasing each other, the leaves blowing in the weak wind. it relaxed her, definitely after a stressful day at school, and she was so interested in watching a trail of ants attempting to take crumbs to a crack in the pavement that she did not notice another dude coming up to ethan. she eventually, however, glanced over when she saw awkward gesturing from the two boys; a not-so-subtle exchange from a baggie of weed, to a thick roll of cash.</p><p>she listened to their few words, saying goodbye to each other, then felt ethan tug on her arm. "let's go see lex, maybe we can convince her to watch a movie with us after her shift." he said to try and move on from the scene that just occurred. she kept by his side as he walked, furrowing her brows in confusion; "bag of leaves?" she asked out loud and squeezed his arm.<br/>"webby doesn't think-"<br/>"hey, kid, what did i say?" he looked down at her and hushed her, a moment later feeling bad at the sudden snap. he had a business to run in order to save up funds to get all three of them the hell out of dodge, he didn't need hannah questioning where he is getting it from - nor does he want lex to get mad at him for exposing her more to the actions.</p><p>"they were maple leaves. you, uh, put them in your tea to give it a nice syrup flavor. lots of the rich kids do it, which is why i was paid for the cargo," explained ethan, as he shoved his free hand into his leather jacket's pocket. it was a huge lie that even he wouldn't believe as a kid, though for it being made up on the spot, he gave himself a pat on the back from that.<br/>"weird," replied hannah, as she looked down at the ground to find a rock to kick while they continued their adventure to lakeside. she seemed to not care anymore, good. this will make transactions in the future less stressful with her around.</p><p>now that the leaves were forgotten, ethan and hannah went on a small debate on what movie they should see if lex wasn't too exhausted after her shift - the options being "bohemian rhapsody" or "the darkest minds". unfortunately, these were ruled out with "ocean's 8" as it was decided by lex that is what she wanted to watch in spite of her boss treating her bad all day. hey, whatever made the girlfriend and sister happy made ethan and hannah happy.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. lie.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>alice and alice's mom (bethany). sfw. tw; homophobia, d-slur. // i'm lesbian and can use the slur in my writing, don't come at me.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>she's been out to her father for what seems to be two years already, receiving nothing but love and support from him. it took half the dread off her shoulders, having a parent that didn't look at her different from all her other friends, or all his other parent friends with kids. the remaining fear was directed towards her mother, which she did not think she was ready to tell her about her sexuality - let alone that her 'close friend' that sleep overs often was her girlfriend.</p><p>fortunately, for the past few years, alice's mother never seemed to be invested in her love life. what got on her nerves, though, was the smack talk regarding deb and bea's sister, sof. judging how they dress, the odd scent that they carry... it was clear bethany did not prefer these two kids, yet that was covered up with labeling bea as the best friend. that wasn't at all a lie, she just wished it didn't come down to ranking the people she cared for most.</p><p>her mind was a mess, as it always is when she goes back home to clivesdale - if she can even consider that home. if she can't be herself there, then why call it that? she has told bill before leaving she wanted to live with him until the day she moved out to be on her own, she didn't want to stay with her mom; she was a legal adult now, it shouldn't be hard to convince her, right? alice kept her gaze out the bus window, gathering her thoughts of what was discussed with him, and how to subtly bring up the topic with her mom.</p><p>bill had mentioned the only real way for her to "move out", or rather be kicked out, of bethany's house was to come out. she was a rather strict christian, unlike him, who wasn't going to have his personal morals be plagued by his religion. this made alice feel sick, she hadn't entirely experienced any sort of hate for being a lesbian, and she didn't think the first time should be from her own mother. but if there truly was no way to get out, then that is her very last resort. she gripped onto her bag strap when she noticed her stop was next, her breath shaky. it'll be okay. she'll be fine. nothing to worry about.</p><p>-</p><p>"you want to move in with your father?" asked bethany in shock, staring wide-eyed at her daughter. they were in the middle of dinner the night she got back from hatchetfield, and boy, did it get quite awkward. alice shifted slightly in her seat, fork prongs tapping the carrots on her plate - she couldn't meet her gaze.<br/>"uh, yeah, the college i want to go to is closer to where his house is. i heard it was a real nice school, highest rank between the two towns, surprisingly. i think i'd do better there." she gave her best to explain, and again, this wasn't entirely a lie. the college she wanted to go to was the only one in hatchetfield, and offers a good marine biology course - and she'd be able to see deb and her friends more often.</p><p>it was quiet for a moment, as if her mom was trying to grab the right words from the back of her mind; surely she saw this day would come, hadn't she? "no, alice, we talked about you going to that nice catholic school with the dorms only an hour away," replied bethany, as she resumed eating her meal. she was always set to send her daughter to a place that reminded her of her beliefs 24/7, after being at the high school in the town over for god knows how long. this caused her to lift her head up from her plate and make a face.</p><p>"when did we talk about that?" she lightly pressed, already getting a bit upset from that statement; "i don't remember us ever discussing where i'd be going, i never told you what career i wanted, either."<br/>"cut that attitude right now, alice, i won't tolerant the disrespect." she snapped back at her daughter and pointed her fork briefly at her. disrespect? all she did was question the thing she swore she does not recall happening, how was that disrespectful? alice set her own fork down and grabbed a handful of fabric from her skirt, this being a nervous habit of hers. clench, unclench, clench, unclench. keep calm.</p><p>before she said anything in response, her mom beat her to it: "is it a boy? is that why you want to stay in hatchetfield?" oh, that wasn't what she was expecting. alice blinked and shook her head in disbelief, forgetting for a moment she had yet to mention her lack of attraction to males.<br/>"no, why would-"<br/>"how come? you are eighteen now, and you have all the features that any man would love. hanging around with your friends isn't always good, you know," bethany cut her off. there it was, the sudden invitation to tease her girlfriend and friends. she chewed the inside of her cheek, staring at her mom and waiting for her to continue.</p><p>"i have a bad feeling about those girls rubbing you the wrong way, they don't even go to church! and if i'm being quite honest-" she lifted her glass of water- "they don't seem... healthy- traditional, i suppose is a less intense word."<br/>"what is that supposed to mean?" asked alice, as she sat up straighter. this was new, something she never thought her mother would inch into - bethany usually ignored the community, never talk about it around her just in case that had a bad influence on her. tonight seemed to be different now that she was an adult. her mother took a rather short sip of her drink and looked at her.</p><p>"what is with you today? you must agree that those girls you hang around have a strange interest in you," reasoned bethany, as if manipulating her daughter's thoughts to think like her would work. alice gritted her teeth for a moment and shook her head once more.<br/>"please, tell me what you mean by a 'strange interest', mother. i am all ears."<br/>"they're a bunch of dykes, dear, i see how deb stays particularly close to you and i hear how sof talks down about that one boy in your friend group." there it fucking was. never did she think she'd have to hear that word, that dehumanizing word, in her entire life.</p><p>she felt stuck, speechless, angry. she didn't know what to do, she just wanted to scream, leave. alice stood up from her chair and tossed the napkin from her lap on her plate of unfinished food. "i'm calling dad and leaving."<br/>"you can't do that, alice, why are you getting so upset with me?"<br/>"i can do whatever the hell i want! you even said it yourself, i'm eighteen! i am an adult! and those 'dykes' you mentioned? yeah, only one is, and she's my girlfriend. i'm calling and packing my shit." she spat out in frustration, making it absolutely clear what she meant and what she is doing. she left the dining room without taking much attention to her mother's negative expression.</p><p>-</p><p>they kept their distance while waiting for bill, her mother staying in the living room while alice was upstairs in her bedroom, tears coming and going. she packed the things she thought she'd need - the clothes she liked, the stuffed animals that didn't remind her of bad memories, the few books that didn't have any trace of religion. she had quite a number of bags, plus the one she initially brought, but it didn't matter. she was getting out of the house that made her feel entirely alone and silenced. it made her smile for a moment, yet she was still disturbed by earlier events.</p><p>her phone pinged with a message from her dad, saying he was in the driveway. finally. alice gathered her things, turned off the lights, and walked through the hallway - she planned to head straight to the front door and not say a word, she didn't have anything else to add. she grabbed the door handle, but froze when she heard her mother speak up in a casual yet heartbroken tone:<br/>"i pray for the cleansing of what those sinners did to my daughter."</p><p>"fuck you and your prayers." replied alice after a beat of silence, her voice calm despite the disgust she felt deep in her core. she opened the door and stepped out with a slam, showing that her so innocent and faithful child wasn't who she pretended to be for all those years. alice never saw or spoke to bethany again after this night.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. light.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>charlotte/doug. sfw.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>it happened again. the count was lost, she didn't remember how many times she was left alone in her silent home. charlotte would patiently wait in either the dining room or bedroom, passing the time with a number of different hobbies she enjoys; hoping that her husband, who she wished to call nasty adjectives, would come home to her. tonight was no different from the other days, this hurting her more since it was the thirteenth of the month: cuddle night. the nights she needed to spend with sam and bond with him, like the healthier times in the beginning of their marriage. she tried her best to stay on schedule, she really did, she didn't want to disappoint the councilor that nine out of ten times she checked in with by herself. sam didn't care, he tends to forget, either on purpose or accident... she didn't know.</p><p>charlotte currently was in bed, tapping away on her laptop in search for nothing particular as she gave an attempt to refrain from checking the time every few minutes. two hours late, no update from sam in the many forms of communication. she had already gave into the usual fear that something went wrong at work, or perhaps he simply forgot and was spending more time at his shift - to her guilt, she would think that he intentionally skipped coming home, maybe to avoid charlotte or to get with another woman. it wasn't too obscure of an assumption. she closed her eyes and let out a slow, shaky breath, in hopes that this would take her mind off that last accusation.</p><p>she could do the whole night herself, this being the case way too often, but she... wasn't in the mood. she knows the term "cuddle night" meant engaging in sexual situations, though she rather liked the simple action of snuggling close to your partner and lying in silence. that would be nice, wouldn't it? she doesn't remember the last time sam held her in his arms in their bed, no dirty desires in mind, just soft affection - she needed that soft affection. but she can't exactly hit up any of her coworkers and ask if they'd be willing to do such a thing, especially since majority of them are males, and all were aware of what tonight was meant for. she'll just have to wrap herself in her fluffy blankets and cuddle her moomin plush, or her favorite kitty, lyon.</p><p>this sounded like a lovely plan to do in another few minutes until she jumped at the sound of her phone alerting her she received a message. a part of charlotte got excited to believe it was sam finally responding, yet another part of her said it was a spam text and to ignore it. well, if it was spam, easier to open it and delete it from her list of her phone number directs. turns out the message came from one of sam's coworkers, and one of her friends, doug; she blinked for a moment, lost on why they were suddenly interested in her at this hour. she closed the lid to her laptop, the only light now beaming from was her phone screen and small, nightstand lamp that was so dim that it couldn't keep the entire room alight.</p><p>mx doug; hey lottie, you doing okay ? (sent 11:46 p.m.)</p><p>charlotte stared down at the blue bubble of words, lightly nibbling on her thumb nail as she tried to think of an excuse, or a question to ask them. all they wanted to know was if she is okay, and to be honest, she did not quite know - she assumed they just got off work and, considering her own friends at her job knows about tonight, wanted an update from her. does she mention she is alone? mention she was a little sad? she didn't expect replying to someone about her feelings that they want to hear about would be so difficult; charlotte didn't think she would feel good about bothering them with her issues.</p><p>char; i'm okay :) just sleepy. (delivered 11:58 p.m.)</p><p>that totally is convincing, she thought to herself as she set the device down on her thigh and kept her head hung. the three dots popped up only seconds later, making charlotte smile at how quick they were to get back to her - unlike some people. she shook her head to shake the petty comparison and waited to see what else they had to say.</p><p>mx doug; are you sure? (sent 12:00 a.m.)</p><p>mx doug; i just got home, we can call if you need to talk (sent 12:01 a.m.)</p><p>call? at midnight? this is odd, they usually have short phone calls during their days off when the sun was still up. nothing special happened in these calls, don't think they had scandals with one another - they tend to sit quietly while one reads and the other knits. keep each other company, really. both seem to be on their own often.</p><p>char; if it isn't too much trouble. (delivered 12:04 a.m.)</p><p>char; some company before bed sounds nice :) (delivered 12:04 a.m.)</p><p>char; give me a moment, though, dear. (delivered 12:05 a.m.)</p><p>she needs to brush her teeth and put on her pajamas first before being stuck on the phone for, she assumed, ten minutes max. they won't talk for long, perhaps share about their days and what they have planned to do the following day - small talk, really, something that was almost too normal for them. she wasn't complaining, though, she liked it. charlotte returned from doing the short bedtime routine, checking to see that doug had replied with an okay to giving her a minute to get ready.<br/>and with that, she pressed the call button.</p><p>just as expected, the call went on like how their usual conversations flow: greet one another, take turns talking about work, laugh a little, and that sort of thing. it seemed she forgotten what she was upset about earlier until doug finally brought it up.<br/>"i'm sorry sam had to work a longer shift, you must be disappointed." they apologized, their voice a bit strained as if what they said about her husband was a lie. would that be a new thing? she knew a lot of people that get into contact with her lie about his whereabouts.<br/>"oh, no, it isn't a big deal. actually-" charlotte pulled the covers over her- "i think i like it better without him."</p><p>this made doug laugh a bit, not sure to spare the somewhat tense statement or out of pure amusement, but it didn't matter to charlotte. she clicked off the lamp and plugged her phone in, and after setting it aside on the nightstand, she went into a more comfortable position. of course, they couldn't see what she was doing - they didn't even know she was practically ready to get some sleep as they spoke about whatever the topic was. she listened, out of being kind, but found that their voice became more distant, and she was slipping out of consciousness.</p><p>she fell asleep. she fell asleep to them talking, doug realizing this when the unsettling silence was brought to their attention, along with the light snores on the other end. they could only smile, this definitely wasn't something they were used to; do they end the call, or go to sleep with it still connected? they last minute gave in to the second option, and headed to bed shortly after, thinking charlotte would appreciate their distant but comforting presence when she woke up.<br/>fun fact, she did.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. lips.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>charlotte/doug. sfw.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>charlotte watched the snow fall from the sky, the little specs diving their way to the muddy ground of dead grass. it was the only thing she could do while she stood outside in the cold, harsh chills down her spine occasionally getting to her. she had been waiting near the entrance of an unpopular eatery she's been wanting to try out with sam, who was running terribly late. an hour, to be exact, as she checked her watch and was almost sure would freeze like an ice cube in this weather.</p><p>this wasn't surprising for her husband; he either would come late in a sour mood, or wouldn't show up at all. she got used to it after the first ten times, now more worried about getting frostbite and the pain in her lips. unfortunately, she only brought her wallet with her, which was far too small to hold any extra supplies she kept in her bunny purse. inhaling a cool breath, she accepted the fact she will just be dining alone for lunch this winter afternoon. of course, she thought this before she heard her name be called.</p><p>"what are you doing out here? you might catch something!" it was doug, appearing to have wore a disney world hoodie over their uniform to hide the fact they were on duty. or, at least, she thought they were still on the job. "you know how weak your immune system is."<br/>"hello, officer doug, it is very nice to see you are doing well! i'm fine, dear, i was just about to go inside," replied charlotte, as she waved a hand in dismissal. she then proceeded to change the topic and ask about their out-of-dress-code sweatshirt.</p><p>they looked rather embarrassed for it to be pointed out; "i'm on lunch. it's almost over, though. didn't have anything else in the wardrobe. besides-" they put their hands in the hood pocket- "i don't like the formality during breaks."<br/>"then it was my mistake to say officer, hm? well, it is a cute jumper." she said shortly, not wanting to talk too much considering her mouth was still aching. it must've been obvious to them, she knows how close they like to observe her, not that it bothered her. she brought her hand up to run her cold tips of her fingers against her bottom lip.</p><p>"are you okay?" asked doug, as they watched the quick gesture happen in a matter of seconds.<br/>"chapped lips, is all. i left my purse at the office. but i-"<br/>"oh, that's all? here, i have some chap-stick." they cut her off without intention, rummaging a hand through their pant's pocket to retrieve the small item that apparently was flavored like vanilla. odd, she never thought doug would be a vanilla-lover like she was, which is evident in her excessive hygienic products with the scent.<br/>she thanked them for the offer and used the stick, casting her gaze up at the sky as she focused on applying it.</p><p>oops, she should've rubbed some on her finger instead rather put her own lips on it - unexpected, friendly indirect kiss for the day. "hopefully that'll last me a bit," said charlotte, as she capped the chap-stick and handed it back to doug, who had a little grin on their pale complexion. this season really loved taking the color out of people.<br/>"right, right. well, judging by the position of the sun we cannot see due to the clouds, i should be heading back." they announced, shoving their hand into their pockets, more than likely a tight grip on the returned object. how silly.</p><p>"have a good rest of your day, doug."<br/>"you, too, enjoy your meal!" and with that, they parted ways. she had to admit, it was fun interacting with them, especially during the times she was supposed to see sam and do things with him - it was a distraction she was thankful for. during the last few hours of her shift, charlotte would press her lips together in a thin line, tasting the vanilla and remembering the very minor moment of crossing paths with them.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>// online classes started and sadly it takes up most of my time. i will not be able to write as often as i want, so please hang in there during this slow update situation !</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. lost.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hannah. sfw.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>hannah ran away. she ran far, past the town limits, now wandering around in the darkness of the woods. the trees all looked the same as she walked deeper into the unknown, the only noise she blocked out was the leaves and twigs beneath her feet crunching in quiet snaps.<br/>she had been exhausted since she hit the edge of hatchetfield, unable to keep the ache in her legs out of her mind, which would lead into the reason of her stumbling to the ground.</p><p>it was hard, she initially thought before running a weak, sweaty hand against the short grass and dirt; the rocks roughing up her palm whenever she was aggressive with her movement. she didn't bring anything with her, she couldn't have at the final decision that she was done with her home. she stopped her hands and rested her face into her extended arm, closing her eyes as she smelt the faint scent of her sister. the flannel was hers, after all.</p><p>lexi, lexi, she wants lexi. she wanted to be in her arms as she listened to her hum a peculiar tune; listen to her talk about how much happier they will be in the near future. hannah smiled. she wanted to be happy, she doesn't remember the last time she felt that way. she can't remember how long it has been.<br/>her future with lex and ethan wouldn't come as she lied defeated on the ground.</p><p>she began to cry. she was loud, loud enough to disturb the eeriness of the surrounding environment. the few dead trees mocked her mistake of running away, pushing the fact she should feel guilty to even think about leaving - how selfish it all was. she left lex to deal with their mom alone. she left the only person that made her feel safe, all because she was upset with the woman in their trailer had been drinking again.</p><p>in the middle of her sobbing, she swore she heard a vague call of her name.<br/>hannah. hannah. hannah. she felt as if it was pricking at her skin like a bunch of thorns from a rose, causing her to sit up as fast as she could. she was still tired, maybe it was just her imagination. she looked around, her harsh breathing unable to be controlled as she tried to see who or what had been speaking. nothing but the woods seemed to be in her presence.</p><p>she closed her eyes again once more and slid back into her previous position, wondering when all the worries would go away. the old struggles, the current struggles; it was all too overwhelming, and she didn't even have a thing to comfort her. she was lost. she didn't know what to do, where to go. she should've stayed home. she instead left her comfortable bed to be in a damp, quiet place outside far from a familiar place.</p><p>hannah heard something. a single chirp, then another. she lifted her head to see a bird had flew down besides her. she was shocked at the encounter and jumped away, unsure on where it came from. the bird blinked towards her. what did it want? she didn't know.<br/>she blew a strand of hair out of her face to get a better look at it. she couldn't identify what kind of bird it was - she was more into bugs and insects - but she noticed that it was an all black animal.</p><p>without warning, it made a different kind of chirp, sort of like a call. a caw. she listened to the bird for a moment then watched as it flew away a few inches over, implying it wanted to lead her somewhere. maybe this was her sign, maybe this bird would take her back home. hannah struggled to get up but when she got on her feet, she shuffled after the bird as it began to fly in a linear direction - not realizing that it was showing her the wrong way out.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. missing.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>lex/ethan, doug. sfw.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"hannah? hannah, where are you?" called lex, as she strolled the land occupied by the many trailers scattered around. her sister went missing an hour ago, according to her mother, who didn't even try to get up and search for her. disappointing, she knows; it pissed her off a great amount. she decided to do a hunt by herself, along with her most trustworthy boyfriend, as she did not trust the police enough to track down her sister.</p><p>"lex, i doubt she'll still be this close to your place. we might have to drive into town," suggested ethan, who was tailgating her as they walked around the trailer park. he is just as worried as she was, though showed it by giving unhelpful comments and turning his head silently in order to look around.<br/>"well, sometimes she goes over to her friend's place. i just thought... maybe she went to hide out there."</p><p>"but that so-called friend hasn't heard from her at all. c'mon, we can take my truck and cruise around, asking people if they've seen her." he said, pausing in his tracks as he was convinced his plan was more efficient than what she was up to. lex skidded her feet to a stop and stared down at the ground; she took this into consideration, then finally gave a nod in agreement.<br/>she truly hoped someone, anyone, in this deadbeat town has seen hannah.</p><p>-</p><p>another hour went by, and the couple has yet to find hannah, or at least an alibi that has seen her presence in town. it was becoming more and more frustrating, especially due to the handful of adults that suggest going to one of the officers on duty that night for help. the thought of having to work with the cheating asshole or obnoxious loud mouth brought more grief onto lex; fortunately, she did so happen to have a distant cousin she didn't mind too much she could go to.</p><p>"you sure you want to ask them about this? i mean, we ain't exactly the most law biding citizens here," whispered ethan, as he went by her side while she walked up to the spot the police officer was standing - chatting away with a stranger.<br/>"yo, officer doug," said lex, as she stood a few feet away from where the others were. this caught their attention immediately, shocked to see she was even making her presence known.</p><p>they told the stranger to have a safe night then turned towards lex and ethan, propping their hands to their hips. "what's wrong, kid? something happen with your mom?"<br/>"no- uh, kinda, but it's mainly about my sister. hannah. i think she ran away, and we've been looking for her, but no luck." she summarized the situation, rubbing her knuckles subconsciously out of a nervous habit. the mention of a run away kid caused doug to tense up, a serious exterior replacing their previously relaxed one.</p><p>"a missing sister? how long has she been absent? what was she last wearing?" questioned doug, as they grabbed a hold of their talkie and said some words into it. must've been a code name for the predicament they were in. ethan stayed quiet as lex answered the first two and other questions asked, not sure when he could give in his two cents. to be honest, he felt like a supporting character more than a true main character.</p><p>"all right. you two can head back home and we'll handle everything. when we finish gutting out the town and find nothing, i will personally let you know the next step in the plan. got it?" instructed doug, as they gathered themself and headed towards their car, not waiting for a response. the only thing lex could manage was a 'thank you', watching the flashing lights flicker on.</p><p>as soon as the car pulled away, ethan nudged her arm; "you really think these sleazeball cops will actually try?"<br/>"hell if i know. doug is a good person, they- they seemed determined to deal with this case. let's just head back to your place, okay? i need a fucking break," replied lex. she felt a headache coming, she needs a cigarette. she really needs to cry, but she can't just yet. not now.</p><p>with that, the couple drove back to ethan's house, smoking cigarettes and waiting for the police to return at any time either with hannah, or some sort of news regarding her.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0033"><h2>33. murmur.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>charlotte/emma. sfw. // apologies for how long this took &amp; how short it is. i am trying my best to get back into writing, and will attempt to get through the rest of this book before 2021.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"i love you," murmured emma against charlotte's neck, the softness in her voice making the lady flush. it was late in the night, their bedroom only lit up by a few scented candles that reminded charlotte of lost childhood memories; now replaced by the evenings shared with emma.<br/>nothing special particularly happened, more so the two were feeling more affectionate with one another. however, the barista was feeling rather appreciative and would express so by showering her with quiet compliments.</p><p>she is aware it made charlotte flustered quick - she enjoyed how easy it was, she thought her little giggles and red cheeks were cute.<br/>"you are absolutely wonderful, quite lovely, very sweet and caring. i don't get how you do it, lottie, you're one of a kind," whispered emma, as she continued to press light kisses on her skin. they were slow and gentle, a bit ticklish to her since her neck was one of the most sensitive parts of her body. charlotte didn't know what to say; she simply grinned and allowed this to happen, which was the norm.</p><p>"hmm, consider the following: you are one of a kind. there are tons of people like me."<br/>"nuh-uh, if there was, do you think i would've fell for you?" replied emma, her question making her hold her breath for a moment. then, a sweet laugh slipped from charlotte: "you're silly, dear, oh my goodness." she slipped her arms around her neck, this keeping emma close and encouraging her to keep up with the pecks.<br/>for most couples, they would much rather be on an actual date, but the pair was comfortable and content staying inside mumbling short exchanges to one another.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. music.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>emma/charlotte. sfw.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"let's try again, okay?" said charlotte in a soft tone, as she lifted her hand to turn the volume up on the radio. slowly, the constructed melody flowed into the car and in the couple's senses; the previous silence no longer present with the invisible notes dancing along the lines and measures. the song itself was hard to identify, just a tune on a random channel that had little to no commercials after each play.</p><p>it was going fine at first, the words that crawled into emma's ears leaving a relaxed feeling deep down in her chest. she is grateful the third attempt started at a low volume, charlotte knew taking baby steps with this sort of thing was the best route to take. ever since the incident last year, they have avoided any form of rhythm for months on end - otherwise getting the unwanted fear they were stuck in danger once more.</p><p>nowadays, the two adults began to work together on getting over their anxieties and allow music back into their lives. it was difficult, to say the least, though what was more challenging was the struggle to avoid the vocals of another human and bass from a variety of instruments. as long as they had each other, they will stay on the course of the healing process; overcoming something like this is not easy when alone. they are thankful to have each other.</p><p>the sound suddenly started to creep up, a response emma had to this ended up not-so-positive. with each step up the stairs of volume, she can feel herself experience a sense of drowning; the flooding of chords causing her breath to get caught in her throat. she couldn't do it. in a panic, she smashed the button on the radio that disabled it temporarily, and welcomed the stillness and quietness with open arms.</p><p>a light, warm hand was gently placed on her shoulder, and she turned her head in the opposite direction. emma didn't want to see the nonexistent disappointed expression on charlotte's face, she just wouldn't be able to deal with that. it was always her fault they were unable to make it past a minute into these sessions, it is pathetic to her. she never would have expected she'd fail at enjoying herself to some jams, yet here she was.</p><p>"i'm so fucking sorry, lottie. i can't move on, i will never be able to." she spoke up after she felt as though she could breathe again, her gaze continued to be on some trees outside the car window.<br/>"emma, dear, it's okay. you were doing great, you are okay. i'm proud of you," replied charlotte, as she rubbed her thumb against her shoulder. the reassurance she gave seemed to soothe her, as usual, since emma took the simple statements to heart.</p><p>"we can always try another time. for now, let's put it aside and go home. dinner in the slow-cooker should be done, a full stomach will help you rest easy tonight," continued charlotte, her tone soft like how a mother would talk to her upset child. emma listened to her quietly, the thought of eating her cooking made her smile just the slightest; "okay, then... let's go." she collected herself and put the car in reverse.</p><p>on the drive home, charlotte spoke about the silly events that happened at work, to which emma occasionally responded to with either a chuckle, comment, or question. i will stay strong, she thought to herself whenever the comfortable silence settled between the two women. i will stay strong for her.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. photograph.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>howard. sfw.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>blackness. bleakness. too fucking dark to use a camera, that's for sure. as much as it is an honor to physically serve for his country, howard being told he needs to jump into a portal into another universe and find some god that controls the global crisis was... stressful. to make matters more complicated, he had to snap photos of certain oddities he discovered in order to document it for peip researchers. what were they going to use these pictures for? he doesn't know, even after asking.</p><p>listening to the soft, low static in his ear piece, he scanned all around him, nothing catching his eye - in fact, he can't tell if he already spared a glance in one area or not. the overwhelming vast emptiness, sooner or later, made howard cold and nauseous. this is going to get exhausting fast, he thought to himself as he decided to turn his attention down onto the camera he was given. in small text, there was peip written above the display, and the rest of the usual functions and buttons along the side of the screen.</p><p>"guess i'll just..." he mumbled, pressing the option to turn on flash and raising the camera up in front of him. hesitantly, he clicked the button that snaps whatever could be in frame, and tried his best to keep his hands still; nothing developed on the screen, much to his relief. to be completely honest, howard was hoping he did not find anything lurking in the darkness, but this would be crushed as he began to hear hushed whispers. huh, that doesn't sound good. he glanced around quick, trying to identify where it was coming from, and concluded it had been heard from underneath.</p><p>shifting his legs out of the way and positioning the camera angle below him, he repeated his action on taking a photo. a strike of anxiety crashed down into him like a lightning bolt as he saw a strange creature on his screen, gazing up at him with an eerie smile and pure white eyes that reminded him of stars. as soon as the picture was taken, howard began to kick his legs in hopes this would help him float away to an actual platform. when he was told he'd go talk to an inter-dimensional demon, he did not have any form of assumption he'd see... aliens? aliens.</p><p>"what the fuck? what the fuck?!" he found his voice, shouting with all his might the same three words. his earpiece was only giving him feedback, as if mcnamara had been trying to speak to him but nothing coherent came in. the radiowaves were overlapping. "what the fuck are those things?" he whispered to himself when he found a footing, appearing as a crazy chicken for how often he snapped his head in all directions. the whispers, the shuffles, and the giggles coming from all over would surely drive him insane.</p><p>howard, while shaking terribly, held his camera up once more, holding his breath as he took another picture. regret, a lot of regret followed after doing this. popping up on the screen was the one and only wiggly, just like how the doll appeared as; however, at the same time, it was no where near what the toy looked like. this sea monster is large, larger than any building on planet earth, and the texture of his exterior was closer to how a squid's skin is. no fur, unless you count the parts near his eyes and torso - or what he thought was his torso.</p><p>his tentacles were much longer, more wrinkled than what most theorized, and his eyes had been closed in the picture. sadly, wiggly woke up to the sudden flash, the blinding iris replicating a spotlight directly on howard and putting him on the stop. he did not speak, he did not make a noise. instead, the president heard a more human-like voice call out to him, using his nickname to create more fear within the already panicked howard.<br/>man, fuck black friday.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0036"><h2>36. rain.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>linda and becky. sfw.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>cold, wet, miserable. these are the words that perfectly describe how linda feels at the current moment, as she stood on the sidewalk in front of a shop that had a 'closed' sign on the door. she's attempted to call her husband, gerald, many times to try and get him to pick her up, but no dice - he stopped answering after a while, and her only assumption for this to happen was him being busy. too busy to care for his wife, apparently.</p><p>as she stood there, she counted the few cars that drove by slow enough that they didn't hit any puddles and splashed her. even so, it was a little late to care as she was soaked down to the skin under the number of layered clothes. as the kids and teens said, linda hates it here. she didn't know whether she should start bawling like a baby right then and there, or to begin walking to the nearest shop that was open and willing to provide her a towel.</p><p>the decision had yet to be made as an unfamiliar car pulled up in front of her, parking itself; this was suspicious, no doubt, considering she couldn't see through the passenger's window due to the tint. she made a sour face as it rolled down and saw who was behind the wheel. "look who it is, miss becky fucking barnes! coming to try and uplift your ego by saving the day?" immediately, she bashed the nurse, not at all needing help from her.</p><p>"come on, linda, it's pouring and you are just... standing there, at least let me drive you to a dry spot," sighed becky, not surprised out of all the things she could've said she resorted to that. sure, she was not fond of the woman and would've avoided her any other day; however, she can't leave someone clearly stuck in a predicament that'd end up in her becoming ill. the sick part was the main concern, not her own ego.</p><p>linda grumbled for a moment, about to tell the ginger to buzz off, though the numbing of her feet and wrinkling of her fingertips caused her to reluctantly open the car door. she didn't care if she got the seat wet, nor would she thank the other for this insignificant gesture. "don't get any funny ideas, barnes, i won't do shit for you even if you begged." she spat this with a nasty tone, crossing her arms in front of her chest.</p><p>becky ignored this and went on to a different conversation. "i'll take you to the mall and someone can pick you up from there. is it warm enough in here?" she asked as she leaned over and put a hand in front of the a/c, feeling where it was temperature wise.<br/>"yes, yes, it's fine where it is." she said, feeling herself shiver as she sat there. she didn't plan on getting comfortable, not at all, not around the person she despises the most.</p><p>it was a dreadful drive to lakeside mall, a few times they were caught at a red light and forced to sit in a tense silence. by now, linda's hair stopped dripping yet was still, of course, damp, along with the rest of her. she wasn't shivering anymore, thankfully, but wished she was in her own car yelling at gerald for being a horrible husband. she kept to herself until she heard becky speak up after those annoyingly long ten minutes.</p><p>"why do you hate me so much?" asked becky, as she pulled into the spacious parking lot. her tone had gone soft, and her overall mood was hard to explain. this stumped linda for a moment, first feeling angry she'd ask such a ridiculous question, then her mind went empty. why did she hate her? had she forgotten the reason for it? it should be there somewhere in her mad brain. the confrontation is something she dealt with often, but this felt wrong.</p><p>sitting in her car, her personal space, probably defenseless of an attack on her character... it was a perfect chance to absolutely destroy becky barnes. but she stayed silent, not mentioning the multiple answers that did pop up. once the car was parked, becky kept a gaze on her, patiently waiting for some sort of response - even a simple insult would work, she just doesn't want to be left in the dark about the thought.</p><p>finally, linda figured out her words: "look at that, it isn't raining so much now, what a waste of gas for you. i'll be leaving, now, goodbye becky." she clicked the seat belt and opened the door, climbing out of the car in a less than elegant way. there was no response from becky, she was quietly watching her depart from the spot she parked at. hoping for an actual reply from the most narcissistic human was a bust, her fault for deciding to bring it up.</p><p>"oh well, there's always next time," said becky aloud, as she took a hand off her stirring wheel and put it down her shirt. as she took her gaze away from linda, who was walking into the mall, the nurse took out the mini pistol she was hiding; her over-sized hoodie covered the outlining of the weapon. like she said, there was always another chance in the future to mention it again with linda monroe.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0037"><h2>37. secret.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>peip gang. sfw. // ocs mentioned belong to Zoya113</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"oh my goodness, that certainly is some late news," said xander, as he clicked about on his computer and sipped at his decaf coffee. after saying this, the general in his office turned away from the window to face him; his stern expression not faulting despite his curiosity to what the other said.<br/>"what news do you mean?" asked john, as he stepped over to the desk and leaned over. on the computer screen, there was an article about a familiar looking woman with a bold headline.</p><p>"apparently katy perry gave birth to a baby girl a couple months ago, isn't that sweet?" he replied with a smile, setting his mug down before exiting out of the tab. to him it may have been sweet, however hearing the name and context gave the general an internal fear. the first thing he thought of was how a certain major would react to this, and assuming the report had been from august, this major did not yet know what happened. to avoid a loud day, john put a hand on xander's shoulder and looked down at him.</p><p>there was a moment of silence, xander returning the gaze without much thought to the gesture as they were husbands, after all. "do not tell major maxon this, lee. you know how he is. make sure no one else mentions it, either." he ordered, his tone as serious as most stereotypical army men were.<br/>"but why not? he'd be thrilled to know one of his favorite artists has a family now." he inquired, standing up as he prepared himself to defend his friend. it isn't like maxon knew when and how to control himself with his interests, nor did he know any better.</p><p>john heaved a sigh and removed his hand from his shoulder. "i'm sorry, but we cannot have the others be disrupted by the major. they have work to do, and so does he. as he is reliable and very smart, it is important for him to 'switch' to a professional mode during his tasks." he said, more or less thinking this was the end of the conversation, but apparently it wasn't. while the couple left the office, xander continued to explain the same excuse he always had for maxon whenever he had to stand up for him. they really were best friends, huh?</p><p>continuing down the hall, they bumped into brigadier savant and colonel schaeffer. why were they together? who knows, the two seem to cheat death often during missions, perhaps that is how they are able to bond. at least schaeffer was getting out there.<br/>"good morning, general. good morning, physicist," greeted savant formally, with her arms firm behind her back. xander awkwardly chuckled and waved his hand; "please, just refer to me as lee. that makes more sense than what field of work i am in, right?"</p><p>"right. what is going on?" she glossed over the correction as if it didn't truly matter to her, which didn't offend him all that much. since she asked, john fixed his cap and nodded his head to indicate he was going to answer.<br/>"we've learned some information that must not be spread around, or else it will lead to an explosive chaos of monologues and frustration."<br/>"and what the fuck does that mean, general? quit being cryptic," asked schaeffer, who didn't appreciate when he avoided blunt responses.</p><p>"the singer maxon loves so much recently had a baby, and he doesn't want him to find out," summarized xander, as he crossed his arms to show this was something he was not pleased with. a groan came from savant while schaeffer stood there, stunned - it would appear that this order to keep the secret away from maxon is something she is willing to do. everyone knew she was one of the few peip members that had to put up with his constant rambles, so this is a life or death situation for the colonel.</p><p>in an instant, without even dismissing herself, the colonel darted in the direction she came from with the brigadier. "i assume she is also exhausted by the young major's actions. that boy needs to learn when to tone it down and learn how to grow up," stated savant, as she kept her eyes on schaeffer, who came out of view when she rounded a corner. john hummed in agreement before the two dismissed one another, and went their separate ways. as usual, xander bit his tongue and didn't comment on the slander.</p><p>"i hope schaeffer doesn't stick to him like glue, or like a guard canine. that would just be suspicious, wouldn't it?" he fiddled with his dog tags, thinking about the possible outcomes of her more than likely fighting other cadets just to prevent maxon from conversing with them. his husband let out a laugh, followed by a shake of his head.<br/>"i think she has it under control. granted, we're talking about claire here, but she is the one who will keep the secret until she goes down in her grave."</p><p>a little grim, but reassuring. kind of. after a short walk to the cafeteria, john and xander noticed an arm wrestle was happening between two members of the gang both were quite aware of. "boom, i win again! give me your milk, now, cigarette arms!" exclaimed corporal blake, or simply sarah, as she held her hand out for the one in front of her to hand over their drink. a field med, someone who was reliable but a bit of a bully, evidence being what they just witnessed.<br/>neither men would've interacted with her in high school.</p><p>walking up to the lunch table, sarah flipped her hair to one side and looked at the married couple; "woah, look who's here, some fellow gays. how's it goin', general? and you, too, lee?" she asked with a laugh, ripping open the top of the carton and beginning to chug it. too feral for them outside of work, definitely, but her energy and tough nature was refreshing... in a way.<br/>"we're well, thank you for asking. we have a request for you, though, corporal," said john, as he drummed his knuckles against the tabletop.</p><p>"a request? woah, woah, what do i get out of this li'l request?" she asked, wiping the milk mustache off from her top lip. "i don't do favors, especially since i know there ain't anythin' on the schedule that requires me to be told what to do directly by 'mistew genewaw'."<br/>"your ears will be saved from being assaulted by loud vocals." he answered without missing a beat, the staring contest they suddenly were involved in not breaking. xander flickered his eyes between the two, unsure on what was going on in either of their heads.</p><p>"u-uhm! we'll give you extra candy cigarettes for the next month?" he spoke up, which caused both the general and corporal to shift their gazes at him, unsure on what the hell he just said. they still handed out candy cigarettes to the ones trying to get off nicotine, right? before sarah could mock him for this random offer, one of the lab assistants xander recognized made their way over to the table with an almost nervous looking expression. saved by a close mutual, thank god, the physicist thought to himself.</p><p>taylor viridi took a seat at the table with their lunch tray, right across from sarah, who was eyeballing their dinner roll they served for breakfast... which was never questioned until john noticed it. "what is with the long faces? that isn't very pog." they commented while picking up their fork, poking at their food for a split second.<br/>"these two want me to do somethin' for 'em and i don't know what i'll get in return. like you said, not very pog," recapped sarah, as she crushed the empty carton of milk in her hand.</p><p>"listen, both of you: i need you two to tell the others not to let major maxon know of katy perry's recent birth. you know how he is, and if this were to get to him, everyone will be filled with despair for the following week," instructed john, the more he repeated it, the more serious it felt to xander. it was ridiculous there had to be a caution for this sort of thing every once in a blue moon, and lee swore one day he'd put this to an end if it gets taken too far. fortunately, he knew this wouldn't happen again anytime soon.</p><p>the lab assistant reacted to this with a frown, their eyebrows furrowing. "what do you mean? i find it nice learning about his groovy fixations. i mean- the volume of his voice isn't very funky fresh at times, but he does no harm." as they said this, sarah snuck her hand to their tray and robbed them of their bread roll, then quickly hid it under the table on her lap to prevent them from noticing. this was seen by the grown men, who didn't try to stop her as they knew there would be no point.</p><p>"thank you, taylor. see? even they understand it is fine for maxon to be updated on his favorites!" said xander, as he pointed a finger at his husband to try and prove this shouldn't be labeled as an issue. the only response from sarah was a scoff from her mouthful of bread; "i don't mind tellin' the other fellas 'ere to shut their holes, but i better get those motherfuckin' candy cigarettes you promised - even if this place don't do that no more!" now it was her turn to point at him, exposing her as a thief and taylor appearing displeased by their stolen roll.</p><p>after the short reasoning and defeat about the reward, the general thanked the two and left the cafeteria with xander, who overheard sarah shouting to some smaller group about what not to do if they see the major. great, this so-called secret isn't much of one if everyone knew about it; someone would be bound to slip up on accident and reveal the truth to maxon, he swears it. that's how peip works, despite the motto being something about not peeping or whatever silly slogan that was thought of in his early years.</p><p>"are you still upset about all this? you've been quiet since we left the cafe," questioned john, as he walked along side his husband down a number of halls. where were they heading? judging by the setting, they must be heading to where doctor adam mcallister's office was. what were they going to do there?<br/>"hey, why do we need to see the doctor?" asked xander, clearly avoiding what john asked as he was positive his spouse is aware of the answer already. since mcnamara was not one to be pushy, he adjusted his watch and tilted his head.</p><p>"don't you remember? schaeffer 'accidentally' teared off major general mace's leg, and we brought him to doctor mcallister for him to be repaired. it is unlike you to remember our own child, lee." the general smirked, finding this amusing, and lee had to admit... he can't stay upset at his lover for this morning's kooky decisions when he was, deep down, childish. thinking of it, xander did remember when the colonel threw a tantrum and hurt the lion plushie's body and how realistic pain and betrayal felt deep in his chest.</p><p>walking into the office, as expected, adam was sitting at his desk with major general mace in his hands; sewing away at the damages that had been done to the poor feline. "how is he, doc? give it to me straight," joked john, as he stepped over to the tired man. the more relaxed, non-authoritative mcnamara was much more lovely to see than his day-to-day cold exterior to lee. the joke caused adam to chuckle and spare the couple a glance that seemed to give off an almost 'i do not know what i am doing' vibe.</p><p>"overall, he is healthy, though not very pretty as i have no skill in sewing stuffed animals as i do body parts. quite the irony, am i right?" sighed adam, as he placed down the needle and string on his desk; he propped up major general mace, and for a moment, he slumped over. with a slight smile, xander gave the lion a small pat of gratitude for his hard work then turned his attention onto john, who he expected would mention the major by now. it didn't seem to cross his mind until after a few back-and-forth comments.</p><p>"mcallister, i've been going around and informing everyone of this as a sort of... warning," started mcnamara, as he scratched at his chin where a scruffy beard lived. the amount of times xander simply wished he'd trim it could make him more rich than jeff bezos. "we need you to keep your lips sealed about katy perry and her baby girl."<br/>"oh, you heard about it, too, huh? yeah, i saw it earlier this morning after my little quarrel with one of the soldiers," replied the doctor, as he leaned back in his swivel chair.</p><p>he continued: "and coincidentally, major maxon came in for a check up on his sprained ankle, so i told him. boy was real happy, a better improvement from being upset he couldn't finish his k-pop routine. isn't that some good news?" once he stopped speaking, it would seem both john and xander had no idea what the concept of breathing was anymore. they couldn't even respond, and this was not obvious to adam, who went on to mention he rushed off to go find lee and schaeffer to share the discovery.</p><p>"oh god," mumbled john, as he slapped his palm onto his forehead. "she's going to think i purposely set her up to it and try to get back at me, i already feel a headache coming on." he went to go sit down, not looking at a now confused doctor.<br/>"she is going to do what now?"<br/>"doctor, why would you tell maxon this? i mean- good for you, that's great, but since when have you been interested in the boy?" urged xander, as he put his palms on the desk and leaned over it slightly. jeez, he was not ready to hear complaints from everyone.</p><p>adam brought a hand up to rub his temple, the tiredness increasingly getting worse as he dealt with more and more idiots in this facility. "like i said, he had a sprained ankle and while he was here, he told me about his interests. as a doctor, i listened and conversed with him. hell, he even let's me talk about my own medical facts no one here cares for. he deserves more credit than what he is given." he said, a sigh trailing behind his words. he doesn't think he could handle overreactions or under-reactions for much longer.</p><p>so, the secret reached him even before lee was aware of the fact. disappointing but not surprising, to be completely honest. xander looked at his husband, who was in the middle of thinking of a way not to get brutally murdered by the colonel and the rest of peip - he'll have to help him stay away from everyone, including maxon, which lee can easily just excuse john as being busy and listen to his friend go on about katy perry. pretend he doesn't know, xander tends to do this often when maxon repeats himself.</p><p>for the following week, nothing was heard other than the passionate talking of major maxon, going on to explain in full detail of the child, the child's name, the child's father, and so on. and for the majority of those seven, long days, xander kept by his side in order for a protest or riot to not happen against the general. the things you sometimes have to do for your loved ones, that goes underappreciated yet remembered, is more important than what you had scheduled for yourself.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0038"><h2>38. sleep.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>mcnamara. sfw. // this is short and rushed&lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>is this what it feels like to not be a physical being? no form, no volume, no matter? just a floating stream of thought among other streams of consciousness, sleeping in the place known as drowsy town. john never would have guessed this as a possible way for him to pass; his body de-materialized and stuck between the universes. the gateways to each universe currently being invaded at this very moment, yet all he could do was drift away. sleep awake.</p><p>it all felt like a dream, he can see and look around, unable to catch sight of his invisible form. the sounds of the evils whispering, the noise of the victims suffering - he is hearing this but he doesn't know where the source is coming from. all he needs to do is get his final message out to the world, to someone, to a warrior of hope. with these strange currencies, he had to get a grip of bending the rules and waves to find an open realm.</p><p>despite his form only structured of energies neither created or destroyed, the burning sensation that came as he shifted through the wide but stuffy space to try and get somewhere. just... anywhere, really, a place to where he can out his nonexistent foot down and call out for someone, anyone. he has to continue his duty as a general, he has to be the one to advise a new hero to come up and take down the ones causing horror throughout town.</p><p>ignoring the sniggles, ignoring wiggly, ignoring colonel wilbur, john pushed on to get out for a couple of minutes. seconds, even, enough time to pile up the responsibility on a reliable source. no one specific was in mind, of course, there was no time to go out and properly test or train someone for this. with that crossing over, john reached out to the open tear in the universe he was once apart of, and soon will be face-to-face with a teenager close to an early death.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0039"><h2>39. stalk.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>emma, sherman, gabbie (gpg). sfw. cw; stalking. // did not read over, happy thanksgiving if you celebrate&lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>a sigh escaped from her lips as she stood at the side of the road, clipboard held close to her chest as she waited for someone- anyone- to walk pass her. gabbie has been doing this greenpeace business for a few years now, and at this point, everyone knows exactly who she was, and where her assigned spots are. it isn't too shocking that the residents in town tend to try and avoid her, minus a few regulars who don't mind signing up or pitching in. however, this didn't bother gabbie in the slightest.</p><p>in fact, she enjoyed it. in the time she would spend alone, she was given the chance to wander farther down the sidewalk, right where beanies was. she tends to take a little peek inside, try to find one of the baristas in there she was friends with, then head back over to her spot - biting her lip to hold back a little, sick grin. around this time, noon, the barista she was speaking of would take a break to eat and either call one of her family members, or listen to a true crime podcast. it was easy to tell, since she seemed more antsy after getting back onto her shift.</p><p>gabbie scribbled nonsense on one of the sheets of paper clipped to the board, thinking about her. who was it? emma perkins, obviously. she was one of her closest friends, and unsurprisingly, a huge crush to greenpeace girl. she knew all sorts of things about emma: her parents names and death days, her first pet she ever had and the pet she currently is trying to adopt, her favorite place to dine at whenever she has the day off and a new, fresh check that makes up the plenty of hours working at beanies.</p><p>due to how long they have known one another, she even memorized emma's laundry schedule; every sunday she brings her clothes down to the local laundry mat, her white work shirts separate from her more casual, comfortable outfits. she brings exact change, though she has her moments where she is a quarter short, yet there is always a friendly figure to give her the rest needed so she can get her loads done in under an hour or so. it was cute, how awkward she'd become whenever she sits in the chairs and waits, constantly glancing up from her phone.</p><p>blinking for a moment, she noticed the barista was walking out of the cafe, hands full with two trays of coffee orders. ah, yes, it was friday! at ccrp, they tend to get more busy at the end of the week, and that mister paul matthews is unable to do his daily run to come pick it up himself. lazy bastard, don't they have a receptionist there? as gabbie thought this, she took the opportunity to smile her infamous, bold grin and stop emma in her track - work is work, you know, she has to do her job just like anybody else.</p><p>"hi! are you signed up with greenpeace? because if you are, we would love for you to check and read about the problems with carbon emissions, and how you can help save our planet!" she said this fast, too fast to where the other woman stood there with a completely blank expression. after a few beats, she shook her head with a half smile; "ah, no, i'm not. as much as i care, i'm sorta being timed right now, so uh... see you later- uh- gabbie!" said emma, as she took a short moment to read her name tag, then proceeded speed walking past her. as per usual, being dismissed without much of a second thought. it's okay, gabbie only liked it when emma did this.</p><p>-</p><p>walking into her small apartment, gabbie closed the door behind her and locked it, letting out a tired yawn. today was not as eventful as she had hoped, but what can you do? she shuffled to the kitchen to grab her unfinished bottle of orange juice, and chugged the rest of it before she would do her everyday task that no one else was aware of. tossing the empty container into the recycling bin (which she had to take out monday), she traveled through her living room and to her bedroom. with a swift swipe of her hand against the light switch, it brightened up the comfortable space - including the closet, its door cracked open just the slightest.</p><p>in this closet consisted of the usual stuff, such as hangers that had sweaters and dresses that may or may not have been originally hers; these were used to block the wall behind the clothes, which contained an oddity no one would have suspected the friendly yet demanding worker on the street. on this wall had a number of photos, ranging from dated polaroid pictures, printed digital camera pictures, and defaced snapchat pictures, and the main theme of these was a special someone by the name of emma.</p><p>in the harsh reality of it all, gabbie and emma were not friends. if anything, they were simply two people who happen to bump into each other on the job. nothing more, nothing less, yet gabbie wanted more. she knew there were more to this, and she would do what it takes to get to emma - discreetly, of course. the red ink dates written on each photo go back to 2018, a solid two years of obsessing and dreaming and hoping their relationship would blossom. no one could have her but gabbie, and she sees complications when it comes to that mister matthews man.</p><p>due to this, she thought fondly of the night she ensured to put spikes behind emma's car tires so she would be late to her scheduled dinner with paul. unfortunately, this plan was destroyed as she seemed to forget he could easily come pick her up - stupid licenses, getting in the way of cutting communications between the two of them. as she sat there in her closet, running her fingers against a few of the photos that had a busy emma stuck in place, she heard static quietly come from one of her dresser drawers.</p><p>ah, so it was near eight o'clock at night. gabbie crawled over to her bed and leaned against it as she opened a drawer to her nighstand; after rummaging her hand in it, she took out a device she used to eavesdrop on the woman... a walkie talkie. or, in the technical term, a handheld radio. a few months prior, she had the capability to sneak her way into emma's apartment and plant the tool in a place she knew it wouldn't be discovered in. so far, she's learned a great deal of information, especially what the barista does late at night when she can't fall asleep...</p><p>pulling herself out of the sick memories, gabbie slowly twisted the volume so it was a bit louder, wanting to hear what she had to say tonight. as usual, emma ranted about the day and how rude customers can be, which made the greenpeace girl bit her thumb nail in silent anger. oh, how she would love to teach those guys a lesson, but she knows she wouldn't be able to do such a risky task. what she has been doing for two years was risky enough, potentially harming others would just be an easy access to exposing this secret.</p><p>even if it was only eight, emma tends to let her sleepy mind lead her to bed and get some rest. she would do this constantly, unless she had to rush through getting her college work completed that she often procrastinates on. biology, mainly so she can learn about plants and learn how to take care of the cannabis plants often are grown in mid-september and late october. all this facts unintentionally go to gabbie, as well, which helps her know what she can talk about and hook emma in. it was a perfect tactic, sharing the same interests despite the stalker not caring for the drug.</p><p>putting aside the walkie talkie, gabbie rested her head back against her bed, and gazed at her ceiling. "you don't know it yet, but you love me-" she brought a hand up to her chest- "and i love you the same. one day, we'll have such a beautiful wedding and i'll be your everything. we'll be together..." she softly gasped at the thought, a shy grin tugged at the ends of her mouth. "yes, we will be together forever, and never will we part-" she paused as she heard soft snoring fill her ears, the source of the noise from the one she had an unhealthy obsession over.</p><p>"oh, you don't know it, but baby, i've already got your heart."</p><p>-</p><p>sherman young is known as the creepy old guy of the town, who mainly is seen at lakeside mall's toy zone obtaining girl-ish toys to collect and keep until he can get a profit from it. it was an interest he took a bit too seriously, and no one goes out of their way to approach him first; despite the allegations of his suspicious character, the hatchetfield police department claim they won't search the man as there is no proper evidence that would prove there is something off about him. (fortunately, two of the officers were aware of this and keep a close eye on him.)</p><p>today, he is on his morning routine with walking to the bus stop to sit and have a small snack. sometimes a banana, sometimes cheetos, depending on how he feels. what he didn't expect was to be sitting next to an angry barista, who was grumbling about another incident with her tires being messed up. "i swear, i bet it's those teens that cause nothing but trouble!" mumbled emma, as she was looking down at her phone to find out where she can find affordable tires. she'd find out who the culprit is, since she doesn't believe in the law enforcement.</p><p>"i never see you take the bus, miss," commented sherman, as she squinted his eyes and pushed his glasses up. due to being too pissed to notice it was him, emma kept tapping on her screen with aggression; "i fuckin' have to today since some asshole slashes my tires. this is the second time this happened this year!" she said, her volume rising as she ended her sentence. of course, she left out the detail that this happened, again, when trying to go out with paul. coincidences happen, but this for sure was a weird one.</p><p>"and now i have to break into my savings for stupid new tires. christ, i need to find a way to get a parking space closer to the security cameras..." oh dear, that wouldn't be good.<br/>"you don't have to do that, here," started sherman, as he set his banana peel aside to grab his wallet out of his pocket. as he took the wad of cash out, emma tried her best to deny it, though the advantage of taking money from an unexpecting rich man would definitely help her out. taking the amount necessary for four tires, she thanked him plenty of times, to which he waved his hand in dismissal.</p><p>on the quick bus ride to the stop she had to get off of, emma began to walk towards her draining job; however, as she made her way there, she felt... strange. quickly taking a glance back, she noticed the man from before was following her - or was he just going in the same direction? thinking about it, she does see him walk past the front windows often while working. i need to stop listening to so much true crime, thought emma as she paused her movement. as she thought, sherman strolled past her to continue his daily walk, not even sparing her a glance.</p><p>"all right," whispered emma under her breath, as she began to continue her steps with a pace like a slug. she didn't want to come off as a follower now, she just wanted to get to work, but thankfully she noticed the greenpeace girl was on duty in her infamous spot. great! she can pretend to be interested in her ramble about the earth until sherman rounds the block, then she can put her concerns to rest for the remainder of the day. a wonderful plan that only she is aware of.</p><p>-</p><p>coffee smell filled the room as it brewed in from of him, the liquid soon streaming into his travel cup that he bought specifically for this. it held the right amount of ounces he liked to consume, and the caffeine in it helps his old mind stay awake during the evening. as he finished stirring the sugar in his coffee and putting the lid on the cup, he shuffled to his fridge to pull out a packed lunch he forgot to eat earlier on. thank goodness, though, he needed this for his weekly night out - for what he did lasts hours, and he would need the extra energy replenished.</p><p>checking everything to make sure he wasn't missing what he needed, sherman took a quick glance at his phone; the tab he was open to was emma's instagram, surely his millionth time monitoring her posts. oh, how lovely her eyes looked in one of them, where the sunset's beams lit up her face to show her true form of beauty... he'll get to see those eyes again tomorrow, assuming he will see her while on his way near beanie's. shoving his phone into his sweatshirt pocket, he picked up his lunch and coffee, then went on his way out of house.</p><p>it was nearing eleven at night, at this time the town was dreaming away in their comfortable slumber, but not for sherman tonight. see, what he does once a week he would do multiple times in one week like how he did in the past, but his age made it difficult to do activities mainly sick younger generations would get away with. quietly, he strolled through the darkest parts of the town, the mapping similar to where he'd go in the day but this time behind trees, bushes, and buildings.</p><p>his travel to and from his night spot thankfully wasn't too long, though even if it was, he'd go the distance... for her. rounding a few more corners, he arrived to the apartment building emma lived at; a quick scan of the area, and no one seemed to be hanging around. with another scan of his eyes, he noticed there has yet to be a camera installed near the tall tree that gave him access to the branch near her bedroom window. the staff of the apartment couldn't care less about that sort of thing, apparently.</p><p>quiet as a mouse, sherman stepped to the tree and made sure his travel cup was secure in the pocket meant for bottles on his lunchbox. the following action after this was slipping the handle on his wrist, then carefully going up the tree - the spots he stepped on or held onto grew more prominent each time he did this. as he got up to the branch, he let out a low groan, knowing his body would get too rusty for these games. next time he'll just have to find the skill to make his own camera and direct it towards the window.</p><p>it would be less of a hassle and much easier, considering emma wouldn't spot him and ring up the police, yet so far he was in the clear. for being really into crime podcasts, she was not observant with stalker behaviors and possibilities. pushing the thought and soreness in his legs to the back of his head, he took a long sip of his coffee as he noticed she left her blinds open as she slept in an awkward position. he admired her small frame and exposed skin, her tank top strap slipped off her shoulder while she snoozed the night away.</p><p>he did this until his coffee was empty, along with his favorite snacks in the lunchbox; he climbed down the tree again, a few of the branches snapping louder than he thought, which caused him to swear under his breath. one more mistake like that and he'd be done for disturbing the peace, and he found it a bit stupid - even as a young adult he thought it was a stupid crime. hopping onto his feet, he checked the area again before going to go make his escape... until something caught his eye. emma's car, parked in a new spot, farther from the building and security cameras.</p><p>from assumption, some other resident parked in her spot and she was forced to keep her vehicle in the back. this was a good thing for him, as he tends to search around her car to find items she may have dropped or left behind. hair ties, hair clips, earrings, whatever you can accidentally lose and never get back. he usually searches for things that may have her scent lingering on them, but no dice for sherman thus far. it isn't hard to drop a jacket then forget about it, so he kept his hopes low as he slipped through the shadows to get to the car.</p><p>getting on his knees, and using the moonlight to see the ground, all he saw were rocks and leaves from the world he lived on. useless, he would think, until he had the impulse to check and see if perhaps emma was forgetful enough to leave the doors unlocked. he's never checked before, he was unable to in the past, but this could be a lucky day for mister young. with a swift hand, he pulled on the handle, hearing a click indicating it had opened successfully. "that's my emma..." he whispered to himself as he got back on his feet and pushed the door open more.</p><p>in the passenger seat was a plastic bag containing some trash she had, only beanie's to-go cups and empty mcdonald's packaging. he ignored this, learning his lesson last him he rummaged  through the trash bins to a previous lover he latched onto, then observed the rest of the car. his luck just kept getting better when she spotted a hoodie in the backseat, the dark green one she wore whenever it rained. climbing into the car for a minute, sherman reached over and snatched the hoodie, immediately putting it up to his face.</p><p>oh, he adored emma's coffee bean and cinnamon smell, exactly what he thought her scent would be. the fantasy of being able to always take this in each night as he nuzzles his face into her neck emerged in his gross mind. in order to prevent anyone become a witness to the robbery, sherman slipped out of the car and closed the door; he didn't think she'd notice this item had disappeared, as the weather for the next few days would be sunny and unbearably hot. grabbing his lunchbox, he made a quick exit to where he came from hours previously and returned to his (mother's) home.</p><p>-</p><p>"dude, i don't know what else i can say! shit keeps happening to me, and it's starting to freak me out!" said emma into her phone, as she paced around her small living room. she had called paul in hopes to get some reassurance that she had been overreacting, but it wasn't working. he kept asking questions that just made both of their anxieties go through the roof. since it was late at night and she's been worrying about it all day, her paranoia was getting to the best of her and she couldn't handle it.</p><p>"w-well, what do you think could explain this?" asked paul, his tone straining to not sound like he was scared for her well being.<br/>"i don't know, karma for all the times i spat in everyone's coffee? someone just really hates my guts?" she listed, stepping to her bedroom as she did this. due to her being nervous, she went looking for her stress ball she had months ago that seemingly faded away.<br/>"i don't think someone who hates you would go as far as stealing things from you..."</p><p>emma groaned at his response, not even attempting to tell him how ridiculous he sounded at the moment. as she listened to paul finally try and give some form of reassurance and comfort, she found something that had been concealed from her that she doesn't remember owning. picking it up, she immediately could see it was a planted walkie talkie. "what the fuck?" she loudly said, her hand beginning to shake in both fear and anger. "what the FUCK is this?!" she screamed, slamming her phone down on the desk and trying to figure out how to work it.</p><p>"emma? emma, are you okay?" asked paul, a little freaked at the sudden profanity and yelling. there wasn't a response as she fumbled around with the buttons before realizing the device had already been listening to her speak.<br/>"hey, who put this fucking thing in my room?! who are you? fucking answer me!" she shouted into the radio, and started to shake in desperately so she could get a response faster. her heart was racing, her breath was heavy, she felt like throwing up.</p><p>there was a few nervous giggles that came through: "i'll be there soon, sweetheart." with that, emma chucked the device at the farthest wall, ensuring the thing would be broken at least a little bit. she grabbed her phone again and brought it up to her ear.<br/>"paul- paul, i think i'm being stalked. i-i just fucking found a walkie talkie, and this feminine voice just fucking said they were coming here." she didn't even realize it was heard to hear her over her voice cracks and the tears starting to stream down her face.</p><p>"you need to call the police, this is serious! you could be in danger!" exclaimed paul, his tone sounding as though he was also about to break down crying.<br/>"please just try and get here before they do, i-i don't know what to do if i'm alone," sobbed emma, as she sat down and tried her best to regulate her breathing. why her? why did this have to happen to her? how long has this been happening? she ran a hand through her hair after paul told her he'd be there as fast as he can, and hung up the call.</p><p>sitting there, she managed to quit her crying yet couldn't stop shaking. she kept glancing around her, hoping her hearing wouldn't mess with her now as she kept silent in her bedroom. her mind was racing she couldn't even think anymore. who would do this? was the person she heard the one that's been messing with her? emma jumped at the sudden noise of something cracking, and she whipped her head around in the direction of her window. quickly turning her flashlight on that her phone had, she hesitantly went over to the window and grabbed onto the string that lifted the blinds.</p><p>taking in a deep breath, she yanked it down and shone the light out the window; all the color drained from her face when she saw the man that paid for her tires sitting on a now weak branch on the tree she never acknowledged before. she let out a scream, this causing sherman to scream in return and lose his balance - falling off and crashing into the flower bushes that was conveniently lined up by the sidewalk. emma booked it out of her room, dialing 9-1-1 in the process, and went in her kitchen.</p><p>"h-hello?! please come help me! there's a man stalking me, a-and another person is trying to come to my apartment! i don't know these people, please help!" she pleaded as she grabbed a knife from its holder on the counter, just in case the strangers tried to touch her. in rushed words she told the one on the phone where she lived before jumping at the sound of knocking on her apartment door. she had dropped her phone, and a part of the screen shattered. tonight just wasn't her night, huh?</p><p>she pointed the tip of the knife directly at the door - ignoring the constant "are you there?" from the phone - and stepped closer to it. heart racing, emma got on the tip of her toes to peek out of the peephole, and she saw a familiar face she only saw on the street while on the job. there stood gabbie, her hands behind her back as she patiently waited for the door to be opened. again, she began to knock, and softly called her name. how did she know her name?</p><p>"emma, sweetheart? i know you're home, please kindly open the door," said gabbie, and that's when emma's heart dropped. this random lady she hasn't even had a full length conversation with was the one with the radio; but how in the world did she manage to put it in her bedroom? she stepped backwards, gripping onto the knife handle as if it was the only thing keeping her alive. she tried to keep her guard, until she heard the jingling of keys outside the door.</p><p>the top lock clicked. emma ran as quiet as she could to her bedroom. the bottom lock clicked. emma hid under bed, scrunching herself into a ball and put a hand to her mouth. the door opened with a slow creak, and gabbie entered the apartment without permission; she looked around as she shoved her keys back into her dress pocket.<br/>"oh emma, you've changed the place a bit... not what i had in mind, but it is still cute." she hummed softly as she walked, her steps silent as a ghost against the carpeted floor.</p><p>"i'm not going to hurt you, emma, you can come out and give me some sugar, honey-" she was cut off by another voice, who sounded as though he had the most fake confidence in the universe.<br/>"get out of here!" said paul, as he stood in the doorway with balled fists. his expression showed he was more than pissed, but his eyes had the dread he was entering deadly waters. it went silent for a few beats, paul gulping harshly as his mouth went dry; finally gabbie turned to face him, and kept a tense glare on him.</p><p>moving a hand from behind her back, it was the second walkie talkie, along with pepper spray clipped around her wrist. she must knew emma would put up a fight - where even is emma?<br/>"sorry, paul, but i can't have you get in the way of my relationship with my beloved." she spat, her fingers tightening around the device as she stared at him. the villain trying to keep her separate from the barista, she had to take him down. likely for her, she didn't have to do a thing to the six foot tall man.</p><p>without warning, paul felt something strong his the back of his head, and he blacked out. he wouldn't remember falling to the floor roughly whenever he woke up. sherman stepped over the body, holding his filled travel cup in one of his hands. judging by the slight injuries and dirty clothes, gabbie made a connection this was the man that had been stalking emma, as well. who knew she'd have more than one person as competition? tossing aside the device, gabbie spoke up: "she's hiding."</p><p>"obviously, you stupid woman. go find her before i knock the lights out of you, too," spat sherman, as he lifted his cup to threaten her. greenpeace girl raised a brow as he began to approach her before flipping her hair.<br/>"sure, like you'd hit a pretty doll like me."<br/>"don't test me! i have combat skills that are very effective during black friday, i can take you!" he'd regret these words as the burning sensation filled all his senses, his shriek in pain ringing throughout the apartment.</p><p>gabbie had pepper sprayed him, so much so he was on the floor coughing and tearing up. due to the many loud noises, she knew she was on a time limit to find and get emma. "there's no use in hiding now, emma! we have to get the hell outta here, maybe elope and live alongside a river in the countryside!" she called as she twirled around the apartment, and went straight to the bedroom that looked lifeless.</p><p>upon seeing her feet and ankles, the barista under the bed tensed up and kept her grip on her knife, staring in the direction of one of her stalkers. she couldn't make a peep or it was all over. paul was down, the other stalker was down (she didn't think she'd be saved by him), she was all alone with a psychotic bitch. never in her life had she thought there was a god, but that night she found herself praying in her head in incoherent thoughts.</p><p>"you know you love me! we can be together forever, sweetheart, we will get married and i'll finally be your everything!" she cracked up laughing as she stepped to the middle of the room, twirling around again; the end of her dress flowing hypnotically. "trust me, emma, i've got your heart. you have mine, honey, i love you dearly..." she ended her sentence with a hum, eyeing the bed with a scary grin.</p><p>this was it, this is where emma has to say goodbye to her life. robbed of her freedom, robbed of her future, robbed of her life. as gabbie stepped painfully slow closer and closer to the edge of the bed, she closed her eyes and braced for whatever would happen next.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0040"><h2>40. storm.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hidgens. sfw. tw; gore.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>hearing the thunder rumble throughout the sky, henry jumped in his seat and slammed his hands flat on his work table. he currently was studying unknown an organism he discovered late one night, but this storm was not keeping his nerves at ease as he does. in this strange sap he found, he's found out that their dna structure isn't similar to how life on earth is; however, the format was close to how measures in a music sheet would appear as.</p><p>he didn't understand the uniqueness of it, and furthered his investigation by pulling apart the sap into a number of different samples. one would be left alone while others he'll give to a plant, a raccoon that lived in his trashcan, and his pet dog. he wanted to see how this formula would react to new bodies, and he could testify if it was dangerous or if it was safe to be here on the planet - despite the oddity of the natural color and texture.</p><p>a flash of lightning was visible from outside the house, making henry snap his neck over in the direction of the window and saw the raccoon. quickly, he got out of his chair and ran to acquire the night creature; he lured it inside with crackers that had peanut butter sandwiched between them. after he was close enough to his desk, he used a tool to pick the gooey piece up and plop it on the cracker, then proceeded to hand it to the raccoon.</p><p>it sniffed at it for a second before taking it into its hands and munched away. good, while it does that, henry picked the next sample up and place it carefully in the small hole he made in the potted plant's soil. he remembered how this substance acted when in contact to the ground, becoming liquidized due to the dirt, which means the roots of the plant will drink it without an issue and the experiment can go from there.</p><p>leaving his laboratory, he walked through the long, dark hallways to where his kitchen was, the sample held in his gloved hand. while keeping it there, he refilled his dog's food bowl, slipping the sap between the kibble to cover there was anything there. "daisy! come here, girl!" called henry, as he kept his hands behind his back and waited patiently for her. he listened to the rain hit hard against the roof and windows, the wind forcing the tree's leaves to sing in fear.</p><p>not too long after, daisy stepped into the kitchen, her tall and long but thin build expressed she was getting a bit old with age; this also evident with the gray around her muzzle, but she was still kicking. "dinner time, i'm sorry it was a bit later than usual, you know how your dad can get." he told her and leaned down, using the gloved hand without any residue on it to pet daisy's head. she lifted her head to look at him, her long, floppy ears moving for a moment as she did.</p><p>without another word, he pointed at the food bowl and watched her sniff at it, then went ahead with chowing down. the old mutt needed it, thought henry as he noticed she was becoming thinner and thinner as the weeks went by. perhaps he'll research on this to see what was wrong with her, he didn't want her to pass from a simple illness that could've been cured in a matter of days. he wouldn't forgive himself if that happened.</p><p>pulled out of his thoughts, henry heard something in the house that... didn't sound right. over the loud rain and thunder, there was soft, broken music playing from some room; focusing more on it, he pieced it together that it was coming from his lab. in an instant, he rushed out of the kitchen and towards the cracked doors of his lab, and busted in with a heavy breath. he's too old to do all this running around.</p><p>glancing around, he concluded that his record player wasn't on nor was a vinyl even on it. nothing else in the room would've been able to let notes flow out, unless he had accidentally took too many pain meds and the flower glowing a dim blue was actually a radio. stepping closer, henry gently brushed his fingers against its petals, and listened to the unfamiliar song it attempted to drip out from its nectar center.</p><p>strange, very very strange. even stranger, the raccoon had seemingly disappeared, which worried the professor a great deal. carefully stepping through the lab and keeping his head low in order to scan the floor, all he saw was a trial of splattered blue liquid that had no uniformity to it; as in, he couldn't follow it and find where this creature had gone to. luckily, his ears were good enough to hear his daisy begin to bark and howl.</p><p>henry grabbed the shotgun in his laboratory and left the room, heading over to where the mutt was making loud noises - a sudden silence following. this was concerning, his pace increasing to where he last heard a dog noise, and as he turned the corner that lead to the kitchen, there he saw the disgusting scene. daisy had her jaw locked onto the raccoon's body, teeth sunken deep in it, and due to being surprised by his presence she ripped a good chunk off of it.</p><p>chills ran down henry's spine as he watched the blood spill from the animal and the bones sticking out of its deformed body. another flash of lightning, and he could see it was the same blue as before; even the raccoon's shocked eyes had been colored this, unlike the black shade it was when he first brought it in his house. daisy was the same. her eyes, formally a dark brown, was a glowing electric color he's never seen.</p><p>a growl came from her, a growl that henry only heard when she knew someone bad was nearby. he didn't wish to admit that he was at fault with the sudden turn of events, nor did he want to protect himself as he heard her nails tap against the tiled floor, but he had to face the facts. hesitantly raising his shotgun up, henry pointed it at daisy's head then pulled the trigger.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0041"><h2>41. surgery.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>doug, rob, sam. sfw.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"so you'll need this day off, along with another few weeks after until you are better?" asked sam, as he was inputting the future schedule in his computer. not too long from now, doug will finally go under the knife and will need all the time they can get to properly go through the post-surgery steps.<br/>"yup, the doctors say it varies but it could be about a week or two until i am allowed to go back to work." they replied, as they pinched at the hair tie around their wrist.</p><p>"i still can't believe you finally can afford this, doug, how do you feel? relieved, excited?" asked rob, as he gave them a supportive smile. he was one of the many people in hatchetfield that respected who they were; in fact, there isn't a single person that comes to mind that they believe would be disrespectful towards them.<br/>"i'm... not sure. i am glad it is around the corner, though it doesn't feel as though it is real." they answered honestly.</p><p>sam typed on his keyboard, which they couldn't see on the screen, before turning towards them. "you won't have to wear binders anymore, right?"<br/>"for about four weeks after the surgery, i do. it prevents fluid build up, and something about the skin sticking back to the chest," explained doug, as they brought a hand up to tap their chin. it did suck they would need to wear one for another long while, but it would be worth it in the end.</p><p>leaning back in his chair, rob crossed his arms and kept his gaze up at the ceiling, this hidden behind his shades. "well, while you're gone, i'm sure gonna miss ya. i'll make sure to text you every day to check in. maybe i could even come by and give you company on my days off." as he suggested this, doug thought about it. yes, it would be nice to have a friend there every now and again, but they wanted to do this alone.</p><p>they are known for being independent, and they would feel terrible for having others do things for them - willingly or not. to be nice, they gave rob a smile and a simple nod; "sure, bud, that'd be nice of you to do." after this comment, they stood up from their seat and excused themself for a moment to go to the break room. get a water and be stuck in their thoughts, that's what they do when they just want to think.</p><p>grabbing a small foam cup, doug watched the water pour into it in a steady form. if they were being honest, they had been nervous for the day - any form of surgery is scary, even if you have the knowledge a professional will be given the task. letting yourself get knocked out and giving your unconscious body to a stranger that will cut and poke at you... it was disturbing enough for a shiver to run down their spine.</p><p>it'll be fine, they reassured in their head. doug remembers the doctor they requested, doing a background check first to ensure this person was trustworthy, and had a good idea that they won't do anything malicious to them. however, the unsettling feeling deep within them won't leave. knowing them, they won't seek out verbal reassurance from their friends; they do not want to be seen as weak.</p><p>drinking the water in the cup, they let out a sigh and discarded it once it was empty. the weeks leading up to the scheduled day will be long, doug already is aware of this fact. the dread yet impatience to get it over with will linger over their shoulders the entire time, and with their special skill of masking their emotions, no one will guess their strong friend is in a constant state of worry, stress, and excitement.</p><p>they left the break room and returned to the two they were closest with, and went on with the day as if nothing was on their mind. no matter how much they want to just be alone and review the plan over and over again, doug engaged with sam and rob, laughing along to any joke or side comment they found little amusement in. they hoped the following weeks will go by as fast as possible.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0042"><h2>42. surprise.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>gabbie (gpg) and sierra (jlb's la dee da da day character). sfw.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>taking in a slow breath, gabbie watched the clouds in the sky pass by at a pace similar to a snail. despite it being spring, the flowers blooming to show their beauty and the tree leaves returning to their jade green color, she was not very entertained at her usual post. as much as she did enjoy her job, she tends to wish the time to go by faster.</p><p>but even on the days she wished to end sooner than later, she always looked forward to see a certain school teacher pass by on her daily run. right on time, gabbie shifted her gaze from the sky and to her right, where a woman in a gray sweatshirt was advancing towards her; the ponytail lazily pulled back bouncing as she jogged.</p><p>"hey, gabs!" called sierra, as she came to a stop by her side, a welcoming smile on her face.<br/>"h-hey, sierra! lovely day, isn't it?" she replied and held her clipboard close to her chest, her mood already shifting from bored to happy in a matter of seconds. it was nice to know someone that put in the effort to talk to her first.</p><p>sierra put her hands on her hips, cocking her head back as she caught her breath. "judging by how inactive the streets are, you've got no new signatures?" she asked, to strike up a conversation. with disappointment, gabbie nodded to confirm this true and pouted; "i don't get why no one is as interested in the planet as they should be!"</p><p>she has been on rambles like this before, approximately four times, but it didn't seem to bother the high school teacher. as she started to get heated into the topic brought up, gabbie paused her words when she noticed the other had gasped and shoved her hands into her pockets. judging from how aggressive the gesture was, it must be urgent.</p><p>"aah, surprise!" said sierra, as she handed gabbie a slip of paper that was folded in half. eyeing it, she furrowed her brows and took the paper, unsure on what it could be. "it's, uh, a free food ticket for tonight's park event. they are going to be showcasing local musicians, and since i helped set up everything, i got two of these." she pointed at the paper again.</p><p>gabbie looked up at her, still not understanding what the purpose was for. chuckling, sierra went on to explain further; "i'm inviting you to join me in watching the performances tonight, gabs."<br/>"oh!" her face became hot as a number of thank you's came out in a jumbled mess, which only made the teacher laugh a bit more at the sudden flustered state.</p><p>"i'll take that as a yes. you have my number, just text me when you're on your way to the park and we can meet by the entrance," said sierra, as she waved goodbye and continued her jog, leaving behind a confused and overwhelmed greenpeace girl. she watched her descend farther and farther before checking the ticket.</p><p>it said the starting and ending times for the showcase, along with where exactly they will be held. under the text, it explained the ticket would give you a free meal, bag of chips, and water - printed in smaller words, there was a mention how keeping the park clean will be enforced, and recycle bins will be put out near the pre-existing trash bins.</p><p>to make sure she didn't lose it, gabbie folded it and slipped it into her dress pocket, her smile never falling. "it's a date, then." she hummed to herself, a giggle following after as she called it that. well, what else could it be? it wasn't like they were best friends, this could be a chance for sierra to get to know her more. and to be honest, she was more than happy with that.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0043"><h2>43. tears.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>paul. sfw. tw; blood. // the spacing is intentional</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>everyone begins to tear up as their laughter becomes hysterical, it was a normal thing that is universally experienced.</p><p>today, it was happening to paul; as he laughed away, the water spilled from his eyes and his breath staggered.</p><p>he held onto his shirt with a tight grip, feeling the wetness he had caused to soak into the fabric.</p><p>the smell of blood hung all around him.</p><p>to mask the literal pain and dread he was feeling, paul laughed.</p><p>laughed, and laughed, and laughed, and laughed.</p><p>the sight was frightening for the ones that came stumbling into the scene, witnessing the tall man on his knees in front of motionless bodies scattered around the floor.</p><p>there was mixed shades of red across his chest, arms, hands - some splattered on his face.</p><p>but the tears cleaned the blood off his face, the drops gleaming due to the little light source from besides him.</p><p>his laughter grew soft as he leaned forward, elbows hitting the floor as he ran his hands through his hair; pulling, ripping, digging his nails into his scalp.</p><p>he wasn't listening to the loud shouts from in front of him, he didn't acknowledge the ruby liquid seeping into his sleeves.</p><p>instead, he continued to sob and choke and breathe.</p><p>paul matthews was a killer, he didn't mean to do what he did - he lost control, it isn't his fault, it was a mistake.</p><p>a slip up.</p><p>he wanted her to be alive.</p><p>he wanted to keep his arms around her thin frame, and inhale her coffee bean scent.</p><p>paul matthews was a killer, who would be killed at the scene by his own weapon.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0044"><h2>44. unknown.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>bill/rob. sfw.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"i don't know if i'm ready to come out yet," said rob, as he sat at the dinner table, across from bill. the two have been dating for a couple of months now, and as much as they are content with keeping their relationship on the quiet side of things, rob was beginning to feel bad for it.<br/>he ran his hand over to bill's, taking a hold of it; they were similar sizes, which amused rob as he is used to his hand being larger than others.</p><p>bill gave him a nod in understanding, then leaned against the table. "i am only out to my daughter, but really i don't have much to worry about if i did tell my coworkers i was bisexual, unlike you."<br/>"well- no, i shouldn't be scared to tell doug or sam that i am a homosexual. one isn't cis and loves women, while the other... i don't know, he tolerates it yet doesn't acknowledge it." he replied and furrowed his bushy brows.</p><p>why did it have to be so frustrating to announce your sexuality to everyone? he is amazed how straight is still the default, especially among their group where a select few friends are for all teams or the same team.<br/>"it's okay that you are, just tossing in a quick 'by the way, i am gay' is not so easy to do during casual conversations," said bill, as he rubbed his thumb on his lover's knuckles. reassuring, as always.</p><p>rob closed his eyes, focused on his light touch brushing against his skin. "you're not mad that we can't be open about us, right?"<br/>"of course not." he gently squeezed his hand; "i'll never be mad about this. take your time, rob, it's a special moment that you need to be sure about letting everyone know." giving him a smile, bill brought his hand up and put a small peck against it. this simple gesture got the gym and dance coach to crack a grin in return.</p><p>"thank you." he opened his eyes, meeting the gaze of the man across from him. silence had blanketed itself over the couple, however it was comforting to them; as rob watched his partner, there was a determined thought in the back of his mind telling him he'd gain confidence.<br/>he would get the courage to announce he is in a, formally unknown, wonderful mlm relationship with bill. but the time will come later than expected.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0045"><h2>45. unwritten.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>charlotte and sam. sfw.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>the clock, a tool used to measure time either at the moment, how long something has been, or how long something will take. clocks have been ticking all around her, the number digits changing each second, each minute, each hour - her life wasting away, her past holding on. even in the room that felt stuffy, felt cold and bitter with an uneasy, tense vibe, there a clock was hung - tick. tock.  tick. tock. it was mocking her, mocking her that soon the metal band that caressed the skin of her finger will be dubbed useless. meaningless.</p><p>symbols of love have been drowned out for an amount of clock ticks she lost count of, that once childish feeling of butterflies in her stomach or the reddening of her cheeks has been missing for years. too many years. she didn't feel any sort of way when her eyes grazed over to him, whether he stepped his dirty boots into the home that smelt of candle wax and cats, or he brought his frame down on the cloud-like covers of their bed; there was nothing. mind did not spark in overwhelming happiness, heart did not beat a thousand miles an hour.</p><p>all those ticks, all those tocks, all the clocks that she's seen only prove her thought that so much time has slipped from her delicate fingertips. the younger version of the currently empty shell could be described as blind, such a blind fool. her hope, her dream, her wish was far too selfish of her to pray among the stars - the universe punished her, pretending to pause time to strike down on her by taking away her wishes, her dreams, her hopes. but time ticked away, no matter how you looked at it.</p><p>for a while, she wanted every single clock to be destroyed. taken away from her presence, shielded from her wet and irritated eyes. but that's impossible, the world runs on the construct as if it was caffeine, a sickening drug. dates, deadlines, timelines, appointments, whatever else always came down to the core of time itself. when her mind was overcome with bleak thoughts, she'd believe the arms of a clock were wrapping itself around her; the numbers tattooing themselves on her sensitive, bruised skin.</p><p>the loud ticking rang in her ears, the noisy dongs marking when it had turned a new hour haunting her even as she is awake. the dates of each and every single desire of hers forever marked in her brain, injected in her memories until she dies a lonely yet painful death. despite the thudding in her head each time the hands stepped around the white canvas, the smell of the fresh ink and noise of a new pen scribbling on paper kept her focus on the present. words spilling from in front of her, quiet noises in acknowledgement besides her.</p><p>"miss vynn? are you all right?" asked the attorney in front of her, who had synced up the tapping of his foot to the ticking clock, unintentionally. that damn ticking clock. shifting in her seat, charlotte lifted her head and spared him a gentle - so gentle - smile, nodding to confirm she was okay. even during this legalization process, even tracing the phrases on documents that she was content, even sitting right there deep in her mind without paying close attention to what was happening... her despair would go unwritten.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0046"><h2>46. vampire.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>alice/deb. sfw. tw; blood.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"shit!" swore alice, as she dropped the knife on the floor and grabbed her wrist. a fresh slit on her finger made from the blade began to drip red, the cold feeling made her feel nauseous in a matter of seconds. she hadn't harmed herself in such a long while when cooking, it was strange she suddenly messed up then. holding up the hand with the abused skin, she used her free one to rummage through a drawer where she stored a number of different items that didn't have a spot anywhere else.</p><p>"did somethin' happen?" slipped in deb, as she leaned against the wall and eyed alice's frantic movement. she must be looking for something, and judging by the strong scent attacking her senses and giving her a bubbling impulse within her, her girlfriend potentially could have hurt herself.<br/>"ah, sliced a part of my finger while cutting the carrot for our soup. i don't suppose you know where our band-aids went? i know we have some around here somewhere..." she muttered the last part of her sentence.</p><p>"not that i am aware of, no." she hummed, lulling her head to the side to catch a glimpse of the fluid as dark as wine rolling down to the creases of her skin. it threatened to jump off and hit the ground, a waste of itself if gravity was fiendish enough to pull it away from alice's warm skin. a sigh came from alice as she pushed the drawer close and turned towards her girlfriend, the blood finding its way to the beige tiles of the kitchen, anyway; oh, the sound of it pierced deb's ears to the point of hissing under her breath.</p><p>the strange behavior made alice raise a brow. "well... i guess it won't hurt to run it under water and let it heal on its own, huh?" she let out an awkward laugh, then proceeded to turn on her heel to go step towards the sink. there was no response. shrugging off the stare that burrowed on her, alice turned on the faucet and let the water rinse the blood free from her skin and down the drain, a stinging sensation felt from the cut. thankfully, the girl behind her relaxed her muscles and closed her eyes, replacing one sinful desire with a more acceptable one.</p><p>"dinner smells good, babe," said deb, as she shuffled up behind her and slithered her arms around her waist.<br/>"it'll be done soon, don't you worry!" hummed alice, as she kept her gaze down at her hand, now cleaning out the injury in case something got in it. since deb's face was pressed down against her shoulder, she felt a bit of movement, as if her lover adjusted her jaw to make herself more comfortable. odd, no one does that, to her knowledge - she was hiding a huge detail and is struggling to keep it subtle.</p><p>alice turned off the sink then dried her hands, going as slow as possible, her eyes closed as she did; appearing polite, appearing elegant. she felt her adjust her head, chin now propped on her shoulder and more than likely staring someplace she could not imagine.<br/>"deb?" she softly said, the silence following afterwards let her know she was listening. moving her body so that she was now facing her full front, alice ran her hands up to her face, and used her thumbs to caress her pale cheeks kissed with freckles.</p><p>they stood there for a while, staring at one another, deb expecting a kiss from her; instead, there suddenly was thumbs in her mouth, pushing her upper lip aside to reveal the venomous fangs aching for the one thing she swore to never consume. the life drained from her own body, even if she wasn't alive in the first place - would she be seen as some sort of villain, someone taking advantage of weak prey and soon will find the right time to strike? how embarrassing of a situation this was.</p><p>moving her hands away from her mouth, alice stared at her in silence for another couple of seconds. no expression of fear, no quick heart rate, not even a bit of tension in her arms. "dinner will be ready soon, love." she whispered then planted a soft, light kiss on her cheek; slipping from her embrace to go back to the carrot left behind for a moment. deb let her do this, simply leaving her be to continue her work, not sure what she was thinking - not sure what she, herself, was thinking. if anything, perhaps this will bring them closer. much closer.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0047"><h2>47. vintage.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tom and emma. sfw.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"hey tommy, remember this bitch?" laughed emma, as she lifted up a raggedy, neon-colored doll from a box labeled 'harsh memories.' they were currently in the attic going through some old stuff, deciding what to keep, what to toss, and what to donate since tom had been looking for a new house to buy. as much as he liked the old one, it didn't feel like his anymore, let alone feel like it was his and becky's.</p><p>"god, no thanks with that shit, emma. i rather not remember almost killing a kid over it," sighed tom, as he went over to her anyways and took the doll into his hands. "still can't believe they named it wiggly, isn't that fucking ridiculous?" he snorted before carrying it over to the bag meant for trash, but was stopped by his sister-in-law.<br/>"c'mon, he should be rid of all evil 'n junk, why not keep him just to look back at it and laugh?"</p><p>tom looked at her with a disturbed expression, unsure on why she'd suggest such a thing. "you do realize what happened that night won't ever be forgotten by this town, right? if anyone else saw this in our possession, i think some secret agent would track us down to make sure we aren't forming a new, dangerous cult." he ranted on but seemed to lose emma's interest, her eyes on the ripped up wiggly.</p><p>"well... maybe we can go out to a new place and see if a vintage store wants it. they could clean it up, snitch it a little, then boom- inventory for unsuspecting shoppers. i mean- it does look like an old '90s toy!" suggested emma, as she swooped the wiggly out of his rough hands and held it up in the air.<br/>that once alluring magic the doll had was gone, all is left was a useless host that lose its sparkle from that tragic black friday evening.</p><p>giving in, he sighed and waved his hand, not wanting to look at it anymore. "yeah, yeah- just throw it in the donate box or something. maybe cover it with the books in there, too, i don't want it looking at me." he huffed a response before continuing what he was working on prior to the interruption. as much as he did not like thinking about it, if that day never happened, or he had not went to the mall, tom wouldn't have got back with becky.</p><p>it was a fond yet daring territory in memory lane to cross, so he tried his best to step into it with caution when he'd get small, sudden images from the day. treading on in his mind and going through the named boxes of varying sizes, tom didn't bother to care for the noises that came from behind him - it was only emma, doing her task that she agreed to help with, despite it being her day off from working in the lab with professor hidgens.</p><p>though it would seem the day tom had the time to go on that trip with becky and tim, something planned as a special treat, he could not spot the old wiggly doll that emma had smuggled away deep into the donation box. he didn't let the concern hold onto him for long; it is emma, she wasn't even a victim of the black friday incident, so why fear the doll still had tricks? letting it go, he would not think to find himself in a sticky situation on a hot morning in late spring.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0048"><h2>48. warm.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>paulkins. sfw.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>it was six in the morning on a saturday, both paul and emma were off from work and in desperate need of sleep, but this was difficult when it was below freezing outside and that weather seeped its way into their apartment. with cold noses, cold faces, cold everything, the couple stayed close to one another in a tight embrace.</p><p>"ugh, we need to get more blankets, i'm gonna die of hypothermia!" she complained, as she slipped her ice cube-like fingers up his shirt; him whining at the sudden difference between his and her skin.<br/>"that doesn't mean you get to steal my heat!" he said back, a frown forming at the ends of his mouth.</p><p>she laughed, finding his sleepy aggravation cute. "sorry, dummy, but you can spare some of this warm energy to me. you don't want your future wife to die on ya, right?" sticking her tongue out, emma kept her cocky smirk on her face, only making paul shake his head at her childish behavior.<br/>"don't say things like that..." he mumbled before pressing up against her.</p><p>he let her bury her face into the crook of his neck, feeling her hot breath as she exhaled - to indicate she is relaxed - it helped with the unnecessary room temperature. finally, staying still in this position, along with the covers pulled up right where the bridge of paul's nose was, the couple were comfortable enough to doze off into their previous sleeping state.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0049"><h2>49. wolf.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>paulkins. sfw.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>clanks, crashes, croaks. these strange, unfamiliar noises woke emma up in the middle of the night, her confusion dawning on her when she heard them. then the panic hit her, the thought someone had broke into the apartment and planned on stealing their... valuables? there wasn't anything there she owns that was particularly worth taking, but still, robbery is robbery and she doesn't want her shit out of her presence.</p><p>throwing herself out of bed, she opened the drawer to her nightstand in order to find the pocketknife she hid away in it; once grabbing it, she carefully made her way to the bedroom door, the chill of the apartment causing her blood to grow colder than it already was. she wasn't thinking as she did this - she had no plan, she didn't even bring her phone to call the police in case she got injured. real smart of her, isn't it?</p><p>shaking her head to kick the tiredness out of her, emma flipped out the blade and quietly stepped out of the room, scanning the area in front of her before continuing. no sign of a person yet, thankfully, meaning she had extra time to spare to think of an idea if things go wrong. another thump and huff was heard from a nearby area, however when she heard it, it resulted in her pausing - that... didn't sound human.</p><p>come to think of it, the bed was empty when she was startled and hopped out to go see what the ruckus was. does that mean paul was out? he can't be, all the stores but the 24/7 gas station was closed, though paul does like driving late at night for some reason. furrowing her brows, believing this was all a trick, emma dropped her arms and chuckled; "very funny, paul, you do realize halloween has past, right?"</p><p>no response, it became eerily quiet. she felt her heart thump in her chest, in her ears- she stepped over to the kitchen, noticing the fridge light was illuminating the area of the apartment. as she rounded the corner, she froze in her steps, the sight in front of her had the question pop in her head: am i going crazy? at the fridge, there was a huge beast on all fours, neck craned down with its teeth gnawing on the bones of a chicken they were going to defrost and cook.</p><p>it was a complete mess on the floor, the bits of chicken and multiple broken jars and bottles scattered under and around the thing. just from the sight, emma knew this creature was hungry, and whatever it scavenged for was not at all filling; clenching onto the handle of the pocket knife, she puffed out her chest to try and mimic animals in the wild to prove they were the bigger, dominant one.</p><p>"sorry mister... wolf, but you cannot be here, wherever you came from!" she spat, trying her best to keep her voice from shaking in utter fear. this, however, was a big mistake as the wolf lifted its gaze directly on emma - it licked at its lips, the tactic not scaring it in the slightest. before emma could let out any more words, any other shouts, the wolf pounced from its spot and opened its jaw as it closed in on her.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0050"><h2>50. yikes!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>author's note.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>hello, hello! this was not how i wanted to end this entire book, but i lost the motivation to get through this last chapter - it would've probably been an interesting plot, so sorry for those who were expecting a silly little final :(( i am, however, going to write a few last oneshots that are separate from this, along with a book that Might Be slowly written lmaO i just am more so focused on a different fanbase at the current moment uHM yes</p><p>i am very grateful for all the love on this book! every read and comment and kudo helped me keep going with this story, i wouldn't have been able to do this without all of you !! hopefully all of you have a wonderful holidays, or just a great rest of your year! ^w^ -bee</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>the amount of words in chapters will vary oop sorry that this was short :0</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>